“People’s lives could dramatically change if they allow themselves to tap into these resources of health and wellness.”
🦩 Masculine vs. feminine energy in fertility journey.
🦩 Why male health is crucial in fertility and pregnancy health.
🦩 How we can transform other women’s lives through our fertility struggles.
How often in fertility health is the health of a man overlooked? The real root cause of infertility or recurring miscarriages might actually not be female-related but male-related instead.
In this episode of the Finding Fertility podcast, Monica speaks with Dr. Aumatma, a naturopathic doctor, nutritionist, and fertility expert. She specializes in women's health, is a sought-out speaker on topics related to Women’s Health and Empowerment, and supports couples through their fertility journeys.
Listen in to learn the importance of paying attention to male health in fertility as much as we do to female health. You will also learn how you can use your fertility struggles to transform and empower other women who come after you.
“The women that are struggling with fertility are these light-bearers that are going to bring in the consciousness that helps all of us become better.”
🌺 Download your FREE Guide: Top 3 Steps to Maximise Your Fertility That Your Doctor Isn't Talking About
Hello beautiful and welcome to finding fertility. I'm your host, Monica Cox from finding fertility.co And I created this podcast to help get you to start thinking outside of the box and realise that your infertility might have nothing to do with your lady bits rooted in functional medicine and personal experience. Finding fertility is all about looking at the whole body and finding the root cause of your infertility. Finding fertility does not diagnose, prescribe or treat any issues of infertility. But what we do is take a holistic approach and improve your diet and your lifestyle to get you steps closer to creating your dream family. Just by being here with me listening to this podcast, you're already going down the right path to making your dreams come true. Let's do this together. Happy Friday. Welcome back to another episode of finding fertility. I am here with Dr. Mike, I'm so excited to have you on the podcast because we've like been in and out of little things together. But it's really amazing to connect with you here. So welcome.
Likewise, thank you so much for having me.
Yeah. So tell us a little bit about yourself. Yeah,
so I'm a naturopathic doctor by training I've essentially means I went to medical school, but for natural medicine. And then I'm board certified in naturopathic endocrinology, which means fancy way to say natural hormone stuff. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Nice. And what made you want to get into this line of work in the first place?
Yeah, that's a great question. I was married to this man. This is in like, I had just turned 30. married to this man. And he wanted to start talking about having children. And we just got married a couple of months prior. And I was like, Oh, crap, I haven't really like thought about kids. And it was a little bit of a wake up moment for me because we had our own things emotionally happening in that relationship, even before we got married. And he kind of was using this children thing as a way to like, try to heal some of our emotional things that were happening. And I just like, anytime he talks about kids, my uterus just kept shrinking and shrivelling up and I was just like, No, I don't know what's happening. But no. And luckily, I did not get married, get have children with him, thank God. But it did really like, send me into the journey to find fertility answers. Because if it was really the question of like, do I leave him if he's not the right person? Do I want to have children because I want to have children? Or do I wait till I find the right person, which might be when I'm 4045, whatever. So I didn't know like what the future held. But I didn't know that for me, like, the intuition piece was so important. And my body was just saying absolutely not like this is a really bad idea. So I started researching fertility, mostly for myself to kind of like, put to rest this idea that I had learned in medical school that fertility was going to massively drop off drop off of the cliff at 35. And that's what I was taught. That's what I believed. And I was like, Is it true? And if it's true, then is there something that I can be doing naturally to support my fertility so that if I don't meet the right person right away, that I'll be okay, and that I can someday have a child. So, I went down this like nine month rabbit hole is what it felt like, and came out on the other side, like really clear that I wasn't going to have a child with that man, and that we needed to separate because if I wasn't wanting to have children with him, what the hell was I doing and why did we get married? And then simultaneously, just starting to talk about it with other women and people were like, Wait, your fertility doesn't decline at 35? What are you talking about? Like, tell me more, you know, so I just get into these conversations with my friends and colleagues and whatever and talking about the research that I was finding. And out of that really stemmed people just coming and saying, Hey, maybe you could help me. I heard you on this podcast, or I heard you in this interview. You. And mostly it was like I was sharing what I was learning as I was learning it. And suddenly, like, people were coming to me like, Hey, you can help me. And I was like, Oh no, this is all theory. Like, I've never done this. So my first few clients, I was definitely like, yeah, no, you don't want to go with me. And they and, and of course, like telling them to listen to their intuition and come back if it was really true that I needed to be helping them. And sure enough, one of those people came back, and then another one, and then another one that I was like, suddenly, like, just that was all I was doing. And, and it's been such a, like, such an awesome blessing in so many ways. Because they have taught me like all of the clients that I've worked with have, like, I see myself in them. And I see, like, oh, yeah, I have the same perfectionist tendencies, or I have, like, the control freak tendencies, or like, yeah, like I resonate with so much of it, like, the masculine energy, that is literally what brought me into the fertility world was the man that I was married to, really had.
kind of been so he was sort of feminine already when we met. But the more time we had spent together, and we had spent a lot of years in that relationship. And by the end of it, like I was super masculine, and I kept emasculating him. So that whole, like, feminine, masculine dynamic had come. So up to the surface that it felt natural for me to like play in that mode until I snapped out of it. And I was like, What the hell did I do? So it took me like so many years to retrain my body, my mind, my spirit, like all of it on so many different levels to be a better support person for the couples that I was working with, and to really like, do my own work in this process, because if our clients are the reflection of us, which I do believe, then they're constantly showing me what I need to be working on for myself, on a natural level.
Oh, absolutely. I do think I mean, for me, obviously, I'm not a doctor. And I do get surprised by some of my clients that come to me because they are working with functional medicine doctors are ready. And I'm kind of like, well, what am I gonna give you, right? Like the whole ego. And as you work with them, you kind of understand like, me, and I need you. Like, we're supposed to be doing this together, because you always give me something as much as I give you something. And I think it's that personal experience that can't be bought, right? Like your medical degree, you buy it, basically. And you work hard for it through sheer studying whatnot, but you cannot. And you probably wouldn't want to go through the journeys that we've been through to get that personal experience. And it just gives you this cutting edge with your clients. And you can really, yeah, it just everything kind of falls into line, doesn't it?
Yeah. Yeah. It's so it's like, so powerful and beautiful when you're in partnership with your client. And the it's not like, Oh, I know everything and you're like, I'm teaching you, but I'm in this with you. And I mean, I'll be trying to get pregnant. But those themes and those like reflections, even if they're on a low level, they're repeating in my own life in some way. Until we my clients like hey, you need to get better sleep and look it up myself. Like, yeah, I probably should get better sleep too.
Yeah, exactly. And just to like, do the cliffnotes of your journey. You are remarried with a beautiful boy, right?
I am. Yes. Yes. So I the funny part of that story is I got the divorce and literally three weeks later met the love of my life. He within three weeks was like, I know we're supposed to be together. I know that you're the right person for me, we can get married. And and I see that you are very much like he didn't use the word masculine, but he's like you have no space in your life for me. So when you're ready, give me a call. I was like, Whoa, who is this man and he Like holds that masculine energy so strongly that I don't feel like I need to step into that. So, yes, I have to, to a certain extent in my business, but even there, I'm like, How can I do this in a feminine way? How can I not hustle and not grind and not doo, doo doo doo doo doo, but really, like, be in my power, and allow the right people to come to me. So it's allowed me to really like, take a different approach, because I have the strong masculine energy in my life to always reflect me back to like, hey, you need to slow down. Hey, what did you do for yourself today? Hey, did you have some food? Like, and this is, this is him all the time. And he I'm sure he doesn't really resonate with the word masculine. But that's the energy that I think most men have naturally and they're trying to, like, help us be in our feminine, but are we letting them and in my, my previous relationship, I know that I wasn't letting him right. So the more he tried, the more I was like emasculating him to a certain extent. And that was leading to so many of our problems. So yeah, like this masculine feminine energy. I just am like, I feel like so much of it is important on the fertility journey, because fertility is that outpouring of our feminine energy manifests in a child.
Yeah, yeah. Where do you think all the masculine energy came from?
For me? It was, it was probably like a culmination of a lot of things. I feel like I've relied on it my whole life really, to, you know, to go through undergrad and then get into medical school go through medical school. It's like a constant doo doo, doo doo doo doo. And there is no other, at least in my family, there was no other template. Like, what do you mean, you're not going to college? What do you mean, you're not going to medical school? So it was there was never really a choice to do anything different. And I like in retrospect, now. It's like, it's such such an ingrained part of me that it takes effort to be like, Oh, right. Let's turn that off. was slow down. Let's like, take a moment or chill for a little while. Have some downtime. Like what is that even mean? Yeah. So yeah, it's, it's, uh, like, I feel like it's a work in progress still.
Yeah. It's just that culture, isn't it? I think a lot of us, you know, older millennium, Gen Xers just got brought up in the grind. Right? Like, your parents wanted better for us. So therefore, they wanted you to go to college, be the doctor be the lawyer, or, like, my, my family was more working class. And education wasn't top priority. But work you worked, right? Like, you know, like, I have this debate with my mom cuz she always says, like, well, I taught you how to work. I was like, No, you taught me how to sweep dirt in a lumber yard for self worth. Like, I love you, and they have built a beautiful business and beautiful family run business down here in Southern California, but like work was your worthiness, right? And I think whether it was like work or college, they wanted that that's where your worthiness was and not just in yourself, right? Like, if you achieve those external things, like becoming a doctor, a millionaire or, you know, whatever the successful thing is, like, what does that mean? If you've run yourself into the ground, and you don't actually love your life? Yeah. And I think a lot of our clients are very much you know, entrepreneurs, they're, you know, working, you know, maybe put career first or have done a high level of studies and they come to us so like, Oh, my facilities fucked up and we're like, Well, yeah, because you've literally run down your adrenals your thyroid is not working well you're not sleeping well your your gut is all over the place. So therefore your hormones are all over the place. And it's and we could just relate to it because we did it well for me like I did it myself and you probably got smart before you tried for your kid but you were there Right?
Yeah, I yeah, I entered medically, I was totally there. And had I tried at that time, I probably could not have gotten pregnant. Like I reflect back on it now, I was exhausted working 80 hour weeks. Not sleeping, not feeling good. I like, I had so many bags under my eyes, I still do. But at least they're not as thick as they used to be. And like, I actually felt like 15 years older than I am now. So my hormones were a mess. Periods are a hot mess. Like, my whole life was reflecting to me that so much was out of alignment. But it it took like a really strong question of like, do I want to have this child and and then like, pausing to actually listen to my intuition. And being like, God, no, like no, most definitely not. But was like a little bit of that initial spark that really like, has had me turned my life around. And thank god like, Oh, my God. You couldn't pay me to go back to that person.
Yeah, yeah. Even though there's always glimpses of them, and you have to like, check yourself, you definitely look back and go, like, how was I even survive, you know, you're just in survival mode, right? You're not surviving. And a lot of people don't listen to their intuition. And do feel like they're with the right person, but they're still doing the grind, they still think they can work those 50 hour work weeks and just eat an organic diet and everything will be alright. But we both know, from experience, and practice and study that a lot of the times those things just don't go together. And even if you get to a point of getting pregnant, you've seen pregnant is a big issue for a lot of women nowadays. Do you want to go a little bit into what you see in your practice?
Yeah, so statistically, it said that it's normal, that one in three women, and for those of you that are not seeing this, I'm putting air quotes around this normal, one in three pregnancies will end in a loss. So 1/3 of pregnancies are not expected to survive. Which to me, like when I first heard that stat, I was like, that's really, really high for something that our bodies designed to do. Yeah, so that gave me a pause initially. And then so many of our clients have had came to me because they had had recurrent pregnancy loss. And for me, I was like, well, let's put the pieces together and really try to understand why this loss keeps happening. And can we actually get you to a point where I can feel comfortable that your next pregnancy is not going to end at a loss. And I can like somehow, statistically predict that so that I can like, give you the green light before you actually get pregnant and have it just go really well. So that's kind of where I started out. And there were a few patterns that kept repeating. One is everything that we've been talking about. So all of the fertility related stuff, when it comes to women kind of being more masculine than feminine in their energies, being more controlling, etc. Those, all of those things apply still. But for me, there were a few missing pieces that were on the male side. So I started like, I just chose a bunch of tests for guys to do and these are blood tests, not semen analysis. Most of their semen analysis are always normal most of the time. So they have these normal semen analysis, but the woman's had pregnancy losses. And I'm like, well, your hormones aren't that off there a little bit. So yes, we can, like do some tweaking. But let's like we run these like extensive hormone panels on women. Why aren't we testing the guy? So I just started testing them out of curiosity. And there were two, three themes really, in almost every man that had hot was in a partnership with a woman who had had recurrent pregnancy loss. And those things were either he had high blood sugar, high homocysteine levels, Are both and inflammation and inflammation, that's just a generic thing. So, out of those three, I could almost always guarantee that one of those was going to be positive. And if we worked on it, we retested him, and it came out that there was improvement. And it was in the optimal range, we were gonna get a different outcome for the female. So this is 10 years ago, 12 years ago. Now the research actually exists, and all of this is proven. So I'm not a crazy, whoo, doctor. But at the time, it was really like, I was the solo doctor out here testing men and being like, Oh, your blood sugar is high. That's why your woman's having a pregnancy loss. Most of them were like, where's the research doc, like, show me some studies and I'm like, they don't exist, let's just pretend that they exist. And go with me. And like optimising their underlying stuff, in addition to making sure that they have really good sperm almost always has, like, if those issues were present, they were gonna get a different outcome guaranteed. And that has been true for like 100%, I can say for anyone that had had a pregnancy loss before. We saw that there was an issue with the guy we addressed it optimises health and then let let them go try again and get pregnant. They went on to have healthy pregnancy. So it this I think I finally found the studies about three years ago. There's now studies that say hyperhomocysteinemia in the man causes recurrent pregnancy loss.
Same with blood sugar, high haemoglobin, Awan sea levels, haemoglobin e when sea levels cause pregnancy loss in the female. And I was like, huh, I was onto this, like years ago, right. But at the time, there wasn't any research. I was just seeing the patterns. And I was like, surely what we know in functional medicine is if the body is not optimal, it's doing something in sure the sperm look great. So what, like, let's pretend the sperm don't matter, or that there's actually something not being measured in the sperm. That is passing through the DNA and creating some sort of epigenetic change in the embryo. And that's going to make a difference. And, like, honestly, I was just going out in faith on like, functional medicine face of like, optimising has to get me there. Yeah. Okay, yeah, no, I was just gonna say, and it's just, it's just amazing that it's that simple to a certain extent, right? It's like, yes, we still are not saying like, we ignored the women in these cases, and we didn't like go and find out if they have food sensitivities, or heal their gut or their adrenals. Or we did all of the things that we would do for the woman. Yeah. But additionally, I feel like this, the male piece of it is the make it or break it. It's going to, even in an optimised female optimised hormones, everything looks amazing. I still wouldn't be as sure that she's gonna go on and have a healthy baby if we hadn't worked on the guy stuff.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. I mean, I think that's so important. Because, you know, my husband was tested fine. And when I had to change up my diet, he had to as well, like, I didn't really care that he was fine. It was just more of the support and in the household. And I mean, many things changed dramatically for both him and I when we started optimising our diet. And when he had to get retested for another round of IVF, his sperm improved by the millions. Right. And even though, I was solely blamed for having low a quality, and that's why we made poor embryos, our first round of IVF. You know, and now in hindsight, it was like, well, it was it was probably both of us. Absolutely. And would you agree that the levels of sperm are pretty low to the fine, right, like, I'm not sure if they were, how long they've been testing men's sperm. But it'd be really interesting to see the test results from 200 years ago to 100 years to 50 years 10 out? Because I would. And I would say most doctors can't deny this. It's on the decline.
Yes. So we don't have stats from 200 years ago, or maybe I haven't looked that far back. But definitely 75 years ago, the norm was 120 million sperm in an ejaculate with 12% normal morphology, that was the expectation of normal. Now, and these are always like, normal is always changing, because they just take a random sample size, and then like extrapolate it to the whole population. So that was normal 75 years ago. Now, it's 20,000,004% morphology. So that's a dramatic decline. And, like, Sure, IVF kind of bypasses the need for amazing sperm. But I would still assert that the sperm are a reflection of deeper things, just as much as hormones are a reflection of deeper things in women. So like, I just don't understand how we can ignore 50% of the equation, when that 50% is showing such a dramatic decline in what's considered normal. If we keep going on this track, it's the trajectory is in 20 years men will be there, they will not have any sperm. Yeah, in 20 years. So this is like around the corner. This isn't like, hey, it's gonna happen someday. One day, maybe this is like, if we stay on this course. We are likely to have reality Handmaid's Tale.
Yeah. Yeah, that's fucked up. I mean, this is why I talk so much about epigenetics, right, like, and how, yeah, IVF is a great tool. It's a great resource, and even IUI for those who absolutely need it. But unfortunately, the literally the whole fertility zone has, you know, if you're having issues, here you go, just go do IUI. Just go do IVF. And there's little focus. And I would say many people only go to health and wellness, because they are having it's not working right. IUI is not working IVF is not working. I know this was my case, like I'm like not calling the kettle black, right? Like, I didn't go to that, because I didn't know and I was desperate. And luckily, I followed my intuition when the IVF doctor said, There's nothing you can do just try another round. And we were just like, that sounds like a little bit of madness, right? We're gonna throw 10s of 1000s of dollars at doing the same thing. Um, no. And it wasn't like, No, we're gonna go try this health and wellness stuff. It was just like, No, we're not going to try IVF again. And then luckily, you know, our story unfolded a different way. But um,
isn't it? It's easy. I think it's the I'm, I'm Stein said doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result is essentially the definition of madness. Yeah. Yeah. And, like, so great that your intuition was like, something about that aid, right? Like, I don't know what it is, I don't know what I'm gonna do instead. But
yeah, I do these podcasts, Discovery calls where my community can come on to the podcast, and knollmann, anonymously. And one of the first ones was a woman who did six rounds of IVF, just in two years. And, you know, she was conscious of diet and lifestyle changes, but for whatever reason, you know, no judgement just was not done properly, or whatnot. But it honestly breaks my heart, because they, I really do believe, and I don't think anyone's doing this on purpose. But people are really genuinely getting their lives ripped out of their hands because they're not given the right information for them. You know, and a lot of the times we don't know how to follow our intuition, or maybe something is put in front of us, but we don't, you know, like we just don't have that right guidance for whatever it is, but people's lives could dramatically change if they allowed themselves to tap into these resources of health and wellness.
You Yeah, yeah. On both sides,
men and women. Yeah, absolutely. Not only did my husband's sperm improved by the millions, but his cognitive level, he was a fast jet pilot in the Royal Air Force. So he was already very high achieving, but he was also borderline narcolepsy was like, and doing these diet changes, it allowed him to have the capacity to become a red arrow, which is one of the elite acrobatic display team over there. And I always say to that, him, I was like, our infertility got you that because it made us change certain things. And you were just able to function at a higher level.
Yeah, yes. It is. I feel like everything that we do with fertility does help men and women, like up level, play a bigger game, play a different play the game differently, not only to conceive, but really like the consciousness that it's creating the shift for, to be able to just, like, have the dream life in so many ways.
Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I mean, when I first started doing this, um, when I got pregnant, naturally, that was kind of my wake up call, like, Kay, you, you have to go share this message. But through the years, it's really shifted from just getting women pregnant, to be coming conscious mothers, because our world is going to look dramatically different in 15 years time, and you know, our offspring is going to have to handle it. And if we're not giving them the tools, then it's gonna even be more of a shit show. Right? There's got to be some some of us holding the light.
Absolutely. And I feel like the the women that are struggling with fertility, are these light bearers that are going to bring in the consciousness that helps all of us become better. Yeah, it's so woowoo, but I love it. It is woowoo. And like, I know, I feel like we can talk. We could go there we go there with other people. But we can totally go there. Because yeah, it's just it's really beautiful. And I think that you probably get this question, I get this question a lot of like, why am I like, Why me? And like, part of me is like, wants to just be like, why not? You like, Yeah, I know, this is hard. And I know this sucks. But the opportunity that comes out of it is going to be really empowering. And like, if, if this goes beyond just conceiving and having a child, if there's, like, permeates into your life into your consciousness and creates the transformation that's possible for you, your life is going to be magnanimous. Because that's, I feel like that's been true. For me. That's been true for so many of my clients who to this day are like, Oh, we're having baby number two, no problem. And this is women that have told been told, you'll forever need you'll need an egg donor, even before baby number one, right? So it's, yes. Children, yes, we want to like help with fertility, but I love that you are also on this mission to like, help us transform and elevate because I think that is the calling of our time.
Yeah, go to going into the golden age. And I think it's important, I always remind people, you know, the, it's all connected, you know, like, the mental and emotional is so important. But the we are physical beings on a physical Earth. So you have to do the physical thing. Do you know, sometimes you have to dig really deep to find some structural issues or something that's like manifested into an issue that needs medical assistance, right? Like, I think that's where some people go astray with the whole mindset stuff, because I couldn't positively think my way into getting pregnant. And we're going to take a break and leave you in suspense for next week, because we just had such an amazing conversation that we just let time go. And it was just a little bit too long to fit into one podcast episode. So tune in next week for the second half of Dr. Maas conversation about miscarriage spirit babies IVF and how you can improve your situation. Thank you once again for tuning in to the finding fertility podcast if you You're loving this podcast. Please leave us a rating and review and let us know how this podcast is supporting you to get steps closer to creating your dream family. I hope you have a beautiful weekend and we will see you next Friday for another episode of the finding fertility podcast.
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Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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