Emotional Healing Before Motherhood: The Subconscious Blocks Keeping You Stuck with Melisha Meredith Part One
You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Be a Conscious Mama (But You Do Have to Get Honest)
Let’s get something straight right now: the fertility journey isn’t just about your hormones, your AMH levels, or whether your supplements are third-party tested. It’s about your frequency. It’s about whether you actually trust yourself enough to stop outsourcing your intuition to someone in a white coat.
This week on the podcast, I sat down with the lovely Milisha, a homeschooling mama of four who went from antibiotics on repeat to radically trusting her own discernment. And if you’re thinking, “That sounds brave, but I’m not there yet,” this episode is exactly what you need.
We talk about that terrifying moment so many of us face—the one where you realize the experts aren’t fixing it, your child is still sick, and your own nervous system is clenching with anxiety. Milisha shares how her daughter’s chronic ear infections were the breaking point. Not because it was the worst thing ever, but because it finally pushed her to ask, “Is there another way?”
There always is. But the first step is facing the fear of doing something different.
We unpack what happens when you start to listen to your body, even when it goes against conventional advice. We dive into mom guilt, emotional eating, people-pleasing, and that beautiful mess called subconscious healing. You’ll hear how Milisha realized her body image issues weren’t just hers. They were passed down through frequency, silently taught by generations of women who never felt enough.
This is what I mean when I say motherhood is a mirror. Your kids are not just watching what you say. They’re absorbing how you feel. They’re picking up on whether you love yourself, whether you trust your decisions, whether you slow down long enough to listen.
You don’t need to be perfect to get pregnant. But if you want to raise children who feel safe in their bodies and confident in their choices, it starts with you getting radically honest.
Your fertility journey is the initiation. Not the punishment.
So if you're feeling burnt out, stuck in patterns, or secretly spiraling every time another supplement doesn’t “work,” take a deep breath. You are not broken. You are becoming.
🎧 Press play on this episode and feel your body exhale. This one’s a reminder that you’re not alone, and you’re not crazy for wanting more than just a protocol.
Listen to the full episode here: Emotional Healing Before Motherhood: The Subconscious Blocks Keeping You Stuck with Melisha Meredith Part One
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Listen up, lovelies: Everything I share about health, diet, or fertility magic is my opinion. Yep, it’s all based on years of trial and error, study, reading, listening, and side-eyeing the nonsense out there. What worked for me might be a jackpot for you—or it might be a total flop. Bodies are weird like that. 🤷♀️
Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, or any other kind of licensed health wizard. If you need medical advice, run—don’t walk—to an actual qualified professional. Don’t come back here saying Monique told you to eat kale for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, okay?
As for the products I mention, they’re either what I used during my own infertility rollercoaster or what I wish I’d known about back then. No guarantees, no promises, and absolutely no refunds on your hope budget if it doesn’t work out.
Now that we’ve cleared that up, proceed with curiosity and, above all, discernment. You’ve got this. 💪✨
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today
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Full Transcript:
00:00
Hello beautiful and welcome to the Finding Fertility podcast.
00:10
I'm Monica, your mentor in uncovering the hidden layers of your fertility journey. Together, we'll discover the right path for you within the six essential steps to creating the family of your dreams. We'll ditch the overwhelm, tune into your intuition, and build a vibrant foundation for your fertility. Whether it's through gut health, subconscious healing, or energetic alignment, you can unlock your bodies
00:34
natural power to get and stay pregnant. Your fertility journey is all about radical responsibility and deeply believing that your body is on your side. It's time to stay consistent, embrace trust, surrender, and create the transformation you deserve. Finding fertility does not diagnose, prescribe, or treat any fertility issues. What we do is empower you to take control of your health by uncovering the root causes holding you back. Let's do this together.
01:03
Happy Friday, y'all. Welcome back to another episode of Finding Fertility. I'm your host, Monica Cox, and I'm truly honored that you are here becoming the conscious mama you were born to be. I'm here today with a very special guest. And I actually should have asked you how you pronounce your name, because I'm just assuming it's Melissa, but it's spelled differently. Yeah, it's militia. It sounds like the army, the volunteer army, the militia. Yeah.
01:28
That's why I always spell people. Milisha. Okay, well, there we are. I even said to myself, ask her how she pronounces her name because some people just spell it differently, right? But it's like pronounced that way. So welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for being here. Just tell our audience a little bit about you. Yeah, well, I'm a Midwest girlie. I was born and raised in the Midwest. We lived on the East Coast for a little bit, but now we're back in the Midwest. And so we're
01:56
Raising our four kiddos, I'm a homeschool mom and someone who's been on a health journey for about 12 years. That health journey was really prompted by some chronic illness that my oldest was having when she was little. But we're about 12, 13 years past that now. So it's been a long journey for us, but amazing journey. And through that time just really became passionate about health and wellness.
02:24
was so thankful for people in the online space that were willing to teach me things, right? Like that had blogs with all this detailed information and YouTube videos and things like that that I could just go to as a busy mom and be like, teach me. And so when I kind of got to this place, people started to pick up that I was.
02:49
pretty passionate about health and wellness and started asking me questions, just my friends and family. And I thought, man, if I could help other mamas the way that other people helped me when I was trying to learn, I would just be so honored to do that. So that's kind of what I do now. I stay home and homeschool my kids, but also have a little bit of a health and wellness business with my podcast and blog and things like that. So I'm just passionate about helping mamas on their own health journeys. Yeah.
03:18
One of the harsh things I tell my clients, which might not be harsh to them, but maybe to the rest of the world, I always say that your fertility journey is your body's way of saying, I need help. the reality is this day and age, every family is going to go through some type of situation that is going to be required for that family to seek help.
03:48
whether that be holistically or in the medical system or a combination of both, but I say to them like you get the chance right now to radically take control of your cellular health in the epigenetics and decrease the chances of it being your child that you then therefore have to support or even if you have to support your child in the future you have the knowledge you can really take
04:15
empowerment and make that journey way less bumpy. So tell us a little bit about, you know, your daughter's journey and your journey and why you decided to look at the holistic route because some people just don't. Yeah. Well, she was about five years old and just had chronic ear infections. She would just like chronic, you know, congestion, which would lead to ear infections. And we would go to the doctor and get an antibiotic and
04:39
It would help maybe for a little bit, but then it would all just come back. And so we were in this cycle. And finally, I realized like, we just keep doing the same thing over and over again. This is not getting better. And so I had never done this before, but I just Googled, are there some natural remedies for ear infections? And I found a couple of things that seemed really pretty harmless. If it doesn't work, fine, but this isn't gonna hurt, right?
05:05
And so I tried it. And we were even at the point where, you know, a doctor was wanting to put tubes in her ears. And I know that's really common thing to do. And, but I just had to check in my own spirit about that. I was like, I'm not sure that I really want to try that yet. And he's like, you can go home and try whatever you want. He's like, but you're going to end up back here, but we didn't because the natural remedies actually worked.
05:27
And I was very shocked when I told people what we did. And I was like, we did this, and it just worked. But that really set us off on a journey of just what you said, of trying to listen to our bodies more, really. What is our body trying to tell us here? And is there something that we can do to partner with the way that our bodies were made to bring about more health and wellness in our family? Yeah, absolutely.
05:54
So let's like touch on a sensitive subject because a lot of time, you know, mothers have the guilt or they don't really want to say it out loud and maybe you will or you won't. But what is it like as a mother dealing with chronic issues with their children? Like what, you know, I've been fortunate maybe because I had to deal with my own chronic issues and I know that journey for myself, but I don't know that journey with another human being where you can't
06:24
you can only see their pain and you can only, know, so what does it feel like for a mother going through all that? Yeah, that's a good question. I've definitely dealt with it for myself as well over the years. know, things have come up for me and my husband and my other kids that I'm like, okay, wait, this is ongoing. You know, we need to stop and figure this out. But I mean, when she was struggling, I just felt horrible. You know, like I was trying my best for what I knew to do.
06:54
And but I also knew I was like, this isn't working. And I had this moment of like, am I really brave enough to like try something else? Right? To try something that the professionals aren't really recommending and don't think is going to work. Like, you know, can I like actually do that? So there was, know, in your health journey, you're you're gonna have a lot of challenges, you know, if it's you or your kid or
07:23
whatever the situation is, like you're gonna have a lot of challenges along the way of, you know, making hard decisions or, you know, going against the grain in some ways, but those challenges will always prevent present choices that then help you to change one way or the other. So every, every challenge that we come across, so it felt very challenging, I would say, at that time to I was kind of in a in
07:50
just a state of stress in my own mind, you know, a battle in my own mind of, I just keep doing what the professionals tell me to do? Or do I really start to trust my own intuition and instincts at this time and try something different? And it was a small thing that I tried. told you, you know, was like, picked something that seemed really harmless that I didn't think was going to hurt her. And we were dealing with ear infections, you know, we're not taught, you know, so there's a, also a scale of chronic issues that you're dealing with and how serious they can be.
08:21
So we were fortunate that this wasn't like a life threatening, you know, chronic issue. So we had a little bit of play there where we could like kind of experiment in a way and see what was going on. But it was still like a challenge to me to go against the grain. I just do something that I'd never done before. And that was like the first time that I had ever done that in with health, especially. And so having that challenge, I realized I have a choice to make here. And so and then having success with that.
08:50
it changed me to be like, oh my gosh, we can like actually do something different, right, than what everybody else is doing, or what the professionals are telling me to do. So I just want to like, empathize with the women and the mommas that are listening that are feeling that challenge right now, that kind of tension of like, which way do I go here? Do I keep doing what?
09:19
these people say to do or do I like start trusting my own intuition and do what I know is right. And I love what you said about listening to your body. That's, that's been one of the greatest gifts in this whole journey is learning to listen to my body and helping my my kids learn how to do that. You know, I can see them, they'll come upstairs and be like, Mom, my throat starting to hurt, you know, and they know that's like, the first time you don't wait till it gets like 10 steps worse.
09:47
You know, like, the throat is a little dry. Like I might need to do something. Right. And I love that. Yeah. And like you said, none of us were taught to do that ourselves. So we just, you know, continue on pattern, pattern, pattern until this big life event that we're willing to just like, like you say, like you don't even know why. Like desperation, maybe. Like I know I was desperate in my journey. So I was like, whatever, I'll change my diet. Like, is that like the worst thing I can do? It's not going to harm anything.
10:16
But at that time, 15 years ago, it was still looked upon like, you're crazy. Like, people really thought I went crazy when I changed my diet for fertility. But I know like not only trusting your body in going against the grain, but trusting your intuition and your discernment when you do need medical support, right? And not being so far against it and like, I can fix everything myself or just being like, okay.
10:46
I just need help and it's okay if my kid, you know, I didn't clear the, I don't know, pneumonia. So I'm going to get the nebulizer for him and that will help him and we'll still do our holistic things. But knowing that and practicing that for yourself before that mom guilt, like, you know, and, and yeah, we're really lucky that there could be things that are presented that are so like, okay.
11:14
I'm not going to damage her eardrum by, I don't know. Right, right, right. And you're seeing the effects in your children. And this is what I say to my community is that we're building conscious mamas here because your children are just going to mirror and reflect and do the same things that you do. And so the more consciousness you get about your intuition, your discernment,
11:42
how to navigate, because we live in the real world, right? Like we shop at Costco's, we drive a car, we live in pollution, like we deal with stress. We're not trying, I don't want to say we're not homesteaders, which I think homesteaders has their own level of stress, but there is kind of like that removal from the BS of the Costco line. Like no one likes the Costco line. And helping your kids see that, because how old are your kids now?
12:12
My kids are 18, almost 16, 15, and 10. Yeah. So kind of older kids. Yeah. And being able to help them over the last 12 years make those better decisions when they go out into the world. And as you said in the beginning, your family and your friends and your community saw that what you were doing. And so it has this ripple effect that you don't need to come online like us and host podcasts and talk about these things. If you just show up.
12:42
It goes out into the wider community. And what I always say is that these conscious mamas create big shifts because I believe that their children who are coming to them are ready for that elevation and they're not, they're just not going to go and be kind of this norm and, you know, did what we did in the eighties and nineties and stuff. They're really going to make this big change that we can all agree.
13:12
needs to happen here on earth. Yeah. I mean, if you can do this before you have children, like work some of through some of these challenges and, you know, really start to learn to listen to your body and trust your intuition more and, things like that, that's, that's so huge. Like that would be so beneficial. Um, because you think about a health journey and you're going to think about food and exercise and, you know, maybe
13:38
using less chemicals in your home. And I love all those things. Like I love that. I love thinking about that kind of stuff, but it's not just a physical journey of making practical choices. It's also an emotional and mental and spiritual journey. And it can be a lot, honestly. Cause it's just a lot of changes. Like, and it's, can be overwhelming. remember I, I bit off more than I could chew in the beginning. I started learning so much.
14:07
once that I wanted to do everything and like change everything and you know, do all better food and all better products and you know, have a better exercise routine and all the things and it was so stressful, which is really not healthy. So you know, like, it's it can be a lot. And if you also think about how that that emotional aspect can have overwhelm, you know, can impact your health.
14:35
So you just have a lot of things going on. Like it's not just a physical journey, right? It's emotional, spiritual, mental. That's the holistic health picture. But those emotional things kind of come as a result of some of the physical and outward changes that you're making. At least they did for me. when we wanted to change the way that we were, we wanted a more open-minded pediatrician when we had kids and started learning.
15:04
So I had to be more of a vocal advocate for my kids when we would go to the pediatrician's office. That was very hard for somebody who, and I had to learn like, so that was the outward action, right? Okay, I'm gonna go in here and I'm gonna say this and this because we're gonna make these certain choices for our health and do this and not do that. But inwardly, I was like, why is this so hard? Why is it so hard for me to go in here and be like, I don't wanna do that?
15:33
You know, like, I don't want to follow your recommendations. Like, I had to learn it was because I was a people pleaser on the inside and I was afraid of that person's reaction toward me. So that was like the emotional, spiritual, mental thing that was going on, you know, as we did these physical outward changes. There's a lot of that in the health journey.
15:56
where you have your kind of like come to terms with you like, why am I feeling this way right now? You know, why am I sweating? Totally. And I mean, in a fertility journey, you have that white coat syndrome from day one. mean, my audience knows I got talked out. My intuition told me exactly what I needed. know, God, spirit, guys, Jiminy Cricket, whatever you want to call it. I knew and.
16:22
That moment I was in that doctor's office, I was like, no, no, no. And I listened. And there was consequences, not because you're being tested or karma or any of that. It's just the natural order. You don't follow the steps that are laid out for you because you don't have that confidence, whatever it is. It's just, of course that IVF was going to fail because I still had high natural killer cells, not because I...
16:50
you know, was a bad person, you know, or Carmen and other life. yeah, I definitely think that what a lot of people don't understand when they get into the physical, tangible aspect of health and wellness, and especially, you know, we're talking over a decade ago for the both of us learning, that's what they preached. It was very physical, just get the physical stuff and
17:17
I know people were talking about the mental and emotional level, but not like we hear it now. So yeah, there's these things that you have to look at and go, why am I not sticking to my diet? Why am I reaching for a glass of wine? Why am I not advocating for myself in the doctor's office? Why am I not setting boundaries with my family who is toxic or why is my best friend, you like you have to start really thinking and unpacking these things.
17:45
for yourself because it's harder to do the physical stuff when the emotional and the energetic of why you were doing them in the first place, right? You're just going to keep patterning the same way into motherhood. you see that now as someone who has done motherhood? Mine are still nine and seven, but you've seen all the phases of motherhood.
18:13
and how you first started mothering and then all the knowledge that you've gained over the last decade plus to now how you mother. Yeah, for sure. I definitely feel more empowered now as a mom to trust my own instincts, my own intuition, which I feel is God given to us, right? It's a good thing that we have, right? And that we can learn to trust.
18:39
But the reason that I brought up that emotional aspect of your health journey is because if you don't deal with those emotional, spiritual, mental things that come up along the way, you know, you're just focusing on eat the protein, you know, whatever, then you're not dealing with those other emotional things that come up. It's really going to stunt your growth, your personal growth, you know, your maternal growth. And if you want to end up in a place where you do feel
19:06
confident, can trust your own authority, ability to make decisions, you know, those kinds of things, you have to deal with those emotional things along the way. Another one for us was, I realized in some of my emotional eating, kind of disordered thinking that I was reaching for food as emotional comfort sometimes. And I realized that
19:31
I had done that in my family growing up. That's what we did to celebrate or if we were sad or anything, it was always, you know, usually desserts of some kind, which we're very Midwest potluckers over here. you come to a family dinner or something, there's so many desserts all the time. But I realized I was like, Oh my goodness, I was, that's how I grew up. That's why I'm doing this, because this is how I was trained. And I had to like deal with that emotionally. And
20:01
So I didn't, cause I didn't want to pass it on to my own children. Right. And so, and that made me more mindful of the choices that I made with my own kids about how to help them handle their own emotions. okay. I don't want them to have the same pattern that I had. So I need to deal with it in myself. You like eternally internally, you know, emotionally recognize what I'm doing. Right. And that's not what I want for myself. It's not what I want for my kids. And so.
20:30
doing that enabled me to be more mindful with them and helping them deal with their emotions and, you know, for happy emotions and sad emotions and all the things, you know, like, let's celebrate with things that are healthy, you know? And so, like, that's another example of the way that, like, that emotional journey really helped me progress, like, personally and as a mom. And there's just tons of those moments, like, along the way where you're like,
21:00
You just have to stop and have that self-awareness of, why am I feeling like this right now? Why am I struggling with this, just like you said? And I think that's really been a huge part of getting us to where we are now. Not that we're perfect, but we've come a long way. Yeah, it's just that radical honesty. And you don't have to be perfect to have children, right? Right. We know that. The crackhead on the street, God bless her soul.
21:27
has proven that health isn't a marker for pregnancy. But at the same time, looking at what we can do to improve those chances, and really now I think we've all been shown like, OK, there's such an importance on cycle breaking and stuff that isn't quote unquote big traumas, right?
21:54
I never dealt with big traumas. And so it was really hard for me to unpack why I was patterning the way I was because at the time all the kind of chatter was like, well, if this happened to you and this happened, like, well, I didn't have any of that. So I should be fine. I'm fine. Like I was fine. Right, right, right.
22:15
Yeah, kind of like that. I don't want to complain. All these other people had, you know, such bigger issues and then we kind of stuff ours down and don't deal with them at all. But you're right. And on the side of, know, your children watching you pattern of what a lot of people don't understand, too. And it goes back to this that saying kids do as you do, not as you say. And it goes a deeper level of like they'll do your frequency. So if you have a little girl.
22:43
that picks up on your frequency that you're body shaming or that you don't think you're beautiful, but you continuously tell that little girl or boy, right? They're beautiful, they're this, they're that. And you're like, but I've told you your whole life you are, why don't you believe you are? Well, they're just picking up on that frequency and that energy of what you're running in. And that's when I started unpacking like, oh,
23:10
That's why, you know, with my mom, she didn't have a very good relationship with her mom. My whole life, she really said out loud, my mom doesn't love me. She was a daddy's girl. And so even though I had a completely different relationship with my mom and dad, they didn't kind of parent the same way her their parents did. I was a daddy's girl and I had resentment to my mom for zero reasons. Right. And I just when I became conscious and I was trying to like work this out, I was like, oh, because
23:40
No matter what you said or did, you truly believe and ran that energy and frequency that really all women were bitches, they weren't safe, my mother didn't love me, and I had to unpack all of that for the both of us. And so that's the generational breaking of the cycles of those little minute things that you've probably seen having four children and different experiences with each of them. Yeah.
24:09
For sure, body image was a huge one for me as well. I was like, oh Lord help me, because I do not want my girls to think about themselves like I did. That just breaks my heart. So that was a huge emotional, spiritual journey for me. And it took me a long time to, and honestly learning about health helped me, because I used to think about health, was like, if I'm skinny, I'm healthy.
24:36
That's what I thought. Like, can tell you that's not true. I know. Like growing up in like the low fat 90s, you know, of like weight watchers, I was like, that's, that's what I thought health was. And then now that since I've learned about what health really is, I get I mean, I know so many thin people who are terribly unwell. Right. And so help under knowledge is what I'm saying. Knowledge really is powerful tool.
25:03
So if you're those areas that you're struggling with, like there are probably resources out there where if you could get yourself more educated and more informed, it would really help you break out some of those cycles too. Yeah, gaining. mean, because we're I think a lot of women listen to their type A, they want the information, more knowledge, more, more, more, you know, sometimes you have to satisfy that conscious brain to allow yourself to because if I sit here and I tell you it's subconscious.
25:32
All you have to do is identify the emotion, flip the emotion to a positive, do some cross brain, do breath work, go for a hike, sit in silence. Most of you will be like, absolutely not. Like, I need the science. And I was like that too. And that's like, you know, how we get all of our information. And I'm at this point, I'm like, I don't care anymore. Like, give me fairies, give me give me angels. Like, just make it simple because
25:59
Sometimes all that knowledge in the world keeps you in the same pattern of searching for more and more. And then when you're asked to say, here's the right path, just pretend I know 100%. That's the diet for you. That's the mindset work. That's What where people struggle and it'd be I would like your opinion on this too, is the mundane-ness of motherhood.
26:25
when you are type A overachiever go go go, that was the hugest slap in the face for me. Like I have 20 years early education. I was supposed to be Mary Poppins. I was supposed to be the Pinterest mom. And I struggled, especially after my second was born. So my two are about two years apart. So when you have two, it's definitely a different game as well. I struggled.
26:51
I struggled to be present. I struggled to be the mom that I wanted to be because my whole nervous system was like, nope, too boring, too slow, too mundane. You know, if I have to clean that damn high chair one more time, I'm gonna, you know. Yeah. So what was your kind of awakening with that? All right, y'all, we are going to end it there. You know, I like to keep it short and sweet. So we will see you next week.
27:20
for the second half of Militia's interview. Have a beautiful Friday and we'll see you the following Friday. Have a beautiful weekend as well. Thank you once again for tuning in and becoming the conscious mama you were born to be. Remember, I wasn't some magical unicorn who stumbled into fertility success. I stayed consistent. I put in the work and I made it happen. And guess what? You can too. And I have something for my loyal podcast listeners, but here's the key.
27:50
This is only for women who are feeling burnt out, frustrated, and stuck in the cycle of endless research. And you're at a point where you are screaming, I have tried everything, why isn't this working? This only works for women who are ready to take a radical responsibility for their journey and start listening to their body's innate wisdom. Because deep down, you know you can heal.
28:18
and achieve your ultimate goal. If that's not you yet, that's okay. Not everyone is ready yet to show up with ease, deeply connect to their energy, unlock subconscious patterns, and listen to their body's ability to come into full coherence. But for those who are ready, I'm offering something I only do with my paying clients, and this is a fertility breakthrough session.
28:44
This is the first thing I do even before I start really deeply working with someone in a coaching package. It's a deep dive session where we look at exactly where you are right now, what's keeping you stuck and the easy shifts that can change everything. But fair warning, these sessions are very limited and go fast. So if you're interested in checking out my superpower for uncovering exactly what's been overlooked, jump into one of these
29:14
free calls. They're deep, they're intuitive, and they're game changing. The only way you can access this is if you actually personally message me. You can do it on your favorite platform, IG, TikTok, or at my personal email, monica at findingfertility.co, not dot com because they wanted $3,000 for the M with just one word. And that word is dreams, obviously.
29:42
D-R-E-A-M-S and I'll make sure you get that link right away. Remember, this transformation happens when you stay committed to yourself. Trust your body, follow your intuition, make it possible. The links that you need are down below and if you are still here and you absolutely love this podcast, please take some time and leave me a review and help other women like you.
30:09
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