“A large majority of people are waking up and saying ‘this doesn’t feel right anymore’”.
Tuning into yourself. Do we do that enough? We sometimes boil infertility downt to processes and procedures, and this test, and that diet, rather than tuning into ourselves. Our emotions, our spiritual tendencies all have a major role to play in this journey. If we ignore that aspect we lose a lot of who we are and a lot of the experience.
“Your intuition is there for you.”
Modern medicine offers some amazing opportunities, but it also leaves much of the big picture out of the experience of having a baby, and it leaves out the inward emotion and feeling. We are our own biggest advocates, and we have to be because there are times when those around us are not going to be looking out for us as individuals.
“Everyone experiences those spiritual nudges.”
It’s especially during these times that we have to look inward and recognize what it is we know and what it is we feel we need to do. We can’t be afraid of our intuition and emotions because they have to guide us on this journey. We hope you enjoy this incredible conversation with Dr. Emma Brodzinski.
“Our life experience is more than procedures and processes.”
Connect with Emma:
🌺 Download your FREE Guide: Top 3 Steps to Maximise Your Fertility That Your Doctor Isn't Talking About
Hello beautiful and welcome to finding fertility Happy Friday all welcome back to another episode of finding fertility. I'm your host, Monica Cox from finding fertility.co. It is the beginning of August, I can't believe how fast this year is actually going, considering everything that's happening in the world, and what's happening in our own personal private lives. I know during my years of infertility every month was another month that I felt frustrated alone. I didn't understand what I needed to do for a lot of it. And then when I started putting things into place, I didn't understand why they weren't working. So well you know that we have some amazing programmes that are going online right now the finding fertility formula, but I also want to remind you that I have a few slots open right now for one on one coaching, the waitlist isn't that long. So if this is something that you're super interested in, give me an email, we can discuss any questions that you have about the one to one coaching packages, especially with the functional testing. If you're kind of I don't know what testing to do, but I really interested in it, send me an email with your details of your journey. And I can point you in the right direction of what testing could possibly help get down to the root cause of your infertility. Super excited for today's interview. It's Dr. Emma puginsky. I absolutely adore this woman and she is she's made some radical changes to what she's bringing out to the world. So I'm super excited to have her on and have you listened to her new adventure. So without further ado, let's get to the show. Welcome back to another episode of finding fertility. I'm super excited to have my lovely friend on Dr. Emma Brzezinski. You've been on the podcast quite a lot, man, you are one of our talk show co hosts and we had a really amazing chat. It was over a year ago now that we set. But I'm really excited to have you on because you've kind of shifted in what you're doing in the fertility community. And I would like you to talk about a little bit how, what the shift is and what you are about to unleash on the world.
Well, thank you very much for talking to me officially. Ya know, so I'm coming out of the closet is that is the thing. And I think this all starts with my fertility journey. And so I say I never intended as many of us didn't ever intend to become a fertility coach ever intended to go into this kind of work. And very often people come into this field because of their own experiences. And that was true for me a big part of my fertility journey, which I didn't really I there's it's always been there. But I was never really open about it was the kind of the sort of spiritual aspect of the journey. For me it was it that was a massive part of it, I think I got to a place where I was so desperate that I was willing to give anything ago tried to sing, so did hear did all sorts of things, including engaging with kind of different spiritual practices. And also it was that sense of just kind of opening up to a higher power. So that was a really important part of my work. And it's always, as a therapist, I've always had a kind of Shamanic orientation, which meant that I kind of worked one on one with people and believed that they there kind of their spirit guides would be working with me, but I would never, it wasn't ever a sort of, of a thing. And I think that the honest truth is I kind of was a bit scary. It's about like, we tend to say that to people. And I think you're kind of you know, too woowoo out there. And I suppose I had a kind of judgement about myself on that. But I know that it's so important. And the more that I worked as a fertility coach, and the more that I deepened my own practice, it seems more and more important to be really open about that and offer that to other people.
Yeah, I mean, you're classically trained, you have a doctrine, you are the therapist,
a therapist, I'm an academic, I, you know, all of that. So that doesn't necessarily sit that well. Although I do read all of this I've held on to Jung So Carl Jung you know, father's psychological theory where he basically he was, you know, he was a shaman. So he will be delivering lectures to the Vienna Psychological Society during the day and then at night he will be journeying to his spirit guide. So I've kind of I've kind of held on to that in terms of that is a model and the more I talk to people about it, the more people everybody experiences this everyone experience It seems though spiritual nudges. We've all had that sense of, oh, you know, I wonder how Kevin is, and then she rings you up, or you open a book, and it's just the right thing, have a feeling about something, and then you look back and go, I knew that I knew I should have done that. So that that sense of we have that. And we know that. So I think acknowledging that and allowing that people to be fully present in their journey, and knowing how important it was, to me, I think it was that sense of actually, I'm doing people a disservice if I don't work with him on that level, because I know how important it was to me,
we just got pushed away from all our natural abilities, right? Over centuries, I mean, hundreds of years, we're not just talking about modern modern day technology here, you know, there was this very big divide. And for whatever reason, it became very rude to, you know, even talk about diet and nutrition, and, you know, the Holy Ghost and all those type of things, it kind of just got a little bit too much for people and like, No, we're, we're so disconnected from that, I believe now, especially with everything that's going on in our current situation with COVID. And Black Lives Matter. There's this huge conscious shift in the world. So there's this younger generation, so like, I'm borderline millennium, but like, the Gen Z years, are really just waiting to take this bullshit anymore. There. There's something bigger than what the government or whoever, you know, whoever we want to blame is saying, right? For very, very long time, we've just kind of all marched in line with what the doctor said, what our therapist said, what our parents said, what our you know, Congressman said, what our church leader said, and I think a whole large majority of us are kind of waking up going, This doesn't feel right anymore. This doesn't make sense that we all just have to be really sick and then use medical support to support us and my emotions are valid, like our we're finally allowed to say that out loud, right? generations before us, they were suppressed their emotions, their connection to anything else wishes very much suppressed. And now we're all kind of like, this is actually really important, because trauma, as we now know, moves through the generations. So even if you personally haven't felt major or even semi traumatic experience, your parents traumatic experience, or your grandparents could easily have been passed on to you. And you're sitting there going, like, Why do I feel so out of control? I had a beautiful life, or why do I feel this way? And then infertility, just tacks on right, then it's just like another heavy burden. So it
becomes a very surreal experience, because infertility then is treated clinically. Now, that's an, of course, the clinical thing is really important. I had my babies through IVF, that is an amazing thing. The clinical thing is an amazing thing that for me, I was like, I can't bear the thought that what this mystical, magical, amazing thing, the creation of life gets dealt with just as a as a clinical procedure I was my soul just couldn't handle that. And that's what sort of started me on the other thing, because I remember go into the information evening at the clinic, and they showed us the hatch that was going to be used. And it just made me feel so awful. I think, you know, they were saying, Oh, this is so bio secure, it's wonderful. And to me, it's just like this is so miserable. This is the pathway through which my childhood into the world is for clinical. So I think that there is we are coming alive to the fact that our life experiences is more than that is more than procedures and processes that were there, we are so much bigger than that, that the whole kind of sense of institutions being shaken and institutions being broken down, and people finding their own power and their own connection to a bigger story. And I think that's really true in the infertility, you know, in a fertility journey, because I think that's where you can experience that really weird disconnect in terms of here you coming a mother entering into a new phase of your life, and it can just feel all wrong, that you it's then framed up in a clinical environment can feel really quite kind of worth to me it felt quite well. I've always had a phobia of hospitals anyway, but kind of almost violent in terms of that experience. And yes, indeed, in terms of past trauma, and all of that, that it again, it is a moment where you come into relationship with yourself where you come into relationship with your recent history where you come into a relationship with your family history and the ancestors, you see yourself in In a line of mothers, so there's a whole sense of a discovery of a different realm, in that journey towards motherhood. So I think there's, there's all of that in there, which doesn't get dealt with in the leaflet in the clinically.
And we're talking, you know, big steps, right, like the clinic leaflet doesn't even have let's talk about how emotional this time is for you physically, financially and emotionally. So diving deep into, let's say, past trauma, for working with maybe the spirits that are around you, you know, a lot of people are like, what's going on, including myself, I must have to say like, it's like the next step of the journey and being open to those things. I know I'm a quite spiritual person, I know that I'm really open to that. But I think it's once again, that whole society thing, or like, when you bring, bring it up to someone who might not be there, they make you feel weird, because you want to explore that. And it's definitely getting over that BS, because it's the same thing with the foods like for me, like I hate is the fact that when I went to a restaurant, I would have to tell waiters, like I can't like no tomato, and they like, what do you mean, even like tomatoes, like, No, I love tomato, I just can't eat it. And it was like getting over that pairing what other people thought, like you got to do, you got to do what you do, when and
I think also tune into you that my big thing is just that kind of turning the volume up on that voice in you. Because I think as you come into that, I say more and more that doing that work. As you come in towards that step of taking steps towards becoming a mother, you will become really aware of it's a primal thing, it does not necessarily come from your head, it comes from your heart, from your soul from your gut, it isn't because in many ways, it's not a rational thing at all. It's not rational. So you're already in a place in a deeper place, then than that, and as I say, you're already, you will already be shifting relationally with the ancestors, if we want to term it that way. Because you are stepping up to be the bearer of the next generation. So already, there will be something shifting in you. And I think that is why Infertility can be so devastating, because this is a mantle that you're taking on and yet, that's that's not happening. So they, there's something else going on for you there is big stuff in there, in terms of these transitional moments, speaking as a therapist, or transitional moments are those moments where you step out of where you were and what you know, you step out into this world, you know, that kind of liminal space a space between and that is a space where you are very raw and vulnerable. And it's also a space of great potential. So it is a space where your identity becomes more fluid, but also you you feel things very deeply. And therefore you may become aware of things that are around you. So in terms of feelings that you may have about these unresolved things. And that is a very common experience you will know from from talking with clients, very common things that come up either, you know, problems with other family within relationship within yourself. And having a sense of something's blocking me something's blocking me moving forward, what is that I'm not sure what that is, that's not a kind of rod to beat yourself up with, that's a kind of an opportunity to go, Okay, this I can take a look at this. And it's also an opportunity to as I say, for me anyway, and I think commonly, it's an opportunity to ask for help on a bigger scale.
Once you start cracking into those hard emotional feelings and letting them in, you really start to notice when you start self sabotaging yourself, where before you probably never noticed it. But when you really start connecting with yourself and knowing yourself and knowing your faults and your bad habits that you retreat to, when times get hard or overwhelming. It's really enlightening, to go with the flow and just go like alright, I'm just gonna take this one on the chin today because I can't handle it or you have enough emotional ability to go I see what I'm doing here and I'm going to change it I'm going to change this happens behaviour and it could be even little things like just talking to yourself and saying like I'm not good enough to be a mom or if I become a mom or all those things being able to shift those you know that language. I know for me that was like one of the first things I did was just shift that voice in my head that things are possible. They are doable. Just gotta believe in yourself and the ease. I think again, the fertility journey is really tough because come to realise that no one else is looking after you
Do you have to rely on yourself? You know, I hope that this isn't the experience for everybody. But I know it is very common experience. Because usually we think authority figures are out there, they're going to look after us, they're going to do the best for us. And they are good people, we're not saying they're not good people, but you may find that you are needing to advocate for yourself with the clinic, that you have to be your own. Like, say your own advocate, you have to look after yourself, you may find that people around, you aren't able to give you the support that you are looking for. And so that is a super tough element of it, that you can feel incredibly alone and unsupported. And that's why you need to absolutely be able to rely on yourself and absolutely know that those resources are in you in a different way that you then you would have done before any this is a kind of really deep was the sort of soul journey. This is a soul journey and your intuition. Your own sense is there for you. And we very rarely use it until we're faced with such challenges.
100% I mean, there was no no knowledge in my head about any of this, even in the first three years of my fertility journey was still very in the headlights just do what the doctors say do with the authority say they know, you know, there was literally social media was still an infant. I mean, I think maybe Facebook was just starting. And yeah, none of the doctors were were talking about this. And unfortunately, a lot of doctors still aren't. Tell us a little bit about the spirits that are around us. Are they usually people that we have a connection with? Or knew or could it be anyone, anyone? But like, Do you know what I mean? Is there yeah, there have flow with that
with the shamanic perspective is that, you know, we all can we are all family. And so the brilliant news is, because we've done with the bad news. Brilliant news is that you are surrounded by love and you are surrounded by football. But it's not necessarily something that you're going to sort of perceive with your brain, this isn't something that you're going to sort out with your brain, which for me was deeply frustrating, because of course, I you know, I was an academic that was my it was my head, that was how I was going to solve this problem. I was going to do loads of research, and then it's all be all right, and then you realise Oh, okay, not. So in terms of starting with and people do kind of find it's, it's all intuitive stuff, right? It's all stuff that we would do naturally. So we bring flowers into our home, to cheer us up and make us feel happy. And there's been loads of research, you know, empirical research that says flowers do make you feel happier, that do make you feel more positive. Now from a shamanic perspective, that is because the flowers are like, you know, vibrating, they have energy and they are giving you that energy and sharing their love with you. We have pets in our homes, to make us feel loved. And once again, from a shamanic perspective, animals are keen animals love us animals gave us love. The shamanic perspective is it all has spirit. So this isn't necessarily people, it'd be plants, crystals, animals, all of those kinds of things. So you can start to surround yourself even if you don't think of yourself as woowoo, you probably are already doing these kinds of practices in terms of having pictures of your ancestors around you. Most people do that naturally, intuitively in their homes, because they're, you're surrounded by the love of those people. So you've got the love of nature, and to go out and be in nature fills your soul restores your receive that loving energy from nature, water is a great place to release, distress into and fire all the elements who will kind of take that up. So that's one element of the of the spiritual journey. And that is, that's your kind of that's your entry level, which most people as I say, will naturally do so. Yes. So I do journey to my spirit guides and our journey for other people. So their spirit guides and we all have loving presences who and what blows me away is that they step forward to be our guides and they can be they may be more of the angelic realm. They may be people who have passed and again quite often I don't know if you had to cancel this. So quite often I hear people talking about when they're going through fertility journey they get visited a lot in their dreams by family members or people that they've known that that are there and to comfort them and welcome that because that's real those people are looking out for you and they're there for you. So that's kind of neat. I guess that's mid between our flowers and our visiting the angelic realm is in your dreams welcoming those the present, you know, those people who have passed and come to you but yes, you can journey and you can have our I, on my fertility journey was the first time that I did a shamanic journey. And it was completely mind blowing. Because I ended up I didn't realise it at the time. But I ended up seeing myself and seeing my three babies, I had triplets eventually, I didn't know that that was going to happen. But I saw three children. And I just took this as a good sign at the time. But of course, looking back, that's, that's what it was. So you can ask for information, you can ask for guidance, you can ask for healing. And you can get some really specific messages on what useful things that you can do formulate a question. And you can ask a question of the spirit realm. And there is so ready to give you an answer.
And so you have done a reading for me, and you did a reading for my husband. And one of the things that you made specific was that you you couldn't ask, how was it gonna turn out? Or what was it that you couldn't
create? So So spirit, of course, sees life differently to us. So there's a brilliant story, my teacher tells about someone who went to her and said, Should I marry this person? Should I marry him? And so she journeyed and spirit said, Yes, you should, um, same person got married to this person, they pack motors and absolute car crash. And that woman came back and said that you told me to get married and and so went back to spirit and then realise that actually spirits like, yeah, that was a brilliant experience, because you learned all about loss and distress. And, of course, we don't want that. So if you ask spirit, should I do something? The answer is usually going to be yes. Because Spirit sees this as an opportunity. We are here on earth to learn and grow. This is like Earth school. And we are learning here. So it is better to ask questions. There are ways to formulate questions, so that you can get some clearer answers rather than just it just a yes. Because we want to know a little bit more so we can make decisions, right? Yeah,
I asked him it's a journey for me when right when COVID started happening, we actually had an opportunity to buy a house. And but there was obviously a lot of questions in the air. And there still is because my husband works for Hawaiian Airlines. And obviously, the airline industry has just been blown up. So we asked, What does it look like to buy this house and Emma came back with some really good information or some, you know, a great journey. But there was one thing that Emma could not have known at all, like no one could have really known it was a very, like, personal thing between me and my husband. And through this difficult time of making a decision. We we kept joking, it will be okay. Because we'll have a barbecue, we can barbecue. And that's like kind of our thing, right? Like we lived in the UK for 14 years. We had a barbecue, we barbecue like five days out of the week, year round. We were like the crazy nerds out there in the cold that winter in Scotland, barbecuing. So when Emma said, I saw this image of a barbecue, I was like, oh yeah, we got to buy the house. Like, it doesn't matter if shit hits the fan while you're buying the same house.
What's so weird for me? What is weird for me in terms of journeying for other people is that I don't know what the message means, right? Because it's, it's a coded message from Spirit to you. And so I see the barbecue in the journey, because I kind of I see things information comes to me, I see things, I hear things. And I was like barbecue. That's really weird. But you know, so I learned now that I just say what I see, I just tell you what I see. And then that had real resonance. And it's, it's wild. But because I could give you so many examples of that, in terms of things are right on the button, because Spirit knows you, right? You are known that you are known and you are loved. And I think that's what's amazing about this journey is it tells you that you are seen and known and that click because I think in the fertility journey, especially you can feel like the universe is against you. And you can feel like there is no hope. But actually to know that it's going to be okay, you're you're being looked after you're being looked out for someone knows you so much knows your barbecue habits.
So I want to go back in my journey. There was a point I think even to my to IVF. So I was working with a load of women and someone got a hold of a psychic. I think she was a tarot card reader. And she was she had a very good reputation. And everyone started to go to her. And I think she was the real deal. And they're like you should go because they all knew I was dealing with infertility. And I wouldn't go because they're like, well, she doesn't tell you bad news. And I said, Well, what if she doesn't mention that I'm going to have kids or she sees kids in my future? I will take that as I won't have kids. And at that point, I was just starting my emotional mental journey and I was just like, I've just gained my hope back. Like, I don't want to go and get it squash. So what would you say to someone like me? Who has that fear that maybe, you know, because obviously, when you're dealing with infertility, and we want to bid messy the future, but like, it's some research surance? And then they're not they're like, What would you say to that?
Well, I suppose there's always the opportunity, and people do make contact with their children. So that's an amazing, so if you don't go you miss the opportunity of that, that is amazing. But that can't be guaranteed, of course. But I think my experience is that these are always messages of love. And they are always messages of support. And they always so many times now people have said to me, thank you so much, you know, this really has really helped me, I've never had someone who said, Oh, whenever they now feel worse, so I think that I think my feeling is, especially on a percentage as well, anything in life on life's journey, any help support comfort that you can get. I would, I think that's worth tapping into,
I think in terms of being fearful about not being a mother, that might be something that you journey with, you know, that fear, that sense of fear. And that sense of, I was just gonna say that is me being able to go back to myself, then I would have said, to me, her, this isn't about you becoming a mother or not becoming a mother, it's about you, growing into the mother, you're supposed to become whatever that looks like. And that whatever is going to be said, is only going to give you the comfort and the strength that you need to do you right now. Because when you're on this journey of the mental, emotional, physical diet, there is a wild roller coaster that you never get off. Like, once you get on your honour for life. The only way you're getting off of it is going back to old habits.
So it's amazing. And I think what we're talking about, you know, I think that there is a saying there is that connects potential to connect with your baby. And that's an amazing thing. And I on the fertility journey, someone I knew had got I made contact with them first through PayPal water McCutchin Is that how you pronounce it, and when he was still alive and still working, and at that point, I was like, Well, I'm not sure I'm gonna do that. But then my, my son since he was tiny, really tiny, too tiny to know, to kind of make this up really said to me that he chose me that he saw me from heaven, as he said, and he chose me, he gave a very specific, it's me or this woman in Italy. And so that he, there was a sort of presence and he was with me. So I think that I believe that I believe that that is available, and people certainly can make contact with that. And that can be an incredible thing. I need to make contact with your child before they hear you. incarnated if you like is an amazing thing. But again, I think that that is that's amazing. And that's like the cherry on the top of the cake. If you like that, actually that sense of making contact with all the support that is around you, knowing that you are loved and able to support yourself reassuring you that the choices you make are okay, because I think that's a big thing on the fertility journey. Am I doing the right thing? What should I do next? Have I done enough to have reassurance? Yeah, definitely.
You have an amazing project going on. Right now. Well, not right now. Because we're pre recording the episode that you're getting ready to and when this goes live, you will be just about starting or in the midst of it. Please tell us what amazing things you are bringing out into the world. So
I'm coming out in a big way. So you haven't even thought about it. I've noticed I'm like, Well, this is me anyway, I've kind of all or nothing kind of girl so I'm out there now. So it's called sessions with spirit. And it is it's a kind of don't tell her but it's kind of rip off of Oprah and Sunday, but in terms of recognising the spiritual aspects of fertility, and it's it's a series of conversations and support materials that really is going to dig into the bigger spiritual and emotional aspects of the fertility journey and we've got some amazing people who are part of it. Molly Nichols is going to be part of it and anti whites as part of it. Man is part of it. Jody, Skype, Rogers is part of it. One is part of it. So these are going to be golden conversations. I am really really looking forward to it because there's so much experience and so much wisdom there in terms of if you are feeling that there's perhaps some blocks that you want to work on. You want to develop this your kind of visualisation skills develop the connection with your intuition, Devon Blazers is going to be on it too in terms of man Investing in the law of attraction and fertility. So this is going to be brilliant in my face, I
myself, know I'm super excited for it, I will definitely 100% be there because this is part of my journey. Now these are like the next steps for me. So yeah, I'm really, really excited. There'll be links down in the show notes for everyone to register for that and get signed up. And it's free, right? This is a free event, a free live events. And then if you miss it, there's an opportunity to purchase all the episodes to have forever to rewatch and rewatch, because the thing that we both know is that it you need to do it again and again and again. And again,
to get good at it. That's the thing. And I always at these things, you kind of hear it. But you do need to revisit the material because I think to just process it. So yeah, and so this it will run from the second of August through to September. So it will be every Sunday. So it's a kind of regular check in
and sounds awesome. And tell our listeners where they can find you normally as well.
There's my website, which is averaging ski.com And then I'm also on Instagram as Dr. Enter Budzinski and on Facebook to more on Instagram and Facebook. So do come and find me
Yes 100% I love what you put out and I'm so excited that you are on this amazing venture and you're going to do amazing things and support a lot of women through this. Thank you so much for joining us once again here on finding fertility and we will see you soon. Thank you so much for listening to another episode of finding fertility remember you can find all the information and links down in the show notes. If you are loving the finding fertility podcast please leave us a rating and review over on iTunes. Let us know how we are supporting you through these difficult times. And also the rating and reviews help other women just like you to find the podcast and get the information that they need. I hope you have a beautiful weekend and a beautiful week. We will see you next Friday for another episode of the finding fertility podcast
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Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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