Top 2 Things I Did To Get Pregnant Naturally

podcast Feb 14, 2020
“It was the simple fact that we just really took our time, for different reasons and in hindsight, we were so fortunate because it gave us that time to sort my shit out. My body needed time to heal.”  
They say hindsight is 20/20—but, when it comes to Finding Fertility, that can be an understatement. Today, we talk a look back and I share the two things that made the biggest difference on my fertility journey. 

Listen [or read below] as I share the story of my family’s 7-year road to fertility. Hear the seemingly small yet enormously impactful physical and mental shifts my partner and I made that changed the trajectory of our pregnancy story. I touch on everything, from IVF to steroids and diet.
Find out what you need to advocate for when it comes to your fertility and how the changes you make can impact you and the life of your child well beyond your 9-months together.
“The ultimate goal is to give your child the best health and happiness that they possibly can get from you. Being healthy before you conceive, being healthy during your pregnancy is the one thing you can control… It's not about being perfect. It's about being the best that you can be for your child.”  -Monica [19:38]
Episode Timeline:
  • [00:00] Intro
  • [00:07] Welcome to Finding Fertility 
  • [02:16] What I got right in hindsight
  • [03:00] #1: Taking things slow
  • [04:09] Diet changes
  • [04:31] Considering Finances 
  • [06:44] Demanding immune testing 
  • [07:52] Shifting my diet again
  • [13:58] #2: Learning about epigenetics 
  • [17:43] Implications of taking drugs and not improving your health
  • [20:16] Emotional work and stopping cycles
  • [21:53] Outro
Thank you for joining me for another episode of the Finding fertility podcast. I want to remind you that every Tuesday I relaunch one of my favorite episodes that we've done in the past. So if you hear any funny dates offers or even the podcast being called the infertile diagnosis. This is why I hope you forgive me for this and enjoy the amazing content we're putting out here on the podcast. And whenever you're ready for more guided support, make sure you go over to the website and check out the fertility formula. This is where I take you through the six vital steps. You need to overcome your fertility issues. The formula is an exclusive 10 week online program packed full of everything I did to get pregnant naturally. Using science backed functional medicine. You'll discover the method I take with my 1 to 1 client without the high price tag. Start boosting your fertility naturally by maximizing all areas of your health. Today, the monthly membership includes special access to me, your fertility health coach.
So check it out over at the website www dot finding fertility dot co backslash fertility formula. Hello, beautiful people And welcome back. Or should I say welcome to Finding fertility. Yeah. Yeah. Mm That's right. I'm rebranding um maybe I've seen it over on instagram or on my tiktok or on the website but I am putting everything into one name. Um I think it was getting a little bit like all over the place with having mindful me which mindful me actually was never supposed to be a company that I did on my own. It was it was started with the journal and we had really big plans to make a few different types of infertility journals and then go into other areas of um you know support for people like cancer or grieving lots of different things.
So when my business partner walked away, I was left with this beautiful company mindful me and um I just kind of put my health coaching um together with it and then my instagram has been like positive fertility. And then I went to Fertility Reconnect which is still a course and then the infertile diagnosis um this podcast here and the infertile diagnosis um in my head is an amazing title because we get caught up with our infertile diagnosis and you know we only focus on that and in reality um you know if you listen to this long enough that focusing on your infertile diagnosis just isn't good enough. But I don't necessarily think it's um everyone is getting that and understanding that. So I just had some self exploring to do and I came up with finding fertility um with some help from a lovely lady.
So today on finding fertility I thought I would talk about what I think I did right during my infertility journey because I think the last time I talked to you solo I talked about my things that I did wrong, which I had five of them. Um I probably could have gone on this time. Only have I think 22 things that in hindsight I did right? And I say hindsight because I didn't purposely do these things. Um you might have heard me talk about them before. But yeah, I didn't purposely open and there goes my my light that I had. Anyways, the two things that I did right. Um The first thing that I did right was we took our time now this definitely wasn't on purpose and if I was the driving force of this we probably wouldn't have taken our time, I would have probably been a little bit more like come on let's go, let's do another round of IVF, let's do this, let's do this where um I really let my husband kind of take the lead in this part of our journey um and he was very much so relaxed about the whole thing, he's kind of like a little Yoda, my husband but um he just wasn't in a rush to do back to back any things and so after our first failed IBF we took some time and just really explored our options.
I went and found a new clinic. Um I read a book about, you know, is your body baby friendly. So the clinic that I thought out was um kind of advanced in that time, it was doing the immune um testing. We also changed up our diet so we decided to give ourselves some time to let that improve our situation. We didn't really know at the time how dramatic it was going to improve it. It wasn't like someone said to us three months or six months um We just kind of let it play out. We also we're paying for everything ourselves. So I think that had a big play in it. We did it when we had the money or we knew we were going to be a little bit more financially secure and not get ourselves into a whole lot of debt. Um That was really important to my husband. There was um definitely no you know taking out major loans or selling our house or anything like that.
We decided that we were only going to do it if we had the money. Um So we took our time between our two IVF and you know that made a huge dramatic difference in our journey because if we would have done back to back IVF our situation wouldn't have improved. We really needed that time to improve my health especially um and give my body the best chance to start healing which it did. Um If you've been following me long enough you know that my um two I. V. S were dramatically different with one At 30 years old. Getting no viable embryos. Um we did transfer two embryos but they were very low quality a lot of friends fragmentation in them and on our second IVF we actually collected less aches but got 55 healthy embryos, they said six, but they only froze the sixth one because um they were freezing other ones anyways, so that was a huge win for us and that allowed us to um really continue with our journey.
You know, we weren't just, you know, throwing darts in the dark scene like, oh well, just do another round if it's, you know, it's just numbers, right when you're doing round and round and round after IVF um of IVF, it is literally throwing darts in the dark to see if you're going to get that one golden egg. So taking the time improving our health um after that failed, we demanded the immune testing that we went to the clinic for if you know the story, we got talked out of it because I wasn't having recurring miscarriages and we found out that I had high NK cells, so we took some time and um we actually were moving around that time too. We moved from york in England to angle see in north Wales. And right before we moved we did the frozen embryo transfer because our clinic was in shuffled. I literally left my house, like gave the keys, we sold our house, gave the keys over, spend the night at a friend's house, went to the clinic in Sheffield, did the frozen embryos for transfer and then drove, I think it's like a five hour drive to north Wales.
So anyways, I got pregnant that round and if you know my story had a missed miscarriage and we took in between then and going back. So that was july, we didn't go back for our second frozen embryo transfer until March. So we took another like 89 months and in this time I did a lot more study about auto immune issues, which high NK cells is an immune issue and what was actually causing these NK cells. And that's when I found out about the auto immune diet in protocol and then I shifted my diet yet again. Um So when people like or maybe even you feel this way like I've changed my diet, it doesn't work diet lifestyle doesn't work. You know, that could be a really big reason why it didn't work because it wasn't the right diet for you. I am a shining example of that. So um we waited yet again, I improved my diet and during this time I was really doing big mental health shifts as well and we did our present embryo transfer and yeah, that's our IVF baby.
So from the time of trying to conceive to having our first baby was seven years around that and it wasn't because we were doing round after round of IVF or I u I s and they were failing um you know, in the grand scheme of things, there's people out there who have a two year journey and have done way more IVF or medical treatment than I have, it was the simple fact that we just really took our time to, you know for different reasons and in hindsight we were so fortunate because it gave us that time too short, sort my shit out, like my body needed time to heal and nowadays I think that you know there are more open and willing to do these auto immune tests and um some clinics are like here's the auto immune suppressing or here's this immune suppressing drugs.
So if I would have had all that knowledge at the beginning of my journey I wouldn't have done diet and lifestyle, I know I wouldn't have um I would have just done the IBF and done the immune suppressing drugs, but I'm so grateful that that did not happen to me because of my knowledge now about epigenetic six and this month we're doing like a whole epigenetic saying and um knowing the impact that if I would have not changed um much about my diet, like for me I had to change some stuff to get viable eggs. Um Okay maybe if I would have done 56 rounds of IVF, I would have maybe possibly got a golden age but it was probably highly unlikely but even if I just did the bare minimum to get some eggs, you know the impact that could happen um of the poor health that I was passing on to my Children um Yeah definitely, even though I don't wish anyone anything, I I would never want to go back to the beginning.
Um But now the knowledge that I have about epigenetic six, I would I would do it all over again knowing that the time I took has not, you know, not only improved my own health but has improved, you know, the health of my Children, you know the longevity, you know, it's not just about having a baby, a healthy baby there. You know, we do things, things change and grow through their whole lives and I'm sure you've heard me talk about, you know, I have two sons, my my husband's side of the family, his brother, his father, his grandfather all had prostate cancer. So that is a genetic thing. My husband has it, my sons are born with it. That's a genetic thing that I cannot change. But I know that the work that I did before they were born during my pregnancy um has given them, you know, a better chance of one.
Maybe not ever, might not ever grow. Who knows? I'm definitely sure that my sons are going to like be party animals. Like I was in there like teens and twenties, but you know, you can only control so much right? But I know that my journey has um just given my boys a little bit of extra boost to manage what is genetically given to them. So that is the first thing in hindsight that I did right is that I was slow in my journey that I didn't rush because I know that we all want to be pregnant yesterday and it's really hard to put the brakes on. You know we always think like when we're taking care of our health which might be three months to six months that we are putting the brakes on on our journey, which in reality um for a lot of us it actually might be speeding up the process.
I think if um I had this knowledge right after my failed IVF, it wouldn't have taken me another six years for my journey to end. Um I think I was like at least willing at that stage. So if I had to go straight on the auto immune um diet then I would have um and I think I would have achieved my ultimate goal a lot sooner, even though at the time it probably would have felt like decades, right? But in hindsight you do it then. Okay let's say even took me a year. That would have saved me five years. So it's crazy. It's crazy to think of things like that. So the second thing that I did write has to go all back to the epigenetic six um gaining this knowledge about epigenetic. So I learned about epigenetic or right before we went and did our second embryo transfer which became our her son and this knowledge can be really like overwhelming and all consuming.
I always think about like Neo and taking the red pill and the blue pill. You know, like once you have this knowledge, it's really hard not to live your life in a normal way. You know, you're kind of always like looking at food or like hair products are all that like in a different light and sometimes it's just like you need to calm yourself down um because it can get really overwhelming and when you're, you know trying like for me, I didn't really have like really good guidance. Um I didn't have anyone necessarily sitting in my corner going like, look, if you eat that ham burger with a bun on, it is not going to be the end of the world. You are you know, not gonna cause you know like great harm to your child, but at that stage, especially during that frozen embryo transfer, like I was just petrified. And um so there's a really good balance between this.
Like I'm not talking about being perfect because you obviously can't control everything. Like even if you are perfect things can happen genetically that are out of your control. But I am was really mindful that I was taking these immune suppressing drugs and that is a really big debate out there. I covered this actually in um to youtube videos um about some of the doctors not doing the immune suppressing drugs because there is no evidence of what happens or what can happen to a fetus during this time. Because when you're using immune suppressing drugs, you're on steroids. Um and if anyone knows anything about steroids, the shit fucks you up, man. Like there is hands down the worst saying I was on during all of my infertility stuff and um you know, we, you know, people don't know the implications of taking these drugs during the first three months of your baby's life, um you know, and the first three months is a critical time.
You know, everything is forming, like your baby has a heartbeat at seven weeks old, so um you know, the big issue and I and this is why it was so hard on myself um like having the bone broth like every other day and you know, there was times I did not want to have it, it made me feel sick and I was like, you get the stuff down your throat um being really super strict on my autoimmune paleo diet. Um you know, I did have some cheat in, but they were the best case I could possibly get um yeah, just being really health conscious during this time, because I wasn't a normal pregnancy, I was taking these really hardcore drugs to help me get pregnant and with the knowledge of epigenetic, so I just wanted to do the best I possibly could in that situation, I'm really grateful for the knowledge because once again, I do feel like all the things that I had control over, I did the best that I could possibly do.
So whatever outcome happened after that, I knew, I I didn't I wasn't going to beat myself up over it because I put in the best I possibly could. So I felt I did really well in that, and that is my advice. You know, I get a lot of women coming to me asking about what drugs did you use, you know, how do you get your doctor to prescribe them? Like, do you think I could just go get steroids and using myself and um I'm really glad there there's doctors out there that are not giving these drugs to women because they've taken this oath and there to them, their oath is like, well, we don't know what the outcomes of these drugs are, it's unproven, so we're not gonna do it. Um I know it sucks. I know that um you know, if I didn't have the knowledge that I had, I would feel the frustrations that you might be feeling right now, but I'm telling you that the knowledge of epigenetic is and what you the possible implications of using these drugs and not fixing your health on top of that could possibly have to your pregnancy, into your child's long term health, it's really big and um it's a lot to think about, like, I remember being there and just being like, like, you know, the emoji, like head guy thing um yeah, it's insane, but I would say that's something that you can work on now and something that I slowly worked on during my journey.
So when I got to the point of pregnancy, you know, whether you're using the immune suppressing drugs or not that during your pregnancy, you keep up all these healthy habits, you know, the ultimate goal is to give your child the best health and happiness that they possibly can get from you and being healthy before you conceive. Being healthy during your pregnancy is the one thing you can control, you have that control. So, you know, like I said, it's not about being perfect, but it's about being the best that you can be for your child before you even look into their eyes and then obviously on the flip side of that, the emotional work that you're doing now, you are not going to continue that on with your Children. You know, I always talk about how I came from a loving home, I don't have any qualms with my upbringing, but I definitely got, like, some old school teasing or like telling, you know, like, in a joking way, like, you're not good enough um or you can't do something.
Um you know, obviously I talked about like being told Wendy the winner wasn't invited. So all these little things that you will start noticing about yourself and about your childhood, you can start putting in the work to change that for your Children. So we are very conscious of like how we talk to our child and um our Children and that we don't do teasing, we don't tell them, you know even with food, like their kids right there, like they love vegetables when they're babies and then they don't like the vegetables when they turn 1.5. It's like a biological bullshit thing, I don't know, but we don't sit there and say don't give them the vegetables and then when they say I don't like it, I'm like what are you talking about? You love it. And so like our eldest child now talks about vegetables um like like that their superpower, this doesn't mean he sits there and eats his vegetables all the time, but in his brain he thinks that their superpower, so therefore you know is implanting that seat right, that was just my little dinger.
Uh sorry about that. Um but there it is, those are the two things I did right in hindsight. I did not purposely do these things, but these are two things that are really big driving force in um the message I want to get out there, the support I want to give you and the coaching that is available. So um I really hope that um that you you know, take this on board, little sink in, put it in your subconscious and um take it through your journey with you. So thank you so much for tuning in. We've got two amazing interviews coming up at the end of the month. I'm super excited about them. Um, I think they're game changers, obviously, I think their game changers, but uh, that is it. Um, go over to the website we are now at finding Fertility dot Co. Sign up to the email list.
There's lots of love on there. Obviously you can find me over on Youtube and instagram and Tiktok. They're all under finding fertility now. Thank you so much for joining in. I hope you have a beautiful weekend and we will see you next week.

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Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

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