Updated: Jan 21
How I became a modern-day Hippie or something close to it - I LOVE being a Hippeo! Okay, love is a strong word- Let’s just say being a hippie doesn’t suck anymore.
It's been exactly two years and five months from day one of my first 30-day challenge and two months since my new year's resolution. Has all the hard work paid off? Unfortunately, I can’t truly answer that, because I don’t feel like my hippy journey is over. But I do know that I am a much happier, healthy more energetic I and I don’t think being a Hippie sucks anymore! The changes I have made in my diet, have not only allowed me to better my health, but also my self-confidence, mental clarity, drive, and ability. Now don’t get me wrong I still have down days, where I sit in front of the TV and waste my time away. I’m still rubbish at spelling and grammar (as I'm sure you can tell), I sometimes wonder aimlessly around the house trying to think of what I was looking for and Yes, I still occasionally wonder if what I’m doing matters at all. But all in all, I’m an extremely much better me.
If you’ve stumbled onto this page, it’s worth going back and reading The Beginning, IVF & Unexplained Infertility, Improving My Fertility Diet & Trying to Explain My Unexplained Infertility & Dealing with the Emotional Side of Unexplained Infertility
Becoming a Hippeo has made me slow down (this is what I’m most grateful for). I am very much a type A personality and most of my life I have been in a hurry. In reality, I haven't enjoyed the ride. 1: It went by too fast and 2: I don't feel I did my very best. I was just too busy being in a rush to do it right. I now have taken away all the expectations in my life and try to enjoy the day by day (more on that subject later). Living day by day is brilliant. When I go to sleep at night I can look at my day and be grateful for all that's surrounds me and then I get to look at tomorrow with the blank slate and be excited for what I can create. And that folks is a bunch of BS- TRY was the keyword.
I wish I were there mentally and emotionally- at a place where I could quickly switch off to what was happening. But I still find myself worrying about, that which I cannot control. (I'm still working at it - remember I'm something like a hippy.) With all things good- it takes time, practice and dedication. Clean eating, yoga, meditation, mentors, and support through books and podcast, have all helped me become slower and enjoy every (okay, most) days. I can say that I’m more aware of my day to day life and I am truly grateful for what I have. I heard this today and thought it summed up what I have been feeling about life and taking it more slowly: "Stop rushing things that aren't meant to be rushed. If you must rush things, then rush being patient. Be so patient that you're in a hurry. Enjoy the process of life." (It's off this cheesy YouTube video)
My goal at the start of this hippy journey was to get pregnant. That is no longer my goal. My goal now is to have a healthy baby. I know, I know, that’s everyone’s goal- “As long as it’s healthy.” What I mean is a lot deeper than that. You could look at me and say that I was healthy my whole life, but in reality, I lacked in a lot of different areas- emotional, mentality and eventually biologically. No healthy women simply doesn’t get pregnant just because- it’s NOT “Just one of those things!”
My generation (and the one before and the rest after) are being told that a lot of the health issues we're facing are normal. Allergies, Immune System Issues, Asthma, Arthritis, Endometriosis, Eczema, Indigestion (the list goes on) and that drugs are the only path to fixing the problem. But hopefully, as I have, you’ll discover that these issues are anything but normal and gain the power to understand and work towards what it is to be truly healthy, through nutrition and the support of drugs if needed.
I know there are no guarantees, and you can't have control over everything, but I do know that you have the power to switch genes on and off. Obviously, some of my family genes have been switched off through the generations. My grandmother had nine children (within 11 years), and my mom was the 6th and born almost exactly a year after my uncle. Because she has suffered her whole life with hormonal issues (she ended up getting a hysterectomy in her early 30's, and the doctors told her, that she was lucky to have kids), I'm lead to believe that maybe my grandmother's body wasn't quite ready to create a fully healthy baby.
Considering I was a wee little egg in my mother when she was still in her mother, I feel grateful that I'm only dealing (to my knowledge) with an overactive immune system and I still have ovaries, eggs, and a womb at the age of 33. Now at the end of the day, even though my mom and I both have had issues, we both feel it's not been the end of the world. But they are issues I wouldn't wish on anyone- I do not want my children (or anyone else’s children for that matter) to have to go through life with switched off genes. I'm now trying my very best to make sure that they have the best chance, they can possibly have. This means, switching back on whatever good gens my family has to offer (through nutrition) and to help educate parents and careers on how to do the same!
I’ve learned that becoming a Hippeo is a never-ending journey (it totally would be so much cooler with Falkor the Luckdragon); the moment you think you've made it to the end, you realise you’ve got a long way to go- emotionally, physically, spirituality and biologically. But as much as being a Hippeo may be a major inconvenience; there's no going back after all is said and done. I hope to find a nice balance in my life of good and bad- I'll forever be working on not hanging out with Mr. Rumination, give in to a piece of cake every once in a while, and red wine is still my best friend. But bone broth, liver and meditation are here to stay.
Am I ready for the next step?
If you mean the next step being: Am I ready to pump myself full of drugs, have a bunch of different people look up my vagina, endure the two-week wait, only to (hopefully) have to wait another 36 weeks, which leads to a lifetime of worrying and caring about your child's health, well-being, education, boyfriends, girlfriends, jumping off cliffs and big piles of snow and then finally getting on an aeroplane to travel the world all by themselves. NO! Seriously- Who the duck is ever really ready for that? But if you mean: Doing what needs to be done and if we’re lucky enough- helping to love and guide another human through this crazy world. Then YES, totally.
NEXT TIME on How I became a modern-day Hippie or something close to it: Finally Pregnant After Years of Unexplained Infertility
I find myself needing to explain a few things that you may be questioning (If you have no questions, stop reading):
1: “You’re a Hippeo now, why are you using drugs?” Answer: As much as I believe in nutrition and healing the body with natural remedies, I don't know when or if my overactive immune system will ever quite the duck down. And let's be honest that might not only be the only issue. Also, we've got four little monsters on ice and I cannot leave them. The immensely sad part from me is that it's their lives that are at stake and because of that I am trying to do everything I can to help them survive; through nutrition and drugs.
2: “Why not adopt?” Answer: We all take different journeys, and for us, adoption just isn't the right journey for now (that's not to say that we'll never go down that road). Also, adoption isn't as easy as many people think it is- emotionally and financially. Just like IVF, there are no guarantees.
So that's it, that's my very condensed down version of how I became a Hippeo. Thank You so much to all my family and friends, for the continued support- it's been an amazing journey! If you'd like any support in your own journey or have any questions, please feel free to get in contact.
FEEL SUPPORTED & GET INSPIRED - Other great post about my journey:
Positive Thoughts, Positive Me
📺 Subscribe to Finding Fertility over on YouTube & your favourite podcast platform
🌺 Eight-Week Fertility Reconnect Course
🥑 FREE 2 Week Fertility Meal Plan
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.