“You’re genetically prone to things and they’re happening because of all your lifestyle factors, even your childhood has added up to this.”
🦩 Fix your mindset as you fix the physical things.
🦩 The challenges of maintaining a pregnancy after the first miscarriage.
🦩 Give yourself time in between IVF treatments.
Have you taken the time to heal physically and improve your mindset before going in for an IVF? When considering trying for a baby, it’s important to fix your mindset as much as you fix physical things to increase your chances of a successful pregnancy.
In this episode of the Finding Fertility podcast, Monica speaks with Dr. Aumatma, a naturopathic doctor, nutritionist, and fertility expert. She specializes in women's health, is a sought-out speaker on topics related to Women’s Health and Empowerment, and supports couples through their fertility journeys.
Listen in to learn why you need to know the underlying factors likely to cause a miscarriage sooner to avoid it being a recurring thing. You will also learn why you need to wait in between IVF treatments to increase your chances of getting pregnant.
“If you don’t have support in this process, it makes it so much more difficult to sustain a pregnancy after the first loss.”
🌺 Download your FREE Guide: Top 3 Steps to Maximise Your Fertility That Your Doctor Isn't Talking About
Hello beautiful and welcome to finding fertility. I'm your host, Monica Cox from finding fertility.co And I created this podcast to help get you to start thinking outside of the box and realise that your infertility might have nothing to do with your lady bits rooted in functional medicine and personal experience. Finding fertility is all about looking at the whole body and finding the root cause of your infertility. Finding fertility does not diagnose, prescribe or treat any issues of infertility. But what we do is take a holistic approach and improve your diet and your lifestyle to get you steps closer to creating your dream family. Just by being here with me listening to this podcast, you're already going down the right path to making your dreams come true. Let's do this together. Happy Friday. Oh, welcome back to the second half of Dr. Maas. Amazing conversation, I had such an amazing time just talking to her. And I'm just gonna say amazing one more time. Because this is what I absolutely love to do is talk to like minded people, and really get the message of functional fertility out there. So without further ado, let's get to the second half of Dr. Mama's podcast episode, you know, I had to dramatically change my diet to change my lifestyle, to SLOW THE FUCK DOWN to do all those things to even make healthy eggs, right, like IVF would have never worked for me. So, but once you bring in that mindset stuff, and really shift why you're doing these things? It does and it opens up a life that you only dare to dream of. Right? And we talked about earlier today, you know, you would never say no to being put into a room of mega billionaires. Right? Absolutely not. Even if you didn't want to be a mega billionaire, you would just want to be surrounded by, you know what makes them function. And sometimes you walk in and be like, Nah, I don't like that. And then at least you know, but I think opening our consciousness and just being around people who are willing to do it hard things right. It's hard. And yeah, like it's so cliche and I know people hate like everything happens for reason are the stronger are like all that bullshit. But unfortunately, it's true. Like she walked through fire, you get to look back and go, I get it. And sometimes you have to keep walking like for me my journey was so long. And I was like, Okay, I get it. Like I get it. It's like oh another miscarriage. Okay, like I guess I have to go through this and I'm staying on the woowoo side of things and miscarriages. Are you a big believer in like spirit babies and children coming to you at the right time?
Hmm, I am. I am. I do think that there is the like, essentially that the baby chose us. Right? It chose us as the parents to come through. And there is there I've talked to some super rude people who believe that even nausea which we have just come to believe as expected in pregnancy. They believe on the spiritual plane. It's like the the spirit like leaving the womb and a different spirit popping in and they're doing this like dance to try and figure out who's the right spirit to come. Whoa, crazy. Whoo, whoo
Yeah, that's pretty crazy. And to think about, like, if that's true, and and then I like reflect back through all the clients that we've worked with. And the there are so many of them that don't have nausea. And partly, I think it's physical. The doctors side of it is like, Oh, you got your nutrients. But the woowoo side of me is like we did so much energy healing stuff, that I I'm not necessarily like intentional about but I do believe that we, as we're doing the energy healing and the work around this, that couple is creating a stronger energy field as they're doing the work. So then as the baby comes, baby spirit comes in, it's like, it's going to click into place faster, because the couple is really clear on, like, Who is this being that we're calling forth? Right? Like, I think you do this to like, we have our clients doing vision boards and stuff like that, to really create the vision of what does this look like? And not just that you have a baby on your vision board? But really, like, feel it in your body? Like, what is it like to be a parent? What is it like to be a mother or a father? And what does your life look like? Does it look like it does now? Or is there a discord? And once they're already like doing and thinking about these shifts? It's a lot easier for spirit to be like, Oh, yep, that's me. Like, yes, I totally like this is super clear, I resonate, boom, yeah, versus the couple that's kind of all over the place. And that hasn't necessarily, and this is not no fault of theirs. But hasn't necessarily, like, fully landed in their purpose in their truth in their energies. They're gonna have a different experience. So I don't know if this movie thing is true. But maybe,
yeah, I mean, I think people like might not resonate with some of that, because they will be like, Well, what about the alcoholic or the drug addict, or my sister in law's a mega bitch, right? Like, she's not spiritually in line with a kid. And like, what I say to that is, it's, it's not about that. Right? Like, so you are genetically prone to things. And they're happening because of all your lifestyle factors. It even your childhood has added up to this like, right, I was infertile at like, 17, I had major stomach issues, not knowing it really, really early on. But what I say is, when you are fixing those physical aspects that you need to fix to get pregnant in the first place, if you allow that mindset work to start, then you're going to break a lot of generational trauma. And when you have your little amazing children, and when they trigger you, because I don't care what spiritual level you are on there,
they're here to test you. They're here to help you grow.
You're just better able to see the the triggers to note like, you know, my youngest son is a spirit of me. And I didn't realise why his crying was so impactful for me like, right, I fought so hard to get this child, and like, He's driving me fucking mad. And because I was open, and I was already on my spiritual journey, and it's just like, well, that's the, that's the emotions that your parents felt about you that's inside you still. So you still have to release it. And it was so just kind of like, like, heartbreaking, you know, at the same time, but yeah, it's just, the more you the more work you do now, physically and mentally, the better you are to help and support your children and yourself through the journey, you're going to walk with them. For sure. Yeah. And I think, you know, like, both of my boys are rainbow babies. And it's very bittersweet to know that they were supposed to be here. Right? And
yeah, and I think to add to that spiritual wounds, the other piece of potential pregnancy losses, is that those spirit babies actually have very short contracts with you. So this idea of a sacred contract, and you have a contract with every person that's still in your life. So, obviously, you have a contract with the child and that baby that potentially like didn't make it into the physical universe with with you potentially had a really short contract and there was something that needed to be healed between the two of you that have Been through the pregnancy loss. So there there is this like, like, I believe that I don't know everything happening on the spiritual plane. But I do believe that sometimes these things that are occurring are, like spiritually aligned to occur. And they're, they're just like an offering of the Spirit to come to you for a short period of time to like help you heal some small little thing. And then they're like, oh, great, my work is done. Thank you goodbye. And that can be hard on our physical plane. But on the spiritual plane, it's not that hard. They're like, yeah, I'll see you.
I'll see you again, again. Yeah, on the physical plane, it can be extremely hard mentally, physically, emotionally. And that's where I feel like the support of someone who knows the ins and outs on both sides is crucial. And so if you are going through, you know, miscarriage after miscarriage, you're not getting the support. I know a lot of doctors out there like, just have three and then we'll start doing the testing. What's your advice? If someone has even had one miscarriage? Or more than that? What is kind of your first steps that you would say on a physical aspect that they need to walk through if they don't have their answers yet?
Yeah. I think it's really that, like, start digging right away. Right? There are so many physical reasons. I know I highlighted a kind of focusing on the men today. But on the female side, there's evidence that bacteria, certain bacteria in the uterus can make you more prone to have a healthy pregnancy or miscarriage. There are inflammatory markers in your gut that make your uterus more inflamed, that makes it likelier for you to have a miscarriage. So there are just so many things that often we don't think about, or or even like, know about, it's not on our radar, right? Like, there's so many underlying factors that could be going on. So, so much sooner than the conventional workup of, do I have factor five liadan? Or is there a autoimmune component even that you can test sooner, but really, like getting into potential underlying causes? After the first loss, like why would anybody want to wait for three losses like that is, I think it's the dumbest thing ever, for doctors to think, oh, it's normal. Just go and have a prank go get pregnant again. And like so many women are given this advice, they do it, they have another loss. And now you've got two. So by the time you have two losses, you're freaked out, your body is definitely freaked out. And the amount of trauma that you went through in the first loss, and then again, in the second loss, it's getting stored in your body. So now if you get pregnant a third time, you can almost guarantee a loss, because that trauma is getting re triggered. And you're freaking the fuck out. You're like, oh my god, it's gonna happen again. It's gonna happen again. And I've seen this with all of my clients, they freak out. They're like, Oh, my God, amazing. I got pregnant and then within a week, they're calling me like, oh my god, it's gonna happen again. I'm having dreams of this. I'm having and, and luckily, like, I when I first started working with couples, I didn't have all of the Mind Body tools that I have now. So now we just I just, like, know that it's gonna come so he, like, anticipate it and clear it before they even get pregnant. So they're not having that intense of a freakout, but they're still gonna freak out. Because intellectually, you're still like, oh, is this gonna? Is this okay? Am I still pregnant? Am I still like you're micro analysing every single symptom, because now you're like on hyper alert, right? And the amount of cortisol that's just being released because you're at this heightened level of fight or flight is not helping that pregnancy. So, if you don't have support in this process, it makes it so much more difficult to sustain a pregnancy after the first loss. It's Like, there's just so many things working against us at that point that it just makes it so much, so much more challenging. And I'm sort of like reliving my pregnancy because I don't know why I have in, embodied and like, took on so much of my clients traumas because the minute I got pregnant, I was having, like, a 10x reaction to something that did not make any sense. I was like, I'm pregnant, I should be happy. But I like I could feel all of the trauma that my clients had been through. And for the first five months, I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant. I was like, shaking with fear. I was doing all of my mind body tools. I was meditating, I was doing everything that I could possibly do. And I was still in that like, intense fear state without any previous trauma. And I was like, I know that this is not logical. I know that this is like, stuff that I've just like, taken away from other people. But it was like such a lived experience. Like if women feel even a 10th of this. This is intense. Yeah.
It's, it's really, really huge. And that's a huge thing. When people come to me having reoccurring miscarriages when we first talk about have we processed the miscarriages yet? Because I know I did it. It was just like, I'm fine. I'm fine. You know, like, just get on with life, you know, all those types of things. And yeah, it stores and when you get pregnant after that, my last miscarriage I was pregnant two months after that naturally, and it took all my strength not to freak out. And I ended up having like a massive bleed at nine weeks as well. So like, that wasn't fucking fun. But yeah, you got to deal with it. You got to be real with yourself. And if you've got the support through the emotional, and then it's the conversation that doesn't want, they don't want to have but it's important conversation to have when you're using functional medicine. Are you prepared to stop trying? For a few months? Because your body is already on the like, like the balancing act, right? It can get pregnant, but it can't stay pregnant. We're gonna move you closer to staying pregnant, but no one can tell you when that flip is switched, right? Unless you're like doing the functional testing, and you're seeing things improve. So it's like, are you able to stop until we you know, three months, six months until we optimise everything, because the risk is pretty high still in the first few months of having another recurrent miscarriage another miscarriage? Yeah. And it's a hard thing to, you know, say. But it's a very important question to be had.
It's so important. And even if someone hasn't had a pregnancy loss, we suggest waiting. We're like, listen, it hasn't happened for this long, like waiting three months, four months more is not going to make it or break it. It's going to be okay. And a lot of them are like, but I'm going to be four months older, like, and probably your ovaries are going to be four years younger.
Oh my god, I'm just so pissed off at society and the way the fertility culture has literally scared the shit. It is like Freddy Cougar of like, you know, like age, and I'm just sitting there going, like, I was 27 and I couldn't get fucking pregnant. I was 30 I couldn't get pregnant with IVF I got pregnant naturally at 36. Like, it's not your fucking age. It's your cellular health, please. You've known this for like decades, right?
I think I think it's just like, we kind of like, we know this, I think. I think we all know this. It's our own body wisdom. We know, like, and I'm gonna say this and then completely regret it. But we know that we have felt healthier sometimes later in life than earlier. Like, a lot of times clients will look back and be like, Oh my god, like 20 was terrible. Like I did not feel good at 20 or 25 or 30. So there are there is evidence that we're not in our optimal Most states, if we're listening, and if we're able to slow down and just like, kind of like slow down to speed up, you know what I mean? Like the few months that you invest in pausing, is going to, like dramatically give you an ROI that is 10x 50x. I can't put a number on it, but like a lot of x a
lot of x, maybe I would have had the support at the beginning my journey, I think my journey would have taken six months to a year to heal. Instead, it took me eight years to get pregnant naturally. Yeah.
And it's it's an it's amazing that you were like, You stuck to it, and you figured it out. But you guys, you don't have to do this on your own. Yeah, like, back when you were going through this? You kind of did like, yeah, and that many people that were like, yeah, I hope you like it.
I was lucky that I was 27 and had the time, right? If I was 37, and showed up this way, it would have been a different story. Really, you know? But yeah, it's you just you can, I don't know, like what words like what fucking marketing technique to tell women, that you literally will save yourself time, money and heartache. Even if you go with the most expensive functional fertility doctor, do all the testing, you still won't spend as much money if you do round and round a round of IVF. And time and heartache you save. It's, it's insane.
I can tell you like I remember this one person that didn't end up becoming your client. I met her through this like free clinic environment that I was in. And she every year, she would literally like, met, I had the first conversation with her. I think she was like 3839, something like that. And literally every year on the dot, I'd be like, Oh, it's April, she's gonna be messaging me kind of predict it. And she would like, send me her hormones. Be like, do you still think you can help me. And every year for many years, I was like, Yeah, we need to do this, like now. And she continued messaging me and it like, every year that passed, like, my heart was just breaking for her. Because I was like, I cannot believe that you're still struggling with this same issue. And nothing has changed. You still like go through IVF cycle after cycle after cycle. By the end of it, she was 45. And it wasn't necessarily because of her age, but her hormones just were wrecked. And at that point, I was like, it breaks my heart to tell you this. But this is the point at which we like this dead switch has flipped. This is no longer in the realm of natural medicine. Yeah, there's nothing I can do for egg quality if you're if your body doesn't have any eggs. So it like it was you can kind of see the trajectory, right? Like, year after year after year. And you like, I don't know why, like, what whole? Does conventional medicine have that? Like, oh, I'm just gonna try one more cycle. One more cycle one more cycle. And if like, if this was our success rate, we just not thank God. But if we were like, Oh, just six more months, six more months, six more months, like, we would have no business yet. fertility clinics got no problem. Like, they're like, oh six cycle 789. I've seen women with nine IVF cycles that have failed zero results. They keep getting worse. I sat down with one of them. And I was like, let's chart out every single outcome. And this woman was like, totally on top of it. She knew like every cycle, how many eggs are retrieved, how many fertilised? How many made it to day three? At what point they fell off the like what grade the embryos were she literally had everything was like, Great, let's put it on the chart. And I was like every single cycle that you have been through the point at which the sperm were introduced. The eggs just went downhill. The embryos did not make it. And she's like, oh, yeah, that's actually true. So the sperm are great. And I was like, hey, Have they done a DNA fragmentation test? She's like, what's that? What's that? After nine fucking cycles? You're asking me what is a DNA fragmentation test? Like, why haven't your IVF Doctors told you about this? It's, it's just like, so frustrating to be like, wait, you like you have the science, you have data? Why are you looking at the data? Right? Like, I couldn't I have my side. But I also have this like, really logical data driven side that's like, this is just shit is I can put this on a piece of paper, put this in a study and be like, Look, at this point, every time you introduce the sperm boom, eggs over. No more. And, and then you like any logical person says, must be the sperm. And yet, they have told this 33 year old woman who has been through nine IVF cycles by the time she's 33. So between 27 and 33, nine IVF cycles. That is her egg quality, her egg quality, it's like you're 33 She's like, Oh, my doctor said I'm too old. I'm like, Oh, so now we're talking to 33 year olds telling them they're too old. Like, really? Do we ever, like take a break from this bullshit? Like,
oh, no, I mean, the only thing I can think of I mean, obviously, it's very ingrained in our society that Western or Western medicine is the key, right? The gold. But I also feel like, it's, it's tangible and quick results. And that's what we're addicted to. Right. Like, it's that instant, you know, like our, like, think about when we grew up, you had to rewind, movies, commercials. So I think it's that kind of instant access, you want to know, and that's where IVF gets you, you will know, within 30 to 60 days, the outcome, where as much as even though we have the science and you know, the studies and all that now, it's still not tangible, because day in day out. And this is what we largely focus on, I'm sure you do, too, is like, you're not focusing on your pregnancy, because if you focus on getting pregnant each month, you feel like you're failing, you have to get your normal and common health issues. And see those improve. And that's when you feel like okay, this is slowly working. And eventually it trickles down to your fertility. Because your body's finally in thriving mode and can give your fertility what it needs. Because when it's in survival mode, it's like fuck your fertility. I don't need it to survive.
So I do not first one out, right. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
They feel time poor. There. I get it. And it's all psychological. It's all mental. And that's, once again, why it's so important to really shift your focus.
Yeah, yeah. It's, you know, I hope that like, we just wake up. And yeah, just wake up and be like, yeah,
Sarah Clark says it all the time on her podcast. I just want you to wake up. I'm like, That is like the best line ever. It's hard, and I get it, and I was there. But yeah, like we just all need to wake the fuck up that the way that we are going as a society, we're literally going to be unrecognisable in the future. And I think egg and sperm are going to be very highly sought after on the block black market. Better harvest those eggs now. But yeah, it's it's, it's I know, we're laughing and joking, but it is very sad. And I know, dealing with fertility issues is very frustrating, but it is figured out edible. And yeah, we have the resources. Now even if you choose to use medical assistance to speed up your time. You can greatly improve your situation.
Yeah, do it, do it after you have actually done the underlying work. Give like, you know, what, if you if you went through an IVF cycle, and you know what happened in that cycle, if you know, there were only five eggs retrieved right off the bat. It's like, oh, they didn't get as many eggs. This could have to do with hormonal imbalance, etc. If they got 20 eggs, but only three survive two day three or 5am Rios, then you know, that's a really clear and quality issue that your doctor does not have a skill set to help you with. Even the hormone piece, I'm not sure the doctors have a skill set to help you. But in either scenario, you have one failed IVF cycle goes, go find someone, I don't care if it's me, you, there are so many people in our community that support people on the fertility journey that actually know what they're doing. And go find who you resonate with, tune into your intuition, go work with them, give yourself four to six months, we're not saying give us a year, two years, five years, four to six months, which is not a lot to ask, and then go to your IVF cycle again. And you know what, like, the most you're gonna lose in those six months is maybe one other IVF cycle that you could have done in between one. So you gave us six months, then go see what happens. And I can almost guarantee that the outcomes would be drastically different.
Yeah. I'm just gonna say every client that has waited, has had a baby, every client that hasn't waited, because they feel rushed either from insurance or you know, whatever reason I'm not judging.
It hasn't worked. Yeah. Yeah. Same tedious.
And it's so funny when they come back. And they're like, Oh, well, the IVF clinic, they just don't know everything looks so good. I was like, I'll fucking tell you why you want me to be honest, I will tell you why the IVF didn't work. But yeah, it's no judgement. It's just, we're just speaking fact. And I think, I don't know, if you found, you know, I feel like fertility sometimes you have to be walking on eggshells, right? Because it is emotional. It is very sensitive subject. But I don't know if that's really working. You know, like, if you're just blunt and honest, and just say, Look, just give yourself the time that this, whatever, then maybe more people will hear it. Right? Instead of like, kind of, I don't know, babying. I don't know. There's like, like, I'm draw like, I'm pulled two ways. I guess I want to be sensitive. But at the same time, I'm like, wait to buck up, like you just said.
Yeah, and I think more and more of us are getting into this to sweep the fuck up. Because, like, it's, it's heartbreaking to watch people. You know, people, you've talked to women on social media that are like messaging me with? What do you think? Should I go through with the IVF cycle? And I'm like, what did your doctor say? Like? Why are you messaging our random account on social media asking what you should do with your IVF cycle? instead? Pause and maybe like, look at what's been going on, figure out the other pieces, and then have a conversation about whether or not to do IVF? Or whether or not you need to do IVF.
Exactly. Build your team around, you build that support system, you know, like, if you are out of fertility clinic, most of them are going to say do IVF right? Where if your intuition is like, I don't know if this is right, you know, yeah, make a connection. Go find a coach that you trust and or, you know, a fertility doctor or whoever else to help guide you. Because, yeah, I mean, like, we obviously do our social media accounts and our podcasts to allow this information to be out there to as many people we are not gatekeeping, right. Like you could literally listen to some like my podcast, your podcast, Sarah Clark's podcast, and get pregnant naturally, right? Like, all the information is out there. Yeah. But what is missing when you're just listening to the podcast, or reading the blog posts or the social media posts is the accountability.
Accountability, it's also like individualising it for you. Because I can talk about every single supplement under the sun. But it like in every single one of my posts. It's like, this does not mean you should also add this to your protocol. Like, please don't just add it to your protocol. Like co q 10. May be amazing, but you may not need it. DHEA might be amazing, might be the wrong thing for you. So it's it's really like being able to get that personalised Attention to say, well, let's pause. There's all this fertility stuff. Great. Let's pause. Before we even get to egg quality. Let's make sure your gut is fine, your adrenals are fine, your thyroid is fine. your pineal gland is working, your pituitary is working. Like there's so many steps before egg quality. And what supplements should you take for your egg quality? Right? So it's it's like, it's mind blowing to me that there is yes, we there is a wealth of knowledge. And yes, we're all sharing it pretty freely, because it's not the knowledge. It's the how does this apply to me? And who's going to hold my hand to walk me to the goal? Yeah. And that's the piece that's going to make it or break it.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, I think we could talk for hours. podcast episode. But thank you so much for joining us. Can you tell the listeners where they can find you?
Yep. My website is holistic fertility institute.com and social media holistic fertility, Doctor.
Nice. And you have a podcast as well. What's that called?
The podcast is called egg meet sperm.
So go check Dr. McMahon out. She's amazing. A ray of sunshine in the fertility space. Thank you so much for coming on. And I hope to connect with you again soon.
Thanks for having me.
Thank you once again for tuning in to the finding fertility podcast. If you're loving this podcast, please leave us a rating and review and let us know how this podcast is supporting you to get steps closer to creating your dream family. I hope you have a beautiful weekend and we will see you next Friday for another episode of the finding fertility podcast
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Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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