“We are self-sabotaging ourselves when we hold onto limiting beliefs.”
There are so many common symptoms that rise up in us, from acne to digestive issues, and often the underlying cause of these is very much related to our infertility but we may not realize it.
“Your anxiety and stress is linked to your health.”
What we eat from processed sugars to alcohol can greatly impact our gut health, our stress levels, and more which all coincide with our fertility issues.
There are destructive habits that can lead to seemingly common problems from the time we are young. We often mask these problems with medicine, antibiotics and other quick fixes all the while ignoring the deeper problem that is going on. What’s worse is that many medicines exacerbate our problems of fertility.
In this episode Sarah and I dive into what signs to look for and how to move from a conventional point of view to a more holistic view when it comes to everyday occurrences.
“For fertility, most people are not looking at their gut health.”
Listen here: When You Get Stuck on Your Diagnosis and Miss Important Cues to Solve Your Infertility
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Hello beautiful and welcome to finding fertility Happy Friday all
I'm your host Monica Cox from finding fertility Dotco. Before we get started, I want to talk about something Infertility can be extremely lonely. And I know I spent hours and hours and hours time reading other people's stories, looking at tips and tricks of what they did. And a lot of the time I felt really sure of what I needed to do. So I'm building a community of finding fertility community with different forum boards that you can be super active on and be around like minded women to connect and be supported with, but most importantly, getting the right advice and support that you need to have during your journey. So you can ask all sorts of types of questions, advice on what your doctor is saying. And I can give you maybe a different perspective on things or help you advocate for yourself and ask for certain testing, I can guide you along with diet and lifestyle advice and be there to be super supportive of all the hard times during this journey. So if you are ready to be part of a community and really start tackling what you need to do to get steps closer to your dream family, then head over to the website finding fertility.co and check out all the amazing benefits that you will receive when you signed up to the finding fertility community. Now without further ado, let's get to today's episode. Welcome back to finding fertility. We are here with Sarah Clark again and today we are talking about when you get stuck on your diagnosis and how we miss the normal health issues that could really give us a big clue into why you're dealing with the fertility issues that you're dealing with. I know you guys have been here long enough over a year now and you know me and Sarah dealt with all sorts of normal health issues that we were not linking to our facilities or doctors weren't linking to our facilities and every client that we have seen has something going on I don't know if Sarah if you do it but the instant I see it I'm like Boom there it is.
Absolutely yeah it's like common these symptoms are common but not normal. So it's like people come to me with acne skin rashes, you know Zima psoriasis or digestive issues you know, constipation, diarrhoea, burping gas bloating, mood issues, you see a lot depression anxiety irritability, which was me depression anxiety, ADHD, and then joint issues like painful joints and then what your you know your specialty and we work with them as well. You know, autoimmune so it's not just oh, I've got low am ancient, diminished ovarian reserve. Oh, by the way, I have an autoimmune disease. Oh, by the way, I have had cystic acne my whole life. Oh, by the way, on my digestion has been, you know, horrible. My whole life. Like those are huge clues. And I think we get we get this diagnosis, and we myopically look at it, and we forget to look at the whole body. So that's the functional approach looks at the whole body sees, you know, where's their missed healing opportunities. And the first line of defence is not, you know, going to the clinic, it's looking at the whole body and then you either get pregnant naturally or when you do go to the clinic, you improve your chances of success.
Exactly. I mean, your doctors definitely aren't looking at your IDs or, or your you know, tonsillitis or any kind of your PMS symptoms, I feel like is a huge one. I would say most of the people dealing with infertility have huge PMS symptoms that aren't normal, they shouldn't be there or periods shouldn't be the vein of our life every single month. I know for me part of the itty bitty titty committee but my boobs would like flare up, right? Like they would be like, I'm like, What is going on? I don't even like have boobs. Like, How is this even possible? As a board member, someone
telling me oh, you look the same way. Same way backwards and forwards. I'm like, Oh, now like, oh, I can jog without, you know, boobs. They're never gonna, they're never gonna sag like they won't.
Yeah, but it's just like, at least give me some boobs to have these issues with right then you kind of think in your head like, okay, I can deal with this. But it's just like, This is not normal, painful. Sore boobs every single month when you're not pregnant when you're not getting ready to breastfeed is not normal. And so these are the things that we really, really want you guys to look at and make a checklist. Write down on a piece of paper, all the things that are chronic every single month that you're dealing with, and it can be from anything just waking up with a snotty nose in the morning. That is a sign that something is off so whether you ate something the night before or a few days before, I know for me When I can tell when I drink or I don't drink now, you know, when I have, I don't even drink loads anymore because I'm like a feather in the wind with alcohol. But I remember like back in my early years of like, I always have to go to bed with a water next to my bed and I'd always be so thirsty through the night and I was so stupid now, but I was never linking it to the bottle of wine. I drink that yeah, that's going to dehydrate you that is going to cause you not to sleep. Well, that's going to cause you gut issues. You know, there's a lot of little issues that you can dive deep into and going okay, what am I doing for those to the popping up?
Yeah, exactly. So yeah, with this, I had chronic sinusitis. So for years, I took antibiotics and became allergic to all the antibiotics. So to me if you have some antibiotic use, and I think one round of antibiotics can impact your gut from three to six months. So it's like that atomic bomb going off in your body and destroying all the beneficial gut bacteria. So you know, there's times that we have to take antibiotics, but to me, like they were overprescribed, like now if a sinus infection happens to come on, I use the neti pot I work through it I have to actually sleep and rest I you know it's not just take the pill and then I continue on on my day my body's telling me something my immune systems it's become compromised I need to rest in the past I just took the antibiotics and kept going but seeing what I had chronic bladder infections was peeing blood took antibiotics for all those if now if I feel one coming on again it's usually I've overdone something you know, these are my weak areas in the body would be the sinus the bladder. So now I take de manos, which helps with the bacteria. I'll do like some provide like I do a daily probiotic. I do some probiotics and drink lots of water, not like standard cranberry juice, but the unsweetened kind because that's how it's full of sugar or it might be for me that I was I typically I don't do processed sugar, I will do organic cane sugar, but even some of that can you get to know your body so well. Then you've taken out all the shit taken all the garbage out. Now when you bring something back in, it's like, oh, I just had a gluten free or dairy free cake, but I had keen sugar and and it's funny when I go to sleep or like roll over. I'm like, I have this like weird like little almost like this underlying anxiety thing. I'm like, oh, what's your sugar? Yeah, this little like, feeling a little anxious. I wouldn't even have said I was anxious when when I was, you know, my 20s and 30s. But when you go off on some of these foods, looking back, it gets I was
I can't under emphasise how much your anxiety and your moods and your depression can be linked to the state of your your health i in the same way. Like if I am not treating my body kindly, whether that's alcohol stress, not sleeping, you know, bad food, the anxiety in my body at night, even though I didn't have a stressful day is unreal. And I'm just like, wow, this is insane. And I look back in my teens like I'm thinking like some incidences when I first met my husband. So it was like just barely 19 And I would have like these, like almost like fits like I would be almost kind of like so angry. And I just I don't know, I don't know how to describe it as Yes, seeing red. Yeah. And I'm just like, Ah, man, like, just imagine where I would be. Now, if I didn't take control of those things. And 100% was down to what I was doing to myself and my gut health. Would you say that most issues like our common issues are down to your gut health.
Yeah, I think that like the gut is the you know, the centre I do believe really looking at your gut health. And then it's like those chronic stressors, the food sensitivities, the gut infection, if you have a gut infection, and there are environmental toxins, if the mental emotional stress and the structural stress, like looking addressing all those stressors, and I think for fertility, most people are not looking at their gut health. Like they're not looking at the fact that they multiple like a high percentage people that come to us probably the same as you. They've been on the pill. They've been on hormonal birth control, they didn't go on it for prevention, they went on it for PMS, for acne for you know light cycles, irregular cycles, heavy cycles, then years later, not everyone that goes in the pill obviously has infertility with people that we see do and then that predisposes you to get infections and food sensitivity. So digging into that is harming your your gut health. And then the chronic stress the antibiotics like most people I see had been on a lot of antibiotics and chronic stress to dealing with infertility is a stressor so that is difficult if you're obviously talent if someone tells you to not stress out when you're feeling stressed. It's not it's not helpful, but it is you know, being able to look at those traumas and addressing the stressors in your life I think is important because that all impacts the health of your of your gut and being able to read you know, rebuild it with collagen powder with bone broth with probiotics and the whole mindset. that side of things is equally important to,
yeah, there's a whole list of things you need to do, which is super frustrating because you've already been on a list of things to do to get to where you are. Now, one of the hidden things that I see in most of my clients is that there is a underlining trauma or issue because sometimes when we think trauma, we think of like a really big major event, right. But it trauma doesn't have to be a major event. Like we would say, like, in my head when I hear trauma, it's like sexual abuse, or you know, like seeing something happened in your family. But it could be really something super simple. If you've had like a past issue with your sister, right? Growing up with your sister, and it's made you the way you are and helped create the who you are not necessarily made you but not dealing with these issues and seeing, you know, especially when you're type A of like, why you are type A, and how you got to where you are now, I see that and a lot of people have like digging deep back into your past is like your last missing thing. You know, like I get clients and I'm sure it's like we I feel like we're like the last step right here for like hope on hope that we can get pregnant just by changing gluten free or dairy for you, right, where a lot of people have done a lot of hard work by time they get to us and we're there to fill in those missing pieces. And I would say there's always something that they haven't dealt with that is still impacting the way they're living their life today in dealing with that kind of and it's called everyone has it right. Like I would say like 99% of the world has something in their youth that they haven't dealt with that is just still making them overtype A, or stress out about something or over analysing something, or self sabotaging. Because that's what we do to ourselves when we hold on to those limiting beliefs that were created in our childhood. So I always encourage people, I try to get it out in our conversation. I'm like, okay, there it is. Now, we got to take that and you've got to explore that even deeper. Like I'm not a counsellor. That's not what I do. I'm there just to help you find your hidden issues, and I can help you do your diet and like helping increase your lifestyle, but that's the next level, you're gonna have to go with a professional who can really dig that deep out. I don't know, for me, I still deal with it, right? Like I still have someone that I go to and dig out all these deep issues and the more I dig them up, the more it's like all those normal health issues that I'm dealing with. I can see how they were linked to that thing in some kind of crazy subconscious way. Yeah, cuz
it can be overwhelming. You're like, Oh, you're doing my diet, I gotta change on my personal care products. And now I gotta like work on past trauma, but it because a lot of times people we're seeing are the type a go getters. And then when I'm saying because I'm a life coach and health coach, so I'm like, Okay, let's look at some of these things. We're not going to hang out there forever, but let's at least look at them. If there's if you have resistance to even thinking there is an issue like we all have traumas and then as you say it doesn't need to be something horrific, or it can be something horrific. I see many people that you know, have had horrific things and even the diagnosis of infertility is traumatising in itself and going through failed IUI and failed IVF like that is traumatising going through loss miscarriage that is like there's a lot of pain associated with that so if you're like and I have people like this jumping through the Zoom screen Yellin for the supplements if that's you like there is something for us to look into your like and this is me like overly aggressive like my husband was saying because when you were younger the way you used to drive was like he goes I was like I was shocked I'm like what I thought it was so friggin awesome driving like music pounding zooming in and out of you know traffic and cutting people off and like I remember like would go so close in front of people tailgating ridiculous garbage but yeah, I was not crying I was like this real you know strong woman I just wrote it we got an episode as we're recording this today in June that's launching online talking about support and I was like no, I'm not crying I'm I'm totally fine. I was so guarded. So guarded. I'm like, really, because I'm like, didn't didn't need to like I don't need to cry. That's weak didn't really need to ask for support and even now I'm not one to overly I love delegating. And I I've always been like really big on self care and putting myself first remember some of my friends going, you're selfish. And then years later, they're like, Oh, actually, you're you're smart with that. So I've always had a really good self care routine. But for me to look into some of the things where I want to control like I had this thing that unless I plan something, it wouldn't happen to interesting. I'm like, oh, unless I did it nothing. So this whole planning thing and I do find my planning gets like out of hand. If I have caffeine, I just want to like UNO's, like plan it and control it and move it along and even sugar too. So seeing how like the diet piece is linked with some of my control issues. Nice See a lot of that with people with like, I'm not a worrier. So I see a lot of worry coming in. That's not me. But I'm more the how do we control it not a big to do list writing it down person, I usually I do have a list of my in my head. Typically, if you're hiring someone to help you look at some shit, and you don't want to look at it, that's something else for you to look into. Like, why do you have resistance? Why when you're begging for the supplements or wanting to do this, or I'm fighting you off from going to IVF. And I'm like, wait a minute, let's look over here and you're like, ah, like, that's for something, because someone who's able to that's outside of you to be able to see it. And sometimes we can't see it ourselves, and is to reflect on some of those things. And it's not to say, you know, that's why you're not conceiving, but maybe the chronic stress and of you holding all this shit for years has had, it's like, all these different things with these stressors on your body. So to be able to release them and let it go.
And I think that's the thing that we do, right? We sit back and we look at everything, everything that's going on, where a lot of the times when you go to your doctor IVF clinic, they're very hyper focused on what your Hmh score is, what your ovaries are doing your age, you know, your weights, it's all those things matter, but they matter. And somewhere else in your body, you have something else in your body is putting those off kilter. So when you have all these normal or common health issues, those are your red flags, you know, your infertility is, is probably the total of all your common issues. And I know for us, that was very, very true. And I don't think I had, I mean, other than working with my health coach, and he was seeing, you know, all these different things that were going on. No one else in the medical system pinpointed anything, they always thought I was I was fine. I was normal, and that my unexplained infertility was just one of those things. And they're very much so like, well, we'll add this drug or we'll add this or let's put you on immune suppressants. And that will get you to be, you know, lead to your ultimate goal. And now I look back and I'm just like, It's so insane how I was able to just sit there and accept it for a really long time. And even when I knew about this stuff, and I was still going back for medical treatments, so we had our last two embryos on ice. And I mean, I was full blown autoimmune paleo like I knew my stuff. And I still didn't have the confidence to go, No, I don't need immune suppressant drugs to welcome these embryos back in,
it is important to have like surround yourself with a team like listen to podcasts like this. So you don't second guess yourself because you'll have a well meaning doctor telling you things and they're they're trained in allopathic and a conventional way. And they're they're telling you what they believe is true. But they've been fed that that information I've talked about this before, like being fed that information. And they don't know all this other stuff. And so they don't know your body. They don't know the power of looking at traumas, they don't know the power of you know, addressing your gut health food sensitivities, all the environmental toxins. Like Knowledge is power. And when you start learning this stuff, you can't unlearn it. But it's not about you know, panicking, it is to know that there's other there's other ways for you to look at this. And to me there's like it's there's healing opportunities that are regularly missed in the conventional side of medicine. And we we get like the white coat syndrome, and we give the power to the doctor and this is 2020 like we we have the power we can do something. And that is very empowering. We don't need to sit there and wait for someone else to tell us what to do. And pump us more medication. Now, if you do need to use a medic medication eventually fine. But unless you have looked at the functional approach, you have missed healing opportunities that can help you I'm actually yes less expensive investment than, you know IVF cycles at a cost of 60k over the student take an average of three cycles. So I know when I do posts on Instagram saying it the majority of us can get pregnant naturally. Why are so many of us going to the clinic I have a number of people on the post giving me high fives saying this is the best thing I've ever heard other people are like you're shaming us I can't believe you're said this. This is horrendous. You know, some people have you know, male and female factor infertility and this is the only way I can go but that's what your doctor told you. Your doctor said that's the only way you go do you really is that really the case to me unless there's blocked anyone with block tubes you can do things with to help with, you know, adhesions to help with scar tissue so obviously you know same sex couples and if there's cancer there's some other things for sure that you know, it can it can be helpful for but I don't know I just really do believe it is over, over suggested and over prescribed and it's that whole conventional side of things a pill for an ill let's give me a pill. There you go.
I mean, I have women on my community board that know this stuff and are so heavily invested on finding the right diet and lifestyle and have put in a lot of effort and are still talking about, well, my clinic opens, we're in the COVID age, right clinics have closed, and they're now reopening. And it's just like I have one more month to try, you know, we do our best to just guide you in your journey, we're not here to convince you otherwise, you know, we can only give you the information we have. But yeah, there are times where you just want to say if you shift your focus, and just pretend there was no clinic, pretend that there was no IVF IUI. And the only way you can get pregnant is by doing what you're doing right now. Because you're already there, you're already invested in yourself, this is we're not trying to convince you to change your diet. If you're listening to this podcast, you're there, you're doing amazing things already. So if you shift your focus on just going, I'm going to get pregnant, this is what's going to happen for me, and I'm going to get my body there in the way that nature intended. And I can do this because no one can predict that. But it can totally 100% is possible for you and shifting your focus on the small goals as well. So obviously, during infertility, your ultimate goal is to get pregnant. But when you step back, and you look at that list that you've written out of all your common health issues, and start crossing them off, don't have that anymore, don't have that anymore, don't have that anymore. Those are the winds, you start celebrating. And you know, we both truly believe if you do that, you've got all the working parts. It can happen for you
know, like that's empowering. When you're like oh, wait, I can start seeing Oh, the the dandruff starts going away, oh, the toenail infection started to go away, oh, that my seasonal allergies actually have gone away, I don't need to use cleared it anymore. All these issues, and you start feeling better. But typically people that come to us don't feel poorly to begin with. But you don't even know how poorly you feel until you start feeling awesome. And it is you know, we can't promise anything. That's not what we what we do as far as if it's gonna work or not. But we can say that everyone that we've worked with gets completely life changing, because we've experienced it to be able to be empowered to know your body this way. And to not second guess yourself. And even now people will go into conventional doctors, and they'll be like, No, that's that's not right, that's not right. And then you just take their opinion as part of your team, right? So as part of your team, not the be all and end all is is to what they're saying and try to find I hunt and find and pay for people, doctors that have a functional background. And you know, as part of my team and for my you know, for my children's health as well. Because yeah, I think that's to me that I find that empowering. But as far as the plan it is to be able to have a plan, you can say, Look, I'm going to do this for six months, and then I'm going to IVF but I need to give it the full six months, not at the three month mark where I'm like, whoo hoo hoo, I don't know if this is gonna work on me, I'm getting older, I'm not sure like I can hang in there, you're gonna say, look, six months, I'm gonna do it. And then six months, I am then going to look into IVF. But you have to give each because if you start, you try it and people do this, they sign up, they try something. And then after two months, they give up and they want to go straight to the clinic but they haven't put in the work like you have to put in the work. This stuff is not a pill for now. It's not the magic bullet, but it is preparing your body a healthy pregnancy postpartum, that healthy your children, that all matters.
That was the next piece is time. You know, most people I think that's why the clinics are so you know, enticing, because within a month, you can know you can know if you're pregnant or not where when you're taking a functional approach, it is sometimes a very slow process, I would say most people do see some type of results throughout their body within you know, three weeks to five weeks, it's those it's the more like in depth issues like bladder infections, like you say like they can be reoccurring because you either are probably both genetically are set up for them. And then the damage you've already done, you know not to blame you were in this boat to like we can't live a certain way because we lived a certain lived a certain way for so long.
Listen to the signal we're going I kept pushing with the with the antibiotics and the pill and doing all these other things. And then eventually, you know, your health, it'll come home to you've got to do something about it. Or you're going to be in deep doo doo. And just
have that that faith in yourself. And in time. Nature always wants to be the king of the castle, right? Your body will always go back to a healthy normal state. You just have to give it the right support. So that's finding the right support. And I think that's where people get so frustrated is like I said before, most of the people that come to us have tried every single trick in the book, but it's it just didn't line up the way their body needed it and there's always that missing piece right especially with a gut infection or the overgrowth of bacteria are the food sensitivities. You see, like I just had a client who had an amazing diet but she was intolerant to quinoa,
quinoa, quinoa. You Yeah, like I'm just as reactor with gluten.
I know. Yeah. So she was like, oh my god, I eat that like, almost every day because I'm off gluten. I'm like, well, there you go, like, there's a big sign. So once they cut these things out, they see instant results like and that's how I was like when I went paleo and then I went to the autoimmune paleo. It was weeks. And I was like, there's my last symptom gone, because I had already done all that hard work to lead up to that ultimate, like, that was my missing piece.
Yeah, and to me, like you, that's why you can Google this and do it by yourself. But you'll do have someone that's, you know, gone through it can fast track your success, that we're sharing this information because I see someone like me that was struggling and had no clue and didn't even ask for a second opinion when I had my premature ovarian failure diagnosis and went right off. And obviously I'm, you know, fortunate have both my kids with donor eggs. But, you know, my health began to suffer. And I don't know, I think it's when you discover something and I'm like, Why does everybody not know this? And then that's when I have to like talk about because I'm like, what we don't know,
I have a really hard issue in my brain that once I know something or if like I'm not doing something no one else in the entire world does that or an everyone else in the entire world knows that. So I'm like, like, when people come back to me, especially like, if you're on social media, talking about gut health, and you know, the the side effects that the birth control can have on your body or anything medically related. The doctors just come for you. They're just like, that's not medically proven. And it's like, Well, okay, why are other doctors like been lynched, Hyman, you know, like, the list goes on, right? Yeah. So who's right? They're doctors, and they're saying this, your doctors, you're not saying this, like, it's a conflict of interest, don't come at us who you know, have not chosen to be medical professionals. But we've lived through this shit. And we've done it and we help other women explore these options, and that we don't have like a double blind placebo effect medical study, because at the end of the day, there's no fucking money in getting healthy. There's no
money in funding, you know, taking out nightshade from your from your diet now, right, that there are two studies in the Journal of American medicine about the efficacy of the AIP with IBS and IBD. Sorry, with IBD, and then Hashimotos. So the studies are coming. But do we need to wait the 20 years for all the studies to come out? And everyone yelling, say, there's no studies around this? Well, you know, you can take the anecdotal information of 1000s and 1000s of people that have, you know, completely changed their lives by making, you know, these basic changes, let's stop eating pesticides. And, you know, let's see how that impacts the health of our sperm, I don't know, I just think to me is to have an open mind, if you don't have an open mind, it won't work. The functional approach is not for you, if you don't have an open mind. So you have your infertility diagnosis, and you're you're willing to wait a minute, listen to your body, you see all those symptoms going on. And taking that holistic approach. That's the functional approach, the band aid approach is the clinic.
And you know, either way, that's your choice, right. And we're not judging or putting any pressure on anyone. But I think from our personal experiences, we're just really passionate that you do not have to waste 10s of 1000s of dollars on something that you can do for a much cheaper price and the benefits of your health and your child's health. I mean, that's our real passion, right? Like, in our heads, we're like, yep, pregnancy, we can get you there, we can help for us. It's just like, we are going to give you a better experience through the rest of your life if you decide to hold on to all these long lasting changes that you make. And that is like the icing the cherry on top right
now, because we see the people but it hasn't worked. We're used to the people that opt for the clinic, but the they've slipped through the cracks, and it hasn't worked. And we see the financial toll, the emotional toll, like the devastation of that, and that's why we're sharing our story to prevent that. So we we want you to come at the beginning of your journey, not at when you're coming to us as a last resort, and you've already realised Oh, jeez, okay, I'll give this a try. So I can say to myself, I've tried everything, but you haven't tried everything. If you haven't looked at the functional approach. You've missed huge, you know, healing opportunities.
I mean, I always say it I just think you know, for me nine years and I just think if I would have had the right guidance and support it would have been so much shorter, cheaper, but I wouldn't have arrived to where I am here today because as we both know, it is a journey to do all this and everyone listening to this podcast, you are on your own journey and you know the struggles you know how hard it is to invest in yourself and keep going it might feel like a very lonely road. But I think there are more and more women out there ready to take control of their common and no are more health issues and improve their lives and their children's lives. So I hope this has been a really good pep talk for you guys. And just a another reminder that your common and normal health issues are not normal and you can do something about them
which will help increase your fertility. So thank you so much for joining us. You
can connect with either Sarah or myself down in the show notes. I hope you have a beautiful weekend and we will see you next week.
Thank you once again for joining us for another episode of finding fertility if you're loving the podcast please leave us a rating and review. Let us know how this podcast is helping you through your infertility journey. Hope you have a beautiful weekend and we will see you next Tuesday for another closer today clip
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Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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