“If you’re dealing with fertility issues, you need time to heal.”
🦩 Release the control and allow yourself to heal.
🦩 Reframe your mindset about time and scheduling.
🦩 Stop controlling everything and reconnect with yourself.
If you’re in the middle of fertility treatments and are getting more frustrated by the lack of the results you want, maybe it’s time to get off. Maybe, it’s time to let go of the control and take time to heal.
In this episode of the Finding Fertility podcast, we talk about releasing the control you have on fertility treatments and allowing yourself to relax. I explain the importance of taking care of your physical health even as you shift your mindset.
Listen in to learn why you should stop being time conscious or trying to control everything and start living a more relaxed life to achieve your pregnancy goal.
Listen here: Do This Before Your Next Round of IVF or IUI!
🌺 Download your FREE Guide: Top 3 Steps to Maximise Your Fertility That Your Doctor Isn't Talking About
Hello beautiful and welcome to finding fertility. I'm your host, Monica Cox from finding fertility.co And I created this podcast to help get you to start thinking outside of the box and realise that your infertility might have nothing to do with your lady bits rooted in functional medicine and personal experience. Finding fertility is all about looking at the whole body and finding the root cause of your infertility. Finding fertility does not diagnose, prescribe or treat any issues of infertility. But what we do is take a holistic approach and improve your diet and your lifestyle to get you steps closer to creating your dream family. Just by being here with me listening to this podcast, you're already going down the right path to making your dreams come true. Let's do this together. Happy Friday,
all welcome back to another episode of finding fertility. I'm so grateful that you're here and spending your time with me and really putting in the effort to maximise your chances and empower yourself. Now, I hope you've been enjoying the podcast discovery calls. Like I said, it's one of my favourite things to do is really connect with people and help shine a light on some of you know, the missing paths that just aren't being taken. And one thing that's really been highlighted, I don't know if you guys have caught on to it. But um, it's this feeling of being time poor. And I know I mentioned it quite often. And I think it's one of the biggest issues during this journey, right? Like you are so consumed with the two week wait, and then two weeks leading up to ovulation. And then it's like every month, it's like counting down. It's not happening. It's not happening. It's not happening. And you guys know, I was there for years. And I know how soul crushing it is just not being able to achieve your ultimate goal. But the thing that I learned through my journey, and I didn't purposely do it, I wish I could sit here and say that I was some kind of amazing Yoda. And I just knew that I needed to be patient and not rush into things and everything would have unfold perfectly. It just wasn't how in my mind it was happening. But in the universe's realm, I guess they knew what they were doing. In the sense that we did take it really slow when it came to medical treatment. It's not something that we rushed into in the first place. It took us three years to even do our first round of IVF. And I do think that had to do a little bit with the bullshit that society puts on us that our age is like one of the biggest factors in our fertility journey, which it isn't Yes, it can be a factor in some cases, but it's just a factor. It's not the biggest factor. And because we were still working because I was still in my 20s. And I didn't do my first round, first round of IVF until I was 30. I think that kind of played a part, I'm pretty sure, especially with working with so many women in their late 30s and early 40s The pressure that is being put on them, because solely because of their age, and it's ridiculous and heartbreaking all at the same time. But um, when not failed. And you guys know if you've been with me for a while that, you know, they told us it was my eight quality there was nothing I can do about it just do another round of IVF. And I don't know why that didn't sit well with us. Probably because they weren't going to change anything. And it seems really ridiculous to do the same thing over again without trying at least something new, you know, even if it's the drug regime. But that made us pause. And because we had a friend going through his own personal health journey, nothing to do with fertility or even any kind of like real sickness. He was just like, deciding to get healthy. And we were like okay, we'll just Try this role, you know, we'll see what happens because they're not going to do anything in the medical field to change anything. So I guess we need to, you know, change things ourself and see what happens. And that was one of the best decisions we could have ever made. Because if we would have just jumped back into another round of IVF. And again, and again, I'm pretty confident that it would have never worked. Like I know, there's people out there that like, you know, do round after round after round, and they just get that one golden egg. But I just don't think with the hindsight that I have now that that would have been my story, I would have just had failed IVF again, and again and again. And with all these back to back treatments that I'm seeing these this, any discovery calls, and in my private one to ones and even within the community, the group coaching,
people are just being pressured to go again. And again. And because we have that lack mindset of time, it's like these decisions aren't made in a real rational way. We're like, Okay, well, next month, like, Okay, I just had a failed IVF, I'm just going to get my period back, and then I'm going to go in for another round or even IUI. And what we know now from a functional fertility standpoint, is that one, if you're dealing with fertility issues, we need time to heal. So that's just given right there. But when you're doing these medical treatments, no one is standing up and saying loud enough that these are really impactful on our whole body mentally, emotionally, physically, like, they're fucking hard. And especially when it fails, like that is such a mind trip. And for someone who has more failures than successes within medical treatment, so I did five medical treatments, and I have one live birth. And so like most of the time, society is going to ding those other ones as failures. But I know what failure feels like. And I know what failure feels like when you're when you feel like you're doing everything perfectly as well, you feel like you have the diet, you have the lifestyle, you're doing all the things that people are telling you and you're still failing. So when you're doing these back to back, you know, like one discovery call, it was like, what, seven IPs in two years, another discovery call nine IU eyes in a year and a half. And I just don't think women are realising because they're not getting the support they need from these clinics. And these clinics just think, Oh, well, it's no big deal, just keep going and going at least you're getting your period. And that's all they're basing it off of. And unfortunately, what I think is happening is that you're actually worsening your chances, like you are not giving you're not healing in the first place, you're not in a thriving mode to You're welcome your baby and grow this amazing human being already. And then the stress and the impact and the drugs and you know, maybe changing your diet and your lifestyle a little bit in the beginning and then slowly getting more into it. I just think, yeah, we're just doing a little bit more damage than we need to be doing during this time. And I really want to emphasise to anyone, two points, really. One, if this is you, if you're like Fuck, this is what I'm doing. I'm just jumping in again and again, you know, or like having a miscarriage and not giving your body time to rest and recover and just gaining your period back and then add it again, even if you're trying naturally. If this resonates with you, I want you to know that this is a normal thing to happen. And my honest best advice is to just sit down with yourself for a while and take some really deep breaths and get honest with yourself of is this serving me right now? Because when you do medical treatment and even when you're trying naturally with a diet and the supplement and the yoga and the the meditation like you're, you feel like you're controlling the situation. And sometimes we just need to sit back and release All that like tension, right? Like, if you really think about what you're doing is you're holding on so tight to something, and you're trying to control it. And it doesn't. Like Mother Nature can't be controlled, right? Like, think about going out into a storm and being like, I'm going to control you, you're the wind is going to go this way in the rain is going to go this way, Mother Nature's like, No, fuck you, Mitch, I'm going to do what I want. And so we need to really get honest with ourselves and take a dramatic step back. And just surrender. And let go of that type a control that type A doing. I know it's hard. I know, it's really hard. It's probably one of the hardest things I think people have to go through during this journey.
But I think it's really vital to your success, and give yourself time to breathe. And so what I've been really feeling and noticing with these discovery calls, and my clients and the group coaching, is that when you come to a place of surrender, and when you step into functional fertility, like true functional fertility, right, it's a mind body connection. So I definitely believe that the mind is so important. And you got to control that share. But we are physical beings on a physical Earth. So you have to be doing the physical things too, especially if you have a deep seated root cause. But when you surrender, and you show up to functional fertility, and you start empowering yourself, and you start making these big changes, you got to change the narrative in your head that this is now year one. And it's year one of trying to conceive because you are now going to be doing everything differently. In small dramatic ways. You are not going to be living the lifestyle that you have been through the first few years of your journey, you're not going to be you know, you've already probably changed up your diet. So that's going to be a huge improvement. Now you start digging into ways you can maximise your diet by eating liver. And you're not Most importantly though, you're not going to have this mindset of victim, you're not going to have this mindset of being time poor. You're not going to have this mindset of always having to be doing always having to be in control always going to be scheduling like Jesus Christ, the scheduling I did when I was going through IVF and working a full time job. It's just ridiculous. Like I look back now and go Yeah, no wonder it wasn't working. Because you were still trying to do everything. You were still trying to be the the wife, the caretaker, the house organiser, the cruise ship, no activity director. And then on top of that, you were now having the most amazing, perfect diet, but I takes a lot of time and effort. You're doing all these new things, but you're still living that old lifestyle, you're still in that like gogogo mentality and that lack mentality like, well, if I'm not doing I'm not worthy enough. So reframing reframing your mindset now of like, okay, I'm a new person, like I, I look back at who I was during that journey. And it's like a different person. Like, if I saw her and we were like, at a coffee shop and started chatting. I like would be like, Oh my gosh, I don't even want to hang out with you. That sounds awful. But not in over like super negative way. But you just would want to give her a big big hug and just be like, are really excited for your future. Because some dramatic changes are coming your way. And yes, I do believe it's going to get you your ultimate goal of that's the only thing you want right now. But believe me when I say that, there's so much more to that that's coming your way. And yeah, so I hope that helps anyone, even if you're just trying naturally even if you're just like going through this functional fertility phase of healing and just more reassurance that you are on the right path. If you are in the thick of metal cold treatment and you just feel like you're on this hamster wheel. This is your permission to get the fuck off. And really just start reconnecting with yourself. Remember, Joy is what we need to bring back into our lives right now I know it seems, it seems like how is joy going to improve my a quality, but you got to remember your whole body's connected. So when you're improving your mindset, your mental health, your emotions, when you're slowing down, when you're reprogramming when you're giving your adrenals arrest, when you're detoxifying your liver, when you're improving your gut help. All that is benefiting your a quality, it's improving your uterine lining, it's improving your hormone health. And these are all the things that we need to get and stay pregnant.
So I hope this helps a little rant about how we are not time poor, we're absolutely not time poor. You have all the time in the world. And I even say that to my 42 year old clients, you have time. We are not talking about trying to get pregnant in our 50s and 60s here 40s, the new 30 Anyways, so remember, it's cellular health over age, and you have the time. And actually you're going to gain more time when you stop trying to control the whole situation. So I hope that helped. And remember these podcasts discovery calls. If you want a free one, I will be doing more later in the year you can get on the email list, if you're not already to be first in line to sign up for that. And if you are like nope, ready for one now the link is down in the show notes to book a discovery call at your convenience. So have a beautiful weekend and we'll see you next week.
Unknown Speaker 17:05
Thank you once again for tuning in to the finding fertility podcast. If you're loving this podcast please leave us a rating in review and let us know how this podcast is supporting you to get steps closer to creating your dream family. I hope you have a beautiful weekend and we will see you next Friday for another episode of the finding fertility podcast.
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Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
🦩 Improve your egg quality
🦩 Reduce your chance of a miscarriage
🦩 Increase your chances of getting pregnant without drugs or expensive treatments