After Low Egg Quality at 30 & 2 Failed IVFs: Here's What I Learnt About Improving Egg Quality & Infertility

I was 30 when I sat in a small room and was told my eggs were the problem.

All of my embryos were highly fragmented. My husband’s sperm was fine. So it was me. Low egg quality. Nothing you can do. Try IVF again.

I remember the quiet shame in that room. The kind that sits heavy in your chest. The kind that whispers you are defective. The narrative was simple. You were born with a certain number of eggs. They are aging. They are declining. That is that.

And yet something in me did not believe him.

Not because I was rebellious. Not because I wanted to argue with science. It simply did not make sense. Why would I go through another invasive expensive cycle just to hope that the golden egg got chosen this time. Why was luck the only strategy on the table.

That was the beginning of my fertility burnout. Not from injections or appointments. From the story.

The story that there is no way to improve egg quality. The story that age is the cliff. The story that infertility is mostly about time running out.

So I stepped off that path. Not dramatically. Not heroically. Quietly.

I changed my diet. I changed my lifestyle. I paid attention to my gut health. I supported my sleep and stress and blood sugar. I started looking at my immune system. I did not get pregnant that year. But my body changed. My skin changed. My energy changed. My cycles shifted. Things that I had accepted as normal started to regulate.

I went back to IVF.

We created five healthy embryos.

And I still did not get pregnant.

I did not even make it to day 28.

That was the moment I understood that egg quality was not the whole picture. Something deeper was happening. More testing revealed high natural killer cells. My immune system was on alert. My body was not relaxed enough to receive.

Healthy embryos. Hostile environment.

So I went further. I looked harder at my gut health because I knew my immune system lived there. I focused on inflammation and food sensitivities and the patterns in my nervous system that kept me braced for impact. I did IVF again with immune suppressing drugs and that is how I had my first baby.

And I kept going.

Not because I love protocols. Not because I wanted to be right. Because something inside me knew there was still more to uncover. More subconscious blocks. More cellular health work. More emotional healing that had nothing to do with vitamins and everything to do with safety.

At 36 I got pregnant naturally.

When I say that out loud people assume it is a miracle story. It is not. It is a choice story.

We get to choose what science we believe. That sentence makes people uncomfortable. Good.

Because most of the studies women quote about age and fertility are looking at quantity not quality. They are looking at how many eggs are in the ovary not how those eggs function inside a well supported body. AMH came from IVF populations. Those are not neutral samples of thriving women. They are women already struggling.

That does not make IVF evil. It makes the narrative incomplete.

There is no solid evidence that you cannot improve egg quality. There is only repetition of a story that was built on limited data and then amplified until it became truth.

And when that truth is repeated enough it becomes subconscious programming. It becomes frequency. It becomes the quiet panic behind every birthday. It becomes the voice that says hurry.

I am not here to rescue anyone from IVF. I have walked that road. I have felt the hope and the devastation and the strange grief of waiting for a phone call that determines your worth for the month. IVF trauma is not just about the physical procedures. It is about outsourcing your power to a system that tells you the outcome is fixed.

I am also not here to shame medical treatment. For some women it is necessary. Structural issues matter. Male factor matters. Age in the late forties matters. Reality matters.

What I am here for is discernment.

If you are 30 or 32 or 35 and you are being told that egg quality is declining and there is nothing you can do and your gut says that cannot be the whole truth then listen to that.

Your gut is not sentimental. It is intelligent. It houses most of your immune system. It responds to stress. It responds to food. It responds to trauma. It responds to the way you speak to yourself when a cycle fails.

Cellular health is not a trendy phrase. It is the foundation. Your mitochondria do not know your AMH. They know inflammation and nutrients and sleep and cortisol and belief.

Mindset is not positive thinking. It is the pattern of thoughts you rehearse every day about your body and your timeline and your odds. Emotional healing is not journaling once a week. It is the slow unwinding of a nervous system that has been braced for disappointment for years.

Subconscious healing is not mystical. It is what happens when you stop running the same stress response every month.

Fertility burnout is not solved by doing more. It softens when you realize you have more influence than you were told.

If I could choose again knowing what I know now I would have started with cellular health. I would have addressed my immune system and my gut health and my stress patterns before stepping into IVF. I did not need it. I was not out of time. I was uninformed.

That is not false hope. That is empowerment.

Both roads can be empowering. Medical and holistic. Science and intuition. But only when you know you are choosing them. Not when you feel cornered.

The most dangerous story in infertility is not that you might need help. It is that you have no agency.

You are not a statistic. You are a living system. Your eggs are not frozen in time. They are influenced by the environment they sit in. And you are part of that environment.

Some women will read this and feel relief. Some will feel resistance. Both are honest responses.

There is no urgency here. No promise. No guarantee.

Just this.

You get to decide which story you live inside.

Egg Quality:: The Fertility Cliff: Why “It’s Your Age” Is the Most Convenient Scapegoat in Modern Medicine:: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/fertility-cliff-why-it-s-your-age-is-the-most-convenient-scapegoat-in-modern-medicine 

 Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica 

Listen up, lovelies: Everything I share about health, diet, or fertility magic is my opinion. Yep, it’s all based on years of trial and error, study, reading, listening, and side-eyeing the nonsense out there. What worked for me might be a jackpot for you—or it might be a total flop. Bodies are weird like that. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, or any other kind of licensed health wizard. If you need medical advice, run—don’t walk—to an actual qualified professional. Don’t come back here saying Monique told you to eat kale for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, okay?

As for the products I mention, they’re either what I used during my own infertility rollercoaster or what I wish I’d known about back then. No guarantees, no promises, and absolutely no refunds on your hope budget if it doesn’t work out.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, proceed with curiosity and, above all, discernment. You’ve got this. 💪✨

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Full Transcript:

00:00
was 30 I had a shambles of an IVF. Like it was so bad. All of my embryos were highly fragmented. It was my fault because my husband's sperm was fine. So when we went into our WTF appointment they told me that I had low A quality, I was 30, there was nothing I can do about it and so I should just try IVF again.

00:26
There's no way to improve equality. You are born with a certain amount of eggs and those are the same eggs that you have had for 42 years because you had those eggs when you were inside your mom. And even though he was the expert, I didn't believe him. It didn't make sense. Why would I go through another very expensive, very invasive procedure to...

00:48
try my luck, see if that golden egg got, you know, chosen. So I changed my diet, changed my lifestyle. A year went by and I didn't get pregnant. I saw amazing results in my health, things that I didn't think were related to fertility. I went back to do another round of IVF. We created five healthy embryos. I didn't get pregnant. I didn't even make it to day 28.

01:18
And so we further asked for some immune testing. There it was. I had high natural killer cells. And even though after all the diet and lifestyle changes, I was able to create healthy embryos. I wasn't able to keep them because my body was attacking the embryos. So I went further down the rabbit hole, massively improved my gut health even more, you know, but I highly focused on it because I knew through study and intuition and

01:49
common sense that my immune system was affecting my fertility and my gut health was affecting my immune system. So long story short, I had an IVF baby using immune suppressing drugs and I continued on.

02:06
a cellular health improvement and I got pregnant financially at 36. Now it took me so long because I didn't have the information that is so easily accessible. Nowadays I had to piece it together. know 15 years into when I started my journey and my studies and my investigation into true fertility health and remember I'm a layman. I don't have a license. I actually had no desire to learn.

02:36
of this stuff, but yeah, here I am. We get to choose what science we want to believe, okay? So if you want to believe that you cannot improve egg quality, that's a choice. You don't have any evidence, you don't have any scientific study that you cannot improve your egg quality. All of the scientific studies out there around age and fertility look at the number of eggs inside the ovary.

03:03
That's two different things. We are talking about completely two different things here. Quantity, quality. So there's no evidence to support the narrative that you cannot improve your A-quality.

03:23
There's no evidence that age is the number one factor. So all the studies done on a sick population, all your IVF studies, AMH comes from IVF, doesn't come from a well-rounded population of women. The ovaries that were studied for this like narrative, this cliff that we have around age, 350-ish ovaries collected from the deceased or women who had hysterectomies.

03:53
It's junkie science. I'm just here for the truth. I'm not here to be right. I didn't choose this. I obviously did not choose to do this. I got forced into it because I couldn't get pregnant. IVF wasn't working. The narrative that I was being sold didn't make sense. So I chose to go off and study a completely different thing. I'm here for women to decide what their truth is if they want to believe this narrative.

04:23
and continue to do medical treatments that might be necessary, might not be necessary before they improve their cellular health. That's their truth. So when you talk about false hope, I've walked both paths. I've been down your IVF road of hope and excitement and waiting. And I've been down the cellular health road.

04:47
Now, at the end of both of those roads, I with my IVF baby with a natural pregnancy, knowing what I know now, if I got to choose again, which path I would solely take, because I didn't need IVF, I wasn't someone who was in their late 40s, someone who was had structural issues who maybe had a male factor. I wouldn't have gone that route. I didn't need it. So

05:17
There's no false hope. There's only empowerment. And both roads can be very empowering when you know what your truth is and when you use your discernment and your intuition.