Finding Fertility Pregnancy Success Over 35 with Ainsley Part One
You’re doing all the things. Prenatals lined up like soldiers on the counter. Perfect ovulation tracking app. Gluten-free, dairy-free, fun-free diet. And yet every month? Another period, another ugly cry on the bathroom floor.
I see you. I’ve been you. And here’s the brutal truth no one in the white coats will tell you: most of the time, it’s not actually a “fertility issue.” It’s your body screaming for safety, healing, and maybe—just maybe—less control-freak spiraling.
So let’s unpack what’s really going on behind fertility burnout and why IVF trauma, supplement overload, and nervous system chaos might be keeping you stuck.
Gut Health, Not “Infertility”
One of my clients was told flat-out: “You have fertility issues.” Spoiler alert: she didn’t. She had a raging parasite from hiking the Inca Trail. Her gut was a dumpster fire, and her body wasn’t about to sign up for pregnancy duty while fighting infections.
Your gut is mission control for hormones, inflammation, and cellular health. If it’s overrun with parasites, food sensitivities, or just plain stress, good luck convincing your body it’s safe to grow a baby.
“You don’t have fertility issues; you have a gut health issue.”
The Obsession Spiral
Let’s talk about that supplement suitcase you might be lugging around. CoQ10, iron, quercetin—oh my. One client had an entire packing cube of vitamins that smelled like a GNC warehouse.
Here’s the kicker: the more obsessed she became with protocols, the further she spiraled into fertility burnout. Every graph, every blood test comparison, every new protocol was just feeding the nervous system chaos. And a frazzled nervous system doesn’t make space for life.
IVF Trauma and the Timeline Myth
Maybe you’ve already walked through IVF trauma—needles, failed transfers, and the crushing weight of “why isn’t my body working?” Here’s the BS no one tells you: it’s not always about “working harder.” It’s about recognizing that your timeline is not the boss.
Your baby doesn’t care that you penciled them into the calendar for Q4. Your body is wiser than your planner, and until you release that death grip on control, you’re stuck in the chaos comfort zone.
“Your timeline isn’t running the show, your body is.”
Nervous System Reset = Fertility Reset
Think of your nervous system as the bouncer at the club. If you’re living in a constant fight-or-flight loop—tracking, testing, stressing—no one’s getting in. Not even your future baby.
That’s why emotional regulation practices like breathwork, surrender rituals, or even just sitting on a rock by the water (true story from the podcast) are game-changers. They signal safety. And safety is the secret invitation your body needs to open the doors.
Proof That Life Finds a Way
One of my favorite re-frames from this episode: instead of looking at other people’s pregnancies as proof of your failure, see them as evidence that life does find a way. Your cells believe what you feed them. Lack or possibility. Scarcity or proof.
When you shift that lens, you stop battling yourself and start rooting for yourself. And that’s the energetic shift that creates space for conception.
Final Takeaway
You are not broken. You’re not behind. You’re not “bad at fertility.” You’re just out of sync with your body’s deeper knowing. The shift isn’t about hustling harder—it’s about reconnecting, healing the root issues, and letting your nervous system exhale.
Because the truth is, your body wants this as much as you do.
Ready to dive deeper into the real story behind this journey? LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE HERE, and let’s rewrite your fertility narrative together.
Connect with Ainsley:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ainsleymoir/
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Listen up, lovelies: Everything I share about health, diet, or fertility magic is my opinion. Yep, it’s all based on years of trial and error, study, reading, listening, and side-eyeing the nonsense out there. What worked for me might be a jackpot for you—or it might be a total flop. Bodies are weird like that. 🤷♀️
Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, or any other kind of licensed health wizard. If you need medical advice, run—don’t walk—to an actual qualified professional. Don’t come back here saying Monique told you to eat kale for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, okay?
As for the products I mention, they’re either what I used during my own infertility rollercoaster or what I wish I’d known about back then. No guarantees, no promises, and absolutely no refunds on your hope budget if it doesn’t work out.
Now that we’ve cleared that up, proceed with curiosity and, above all, discernment. You’ve got this. 💪✨
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today
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Full Transcript:
00:00
Hello beautiful and welcome to the Finding Fertility podcast.
00:10
I'm Monica, your mentor in uncovering the hidden layers of your fertility journey. Together, we'll discover the right path for you within the six essential steps to creating the family of your dreams. We'll ditch the overwhelm, tune into your intuition, and build a vibrant foundation for your fertility. Whether it's through gut health, subconscious healing, or energetic alignment, you can unlock your body's natural power to get and stay pregnant.
00:37
Your fertility journey is all about radical responsibility and deeply believing that your body is on your side. It's time to stay consistent, embrace trust, surrender, and create the transformation you deserve. Fighting fertility does not diagnose, prescribe, or treat any fertility issues. What we do is empower you to take control of your health by uncovering the root causes
01:01
Holding you oh
You are in the course. Oh, you are the Canadian. Oh, you have the gut health issues. I'm so welcome. Thank you so much for coming on and just going to share your wisdom in hindsight of being through this journey and what truly made the difference in your life. Yeah. Happy to come on and share whatever I can to help people on their journey. Well, let's start from the beginning. You obviously were dealing with some fertility issues, but everyone has their unique story. So we would love to hear yours.
01:57
Yeah. So my partner and I were wanting to conceive pre-COVID. We were digitally nomadic. We spent 36 months of the year elsewhere. And 2020 was a year where we were like, okay, we're going to do a six months in Europe and then start with our family. Amazing. It's all going to be great. Obviously pandemic happened and threw out a lot of our travel plans.
02:24
We ended up having to come back really quick from Portugal. We made the decision to come back while everything was closing down. And we made the decision to come back to Canada. Myself, like a lot of people, were feeling very uncertain with everything. And I was just like, this isn't the right time. Let's just wait a little bit longer. So we ended up waiting for a little bit and eventually ended up traveling during the height of the pandemic, I guess. Well, most people were
02:54
You know, locked down, we were also like, hey, you can get sick anywhere. Let's not stall our life. Let's continue to live in. Let's try to get pregnant while on the road. It's amazing. This is going to be great. We were trying for a long time. I think it about a year and a half before we actually ended up getting pregnant. I felt like I was doing all the right things. I'm definitely someone who's very research oriented. So I was like, okay, I'm going to eat this type of diet. And I was making sure I was on prenatal before I was like,
03:23
All right, we're going to get pregnant super quick. And that definitely wasn't the case. It ended up becoming a more challenging than I thought that first month of having unprotected sex or not on birth control. I had flushed my body out of birth control for like six months leading up, like was really trying to, okay, everything is good. And we just thought, okay, it's going to happen so naturally, even though like, you know, not the youngest of people. And it just.
03:51
didn't every month, like I'm sure a lot of people just became harder and harder and tears when you get your period every month. And it just became really hard. Ended up working with the natural path for a while to see what was going on, doing different tests, seeing what was going on. Everything really looked good. So I was starting to just take different supplements and trying different protocols. All were still on the road. And then I ended up getting really sick while we were on the road. I was in Peru.
04:21
and got uh like a lot of people apparently end up getting traveling. I got a parasite from hiking the Inca Trail and that kind of threw my gut. So did my partner. both had real bad gut health after that because we were both dealing with parasites and that obviously was not helping with the fertility piece at all as well. Because now I'm trying to heal my gut and he's trying to heal his gut and it was just like a constant piece of...
04:50
trying to heal the gut while trying to get pregnant. I didn't necessarily see a connection with that at the beginning. Down the road, I was like, okay, clearly something's going on here. All while still traveling too. And I felt like we can maybe get into that. think that that was maybe a piece of why I'm not getting pregnant when we wanted to. Eventually, I joined the program with you and I looked at things a little bit different. I looked at my food sensitivities, worked on my gut a little bit more.
05:20
And then finally, while we were on the road again, which I don't think is a coincidence, I'm pretty sure my children just love to travel as much as we do, ended up finding out that I was pregnant and now have a 17-month-old little girl. Yeah, that's so exciting. like so clearly remember one coaching session that we were having, and I was just like, you don't have fertility issues, you have a gut health issue. And even though maybe it didn't happen with
05:49
ease when you first started. So many women, if they don't get pregnant within that first six months and especially to a year, they're just thrown into, well, you have fertility issues, right? And while that's really not the case for most, there's an underlining issue. And for you, it was really obvious for me that gut health until you really honed in and did what you need to do, it was just going to be more challenging for you to get pregnant.
06:19
But I would like you with the hindsight now of those early months. I mean, I can almost still feel it in my body. Those early months and into years for me of that overanalyzing and the desperation and the sadness of not seeing a positive pregnancy test. And when you're in the thick of it, it's just feels impossible.
06:47
to surrender or let go. Yeah, it really does feel hard to surrender and let go because you are doing all the things. So maybe a lot of women trying to get pregnant, especially like I was 37 when I ended up getting pregnant. So I was 36 when we started. There's so much knowledge out there, which is amazing, great, and extremely overwhelming. What started out with me being like, oh, I'm going to be an informed
07:15
new mother, I'm going to try to, you know, get off birth control before so that that's out of my body. I'm going to be on prenatals before I went to eat the right foods. Great. I'm going to feel good with that. That was it. And then it just started to really creepily like sneak onto each other in terms of, well, you should be taking CoQ10 and you should be taking more iron and you should be taking quercetin and you should be taking this. And the next thing you know, like I'm not even joking.
07:44
Traveling I had a full like I had a full I used packing cube one of those was just full of vitamins and reeked of Vibe carrying them around all the time and take it was like So many vitamins night and day that was one of my big pieces for sure diet was a piece Vitamins were a huge piece and then it just becomes almost like all-consuming and I'm sure everyone can relate because when you want to have a Child and it's not happening It is all-consuming
08:14
in so many ways. It's so all-consuming as well, desperate to make it work. Eventually I ended up trying to release. That was one thing I went through. Trying to release. Okay, Ainsley, you need to not care as much and just release, but I was still so heady about it. There'd be periods where I would go through more of being like, no, I'm truly going to surrender. I had my little spot by Lake Ontario. I in Toronto as my home base. I live really close to the water and would just go and...
08:43
sit on my one rock and look out into the water and try to connect with my little one. And that helped me for a period for sure in terms of knowing it was going to happen eventually. I think that was a big piece too. I was so frustrated that it wasn't happening on my timeline, which I think was a lesson that I needed. Our babies teach us something before they are even here and they teach us so much when they're here. One thing that I really needed to learn was it's not all going to happen on your schedule. You are not in control of this.
09:13
It was really having the belief and faith that it would all work out. I don't think I ever lost that, thankfully, positive in that I knew that it would happen, even if it had to happen from IVF. I was in New York and then went to Mexico for two months. That three month stint, we were doing that and I was like, okay, coming back and I'm doing IVF. Like, cool, that's fine. I surrendered to that. I know what's going to happen. We're going to come back and do IVF. And then I found out I was pregnant. I do think part of that was like the surrendering to however it's going to happen.
09:42
going to happen. never didn't believe that it would happen, but I stopped holding on so tightly to it needing to happen in my way, which I think at the end of the day really did create the space for my little one to say, Hey, okay, yeah, I want to join. you see now some of the patterns that you brought into the journey that you maybe patterned before in your life kind of?
10:07
over analyzing or over achieving or controlling, you know, the outcome of stuff. Oh my gosh. Yes. The like trying to over analyze everything 100 % because it was always, especially when you get, you're getting results. Okay. Let me get results. And like compared to this and this, and I had little, I had little like graphs that I would do in terms of like, okay, here's my blood work this month compared to three months ago. And I would make myself these little graphs and track it all, which for me gives me comfort.
10:34
Trying to control the outcome is definitely a piece that I had to learn to let go of. And you just learn it even more as your mom thinking that you can control it all. That's definitely like a trait that I'm brought in. And I'm still working on that. Absolutely wanting things to happen this way and they're not necessarily going to happen that way. But those were definitely some of the big patterns. really like, yeah, I think really focusing on the end result is probably another big pattern.
11:01
that I had that was driving it was like this end result versus like, what is everything that's leading to it? Like enjoy the journey. When I was pregnant, I definitely embraced that fully. Enjoying the journey, not just focusing on the end result. I became much more release, surrender during all that time. know, breath work became a huge part of my daily practice. I had a natural birth. It was very calm and surrendered so much more. But I think
11:29
That even became easier as I learned to surrender more towards the end of that process of trying to get pregnant. I mean, the reality is that a lot of us either hit rock bottom or just accept, okay, we're going to move into medical assistance. I know you said the travel and the uncertainty of where you were in the times of COVID didn't give you that safety that maybe would have allowed the baby.
11:57
to come in because if you don't feel safe then, you know, when you released that maybe COVID times were a little bit done, safety came back, maybe you had safety in a plan. Talk a little bit about that part of your journey of knowing the difference between feeling safe and not feeling safe with the hindsight, right? Because sometimes it's just hard to see that or even articulate it when you're in the thick of it.
12:26
Yeah. I mean, I got to a point where we were moving every month all across Mexico and South America and doing somewhat extreme sports throughout the way. Hiking, know, very high altitude volcanoes and mountains, scuba diving, surfing, all the things and all exhilarating pieces and love it. And also I recognize that.
12:54
moving every single month, needing to find your bearings. Is the safe down this alley? Hold on, where is the grocery store? Hold on, what's going on here? Like that plays a mental toll. Or so I told myself, plays a mental toll on that feeling of safety. That was definitely a reason why we stopped traveling for a while. We ended up getting sick with the parasites and we weren't getting pregnant on the road. And was just like, you know what, let's just.
13:23
go back and chill at home for a bit, heal our guts and feel that safety at home. Still need to get pregnant at home. So that wasn't really the solution. Even if you feel safe and you're dealing with a parasite, your body's kind of just like, I don't really want to take this on until you're at a certain level. I'm not saying you can't get pregnant. Obviously you can get pregnant. Many people have shown us that that's possible.
13:51
But in your personal journey, when we started working together, that's what really came up obvious for me. You had all the other pieces that we strive for, not perfection, but you were understanding them. And then it was just this kind of like, okay, if I just let everything else go and I just focus on that gut health healing. And like you say, you weren't even done healing. And then you got pregnant.
14:20
It's like I got pregnant while I was on protocol for healing my gut. I had been on previous protocols as well. And then I was on this one and found out I got pregnant. think healing the gut was such a huge piece to it. Surrendering to just like, this is going to happen, how it's going to happen. I'm not going to think that it's not going to happen. Like I truly in my cells believe that that wasn't like some of the times when I'd be like, just surrender, just surrender.
14:47
Like, you're listening, Serena, like, I knew in myself, like, I was going to become a mother. I knew that, that never wavered. I was the type of person who would find inspiration everywhere. I know some people, when you see someone pregnant, it can be heartbreaking. It can cause anger. And for me, I always just leaned into like, oh, there's another proof point that it can happen. That was so key. Like, there's another proof point. Proof was such a huge piece. I just looked for proof throughout the world that life can come.
15:17
in even the most challenging circumstances. I remember we even chatted about gut health being such a huge piece. I went to my rock by the water and there was just like this tiny little like plant coming up from this rock and like this tiny crack. And I'm like, how are you even growing here? This makes zero sense. Life always finds a way if we give it the opportunity. I'm sure like quantum physics or string theory or you know, like biology, cellular, whatever can explain this, but
15:45
Changing the narrative, right? That's the conscious way I can explain it to you guys to make it make sense. Changing the narrative of the outcome instead of looking at things being like, lack. Oh, well, she's pregnant so that means there's not enough babies to go around. Trust me, there is enough souls trying to get to this earth. They come to all different shapes of mothers, right? We do not need to be perfect. But changing that mindset piece of looking for the proof, there it is.
16:15
That is just giving your subconscious mind that, oh, yeah, of course we can do this. And so I personally believe when women are in the thick of this, right? You have to have it in your heart to be a mom, because you would not go through this journey and fail. Cause what we're doing is constantly failing every month and keep going and searching and doing to get yourself to a point of
16:44
really good cellular health, getting yourself to a point of understanding what surrender is, what joy is, what looking at the positive is, not pretending to be positive, looking at the positive. And people who don't want to be moms or people who don't want to achieve certain things, they wouldn't do it. So the fact that you continually showed up for yourself and looked at different areas was
17:12
proof to me that you knew it in your heart. You just knew that it was going to come. And sometimes when it doesn't come as quickly as we want, like you said, your timeline, your expectation, like I was supposed to have at least two kids, if not three before I was 30. I was supposed to bang, bang, bang them out and they were supposed to be twins, right? Like that was my expectation and my journey. So
17:41
to hit 30 and then have to do my first round of IVF and already be three years in the sludge was like, all right, guess I don't control this anymore. It wasn't for me. I didn't learn this stuff. didn't have great podcasts or courses. The fertility industry, even the coaching industry wasn't what it was back then. So yeah, when you gain this knowledge, okay, so what would it be?
18:09
you done differently in your journey or stop sooner? If you would have recognized the pattern and was able to release a little bit sooner, what do you think that biggest one would be? think even though I always knew I'm going to be a mom, I think the releasing the happening on my schedule, like thinking to have any control, letting go of that sooner in terms of, no, I want it to happen this month. Surrendering.
18:39
that a little bit sooner would have helped. Every month when I got my period helped me feel so much better. I'm an eternal like optimist where every month I'd be, this is the, then I'd be so excited and I tell my partner, this is the month I can feel it. I would just try to feel that excitement. And then I, I, when it wouldn't happen, the plunge afterwards versus just
19:08
like true surrender, being like, it's gonna happen. I don't need to like obsess of it, obsess over it. I know that's really hard. And I actually don't know if I had the capacity to not obsess over it back then. It consumed me the first thing when I would wake up, the first, the last thing when I would go to bed. That is what I was thinking about. If I think from an energetic perspective, that's a lot of pressure on my little one. Yourself and your own cells. It's a lot. And I think.
19:33
what we just don't realize in it, it's just gonna be a practice. There's no like magic off switch to surrender, to let go. You just have to consistently show up 1 % better every day and if you don't recognize it, show up 1 % better the next day. You just get to a point if you consistently show up in a different way, then you have the ability to surrender.
19:59
Yeah. ability to let go because like you say, when you're in the thick of it, when you're that white knuckle, no guru is going to be able to get you out of it because that's just not how the human body is wired. Even if you do energetic work behind the scenes, that person in the physical world still has to show up and not check the ovulation app and not test when they're thinking about it. Let's say, okay.
20:28
Yes, baby, you're on the way. I'm going to think about the gardening I'm going to do today. I'm going to think about the gardening I'm doing with my child in two to three years. Really practicing getting out of that internal kind of hellhole, right? It really sucks to still be really negative and down about yourself. And it just is almost like a self-fulfilling process. And when you get your period,
20:56
You already feel like crap anyways, right? Even when you're not trying to conceive, you have that inflammation, low-ness and low energy. So when someone's like, just be happy during that time, you're like, shh. we are going to end there today. You guys know I love these short and sweet. So please come back for next week's second half of Ainsley's journey and story and wisdom. Until then, have a beautiful weekend and we will see you next Friday.
21:25
Thank you once again for tuning in and becoming the conscious mama you were born to be. Remember, I wasn't some magical unicorn who stumbled into fertility success. I stayed consistent. I put in the work and I made it happen. And guess what? You can too. And I have something for my loyal podcast listeners, but here's the key. This is only for women who are feeling burnt out, frustrated, and stuck in the cycle of endless research. And you're at a point
21:54
where you are screaming, I have tried everything, why isn't this working? This only works for women who are ready to take a radical responsibility for their journey and start listening to their body's innate wisdom because deep down you know you can heal and achieve your ultimate goal. If that's not you yet, that's okay. Not everyone is ready yet.
22:20
to show up with ease, deeply connect to their energy, unlock subconscious patterns, and listen to their body's ability to come into full coherence. But for those who are ready, I'm offering something I only do with my paying clients, and this is a fertility breakthrough session. This is the first thing I do, even before I start.
22:42
really deeply working with someone in a coaching package. It's a deep dive session where we look at exactly where you are right now, what's keeping you stuck, and the easy shifts that can change everything. But fair warning, these sessions are very limited and go fast. So if you're interested in checking out my superpower for uncovering exactly what's been overlooked, jump into one of these free calls.
23:11
They're deep, they're intuitive, and they're game changing. The only way you can access this is if you actually personally message me. You can do it on your favorite platform, IG, TikTok, or at my personal email, monica at findingfertility.co, not .com because they wanted $3,000 for the M with just one word. And that word is dreams, obviously, D-R-E-A-M-S. uh
23:40
and I'll make sure you get that link right away. Remember, this transformation happens when you stay committed to yourself. Trust your body, follow your intuition, make it possible. The links that you need are down below. And if you are still here and you absolutely love this podcast, please take some time and leave me a review and help other women like you find this podcast to get the support they need. Help a sister out. Leave a review today.
