Finding Fertility Pregnancy Success Over 35 with Ainsley Part Two
Let’s cut the crap. You’ve done the diets, taken the supplements, maybe even endured rounds of IVF. You’ve done ALL the things. So why are you still staring at a single line? What if the one thing you haven’t tried… is letting go? What if your white-knuckle grip on control is the very energy blocking your baby? It’s not your fault. We’re taught to try harder, not smarter. But what if softening is your secret weapon?
Stop Living in “Control Freak Mode”
If your fertility journey feels like a rollercoaster with no seatbelt, that’s because you’ve been holding too tight. Planning, tracking, obsessing—IVF burnout loves a control freak spiral. It’s called living in the chaos comfort zone, and honestly, it’s exhausting. Here’s the thing: your body responds to how you feel, not how stressed you are about what’s next. Shifting even 1% toward surrender, peace, and joy can change everything. Think of it like rewinding an emotional VHS tape—you get to erase the loops of negativity and replay a story where hope is allowed.
Nervous System Reset Isn’t Optional
Your nervous system has a direct line to your fertility. Years of worry, failed cycles, and emotional guilt wire your neurons for more of the same. Emotional regulation isn’t just fluff—it’s science. A few minutes a day tuning in, grounding yourself, and letting go of fear literally reshapes your biology.
“When you lighten up, you create space for the result you’re seeking. Even if it’s not the result you imagined, your life still has shimmer in it.”
Intuition Is Your Secret Superpower
You’ve probably been told to follow every “expert,” app, and article out there. Newsflash: no one knows your body better than you. Learning to trust your intuition is like installing a GPS that actually works. My clients see dramatic shifts when they start listening to their own signals, not other people’s opinions. The science supports it too—intuition sharpens with practice, and the more you use it, the easier big decisions become, from fertility treatments to birth choices.
“Every time I didn’t listen to my intuition, my journey was longer, more expensive, more heartbreak. Follow your body. It knows what to do.”
Final Takeaway
Here’s the brutal truth: infertility doesn’t define you. IVF burnout doesn’t make you weak. Your journey isn’t a reflection of your worth—it’s a reflection of how disconnected you’ve become from your own wisdom. The shift? Stop outsourcing your power. Reconnect with your body, your intuition, and the joy you deserve along the way. Miracles aren’t about perfection—they’re about creating space for possibility.
Ready to see what your body has been trying to tell you? LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE HERE and start your fertility breakthrough today.
Connect with Ainsley:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ainsleymoir/
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Listen up, lovelies: Everything I share about health, diet, or fertility magic is my opinion. Yep, it’s all based on years of trial and error, study, reading, listening, and side-eyeing the nonsense out there. What worked for me might be a jackpot for you—or it might be a total flop. Bodies are weird like that. 🤷♀️
Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, or any other kind of licensed health wizard. If you need medical advice, run—don’t walk—to an actual qualified professional. Don’t come back here saying Monique told you to eat kale for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, okay?
As for the products I mention, they’re either what I used during my own infertility rollercoaster or what I wish I’d known about back then. No guarantees, no promises, and absolutely no refunds on your hope budget if it doesn’t work out.
Now that we’ve cleared that up, proceed with curiosity and, above all, discernment. You’ve got this. 💪✨
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today
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Full Transcript:
00:00
Hello beautiful and welcome to the Finding Fertility podcast.
00:10
I'm Monica, your mentor in uncovering the hidden layers of your fertility journey. Together, we'll discover the right path for you within the six essential steps to creating the family of your dreams. We'll ditch the overwhelm, tune into your intuition, and build a vibrant foundation for your fertility. Whether it's through gut health, subconscious healing, or energetic alignment, you can unlock your body's natural power to get and stay pregnant.
00:37
Your fertility journey is all about radical responsibility and deeply believing that your body is on your side. It's time to stay consistent, embrace trust, surrender, and create the transformation you deserve. Fighting fertility does not diagnose, prescribe, or treat any fertility issues. What we do is empower you to take control of your health by uncovering the root causes holding you back. Let's do this together.
01:04
Happy Friday, y'all. Welcome back to another episode of Finding Fertility. I'm your host, Monica Cox, and I'm completely honored you are here with me, becoming the conscious mama you were born to be. Today we have Ainsley's second half. I hope that you're finding this supportive. I know sometimes this information and topic can be really hard to listen to when you're in the thick of it, but if there is one thing I wish
01:33
everyone on earth could do is just learn a little bit from other people's mistakes. I know we have our own journey. I know that we don't hear the message until we're ready, but I know for me, um about a year or so ago, I decided to make it my new reality that I was going to learn one quicker from my own mistakes and to take on other people's wisdom.
02:03
that they gained from their own mistakes. So I hope that these episodes have been supportive and inspirational. So without further to do, let's get to today's episode. Really practicing getting out of that internal kind of hellhole, right? It really sucks to still be really negative and down about yourself.
02:28
And it just is almost like a self-fulfilling process. And when you get your period, you already feel like crap anyways, right? Even when you're not trying to conceive, you have that inflammation, low-ness and low energy. So when someone's like, just be happy during that time, you're like, shh. When we had gone from traveling, traveling, okay, great. We're going to conceive that way. Didn't happen. Came back. Let's get really healthy and get pregnant. That didn't work either.
02:55
And then we got to a point where it was just like, we're going to go live our life and go away for three months, just like we always did. And then we're going to come back and we're going to do IVF or we're going to like, we're just going to keep trying. But when I let go of this is the way it's going to happen. And I just truly released and like just went and lived my life in the way that sets my soul on fire. think that's when my little one was just like, Oh my gosh, yes, this is the family I want to join. Of course I've been waiting to come back to that core.
03:24
I wasn't obsessing about it all the time because I was doing things that truly made me feel alive. And it's really easy to do the things. Oh, I really like art. So let me do art to get into that versus just truly losing yourself in the flow of whatever life is. I think that's easier for you to manage everything for yourselves and for the little one to want to come. I really think that's such a huge piece of why it happened, when it happened and how it happened.
03:54
Yeah, exactly. Listening to your story now, knowing, you know, working with you a few years ago, I feel like you didn't have a, like, I know you felt like your journey was long, but you know, there's some of us out there five, eight, 10 years, multiple failed IVFs. But looking at my journey, there was such a large part of it that I was in victim mode and that I was in a negative spot.
04:22
and the dooms gloom. And I think like you say, that plays a part of it. What I'm seeing in the field now is that that's at an ultimate low. Like so many people don't even have a glimmer of joy in their life, not because they aren't financially free or have a great job or partner, you know, have the things that you think you should have, even like cellular health, like, you know, they have the things, but they're so just
04:53
got like hijacked by this reality that I don't want to say it's made up, right? Like you're really living through this time, but you contributed unknowingly to how long you were in it because it was more negative, more lack, more of that than having that even working towards surrender, peace and joy in your life.
05:22
And as you know, the science is out there with the neurons that fire wired together and you just get yourself deeper and deeper and deeper. And so you create this reality with the failed IVFs. For me, I'd never saw a positive pregnancy test for five years and two failed IVFs. Like I was justified for not believing it would never happen sometime. And so that's why I say when you have it in your heart and you're willing to keep going. And if you can just shift 1 % going that way.
05:51
I think that's when you see your journey all of a sudden just become radically different. Most of the time, most people see the rainbow, right? They get their baby. And it's a combination of you did cellular health, you showed up for yourself, you fixed your gut health, but you just shift that energetic alignment a little bit more. And I think that can extend or shorten your journey dramatically.
06:19
Absolutely. think that plays such a huge role. it's like you said, it's not perfection. It's just a little bit better. It also just makes like, still need to live your life as you're trying to get pregnant. And I thought about it all the time. It's really hard. But if there is a way in hindsight to find that period more enjoyable, I mean, it's still your life, right? You still want to enjoy that period as well. Even though you're wanting this one thing, it's like, you can still not have it be also.
06:49
consuming and I know that's hard. hindsight, I wish I could have done that earlier. For me, it was when I truly did the things that lit me up and allowed me to live true to me, that it allowed my brain to like, I'm going to be more okay with this. While the body things were obviously happening too, and years of work before that, both from a health perspective and a mental perspective, it does have a really huge piece and it's not perfection, it's just...
07:16
like a little bit better, make your life a little bit easier during that time. know that between my first miscarriage and my IVF baby, I was still using medical assistance. And at this stage, my gut health was still poor. We just found out that I had the high natural killer cell. So I was on a mission to heal the gut. My husband got posted again and we ended up just having like nine weeks in this little village called Rossniga in North Wales on the beach. And it was the best summer on history.
07:46
Right? So if anyone knows North Wales, it's pretty dire weather most of the time, even during the summer. And all I did, because I didn't have a job, right? I had to quit my job because we moving to Lincolnshire. And I did my five minute gratitude journal daily. I was really into knitting, crocheting, and felt books. And it was all centered around kids because my job was early education at that time.
08:13
And that's all I did. I remember looking back, I wasn't breaking a pattern. I was just in a certain era of my life. The patterns came back hard after my second kid was born and we moved to Hawaii. I know that dramatically improved my whole mental, emotional, and cellular health well-being. I was able to move to Lincolnshire and continue that piece. My husband and I decided I wasn't going back to work.
08:42
We were going to do the last frozen embryo transfers and see what happens, right? And yes, I got success, but I want people to also know that there was a big failure in between that as well. And whether you want to look at it that way or not, I don't, but you can say, you know, pregnancy miscarriage again, and then the natural pregnancy. There was no rhyme or reason for that. My twins, you remember I was supposed to have twins.
09:11
It didn't work out. It was perfect. The means of using drugs. That was hard to say, okay, that was the end of the journey, end of this, you eight years. And then all of a sudden something I thought would never happen, happened. And that's why I always say the reality that you're in now can literally not be the reality you're in in six months. Yeah, absolutely. And to have that mindset of
09:38
Moving forward with joy and peace and love that surrender and lock to control when you get there that's when I personally think miracles can happen because You just open space for it. Mm-hmm Yeah, I totally agree I think you're right with that word choice of just opening space for it is really key and you're holding on to everything so tight trying to control everything and just focusing on the Negativity, it's a heavy piece, right? But when you just lighten up, I remember
10:08
You said something on my podcast about being like, you are glitter. I cannot tell you how many times I'm walking around these days, just like I'm glitter. That is a beautiful way to imagine yourself being so light. But it's like, yeah, that lightness does create more space to hopefully give you the result that you're seeking. Right. And I also understand that might not be the result that everyone gets, but at least then it's still a period of your life that has some shimmer in it.
10:38
Absolutely. No one can guarantee results, right? IVF, medical system, holistic coaching, whatever. At the end of my journey, it was a matter of being proud and able to move on from infertility. I've said it a few times before, you can go Google and there'll be articles that pop up saying, I have children, but I still deal with infertility. And those women just brought the mindset with them. get it. Part of my, well, I would say my main mission.
11:06
The baby's the cherry on top for me, for you guys. And my life too. As a mother, it didn't end with the two pink lines. It didn't end with giving birth to your kid. There's another whole host of issues, challenges, joys and loves that no man you'll compare you for. Even me sitting here saying, well, X, Y, and Z, you're like, whatever, that won't be me. And I'm like, okay, I thought the same thing.
11:36
Mary Arlen, that was not Mary Arlen. And it's because the words I said earlier is the patterns, right? And so when we are talking about creating conscious mamas, I want you to have the consciousness. So when something pops up, you can be like, okay, that didn't feel right. That doesn't make sense. I shouldn't have behaved like that.
12:00
My kid has this element, my doctor says, it's nothing, just keep taking antibiotics. That doesn't feel right for me. I'm going to go research something else. And having that consciousness to move through, I feel like there's a really uh difficult society that we live in with, like you said, the over choice. There's so many choices and opinions and directions that you can go. I know our ancestors had hard times, right? Droughts and no food and all that kind of stuff, but
12:29
There was only very minimum choices. Like you got up, you worked, you harvest the field, you went and hunted, you gathered, you had community, right? Like now it's like, what grocery store do I go to? I have four in my vicinity. Which one's the- Like decision fatigue is such a real thing for everything. And like the internet is just amazing and horrible when you are dealing with trying to get pregnant.
12:58
And then when you aren't pregnant too, my patterns all came back when I was pregnant. Like I had worked so hard, maybe not all, but I had done like a lot of work, but they would still pop up. One of the things that I got to probably about midway through my pregnancy at some point, and then definitely towards the end was I shut out anything that I did not think would serve me. I didn't want to Google anything. I didn't want to hear, don't tell me your traumatic birth story. Anything that doesn't serve me. I just followed my intuition and
13:28
listened to my core so much. And that's just become, once I became a mother, too, just became way stronger in terms of just, cool, society saying this doesn't feel right to me. Not gonna do it. Like consciously choosing your own path there that 100 % needs to happen when you are trying to conceive. Because some people told me that while I was in my journey of trying to get pregnant, they were like, Ainsley, if there are things that just feel right, just...
13:58
Or that don't feel right, just listen to your body because I regret not listening to my body. Body knows it is telling you, listening to it, the good, the bad and the ugly, like really listening to intuition is so key, like so key. my gosh. absolutely. In this age of knowledge, having your intuition and your discernment as your best friend is what's going to make your journey cheaper.
14:26
shorter, smoother, more graceful. Every time I didn't listen to my intuition, my journey was longer, more expensive, more heartbreak. I knew certain things and I didn't know how I knew them. I was like, but I'm not the expert. I'm just going to listen to this. I was like, step into that era. I know I'm doing everything that I can, so I don't need to listen to anyone else. I'm going to stand in my truth. And even when you go in to use medical assistance, this is
14:55
what I want people to know in their bones, you're going in with empowerment. You're not going in with fear. Because if you're going in with fear because of your age or diagnosis, whatever they're saying, you are going to be tense. It's just going to be more dramatic on you physically, mentally, emotionally, and potentially financially. Slowing down and...
15:21
really tapping into that is your ultimate superpower. Most of us women were never taught that. We didn't grow up with mothers who had intuitions. They did have intuitions, they didn't know it either. Various tin hat theories as to why. Pick which one you wanna resonate with. But yeah, mean, intuition and discernment is something that I deeply teach now and I think that is what is gonna get you your ultimate results because
15:50
Even as a coach who knows the gut health and endocrine system, if I tell you something and if it doesn't feel right, follow that and let's figure out what feels right for you. Or you might look back in hindsight and go, oh, you were right. I was just in fear. that's a big piece, I think, for people to be able to discern the difference between intuition and right. And our intuition only gets stronger the more we use it.
16:15
I don't know if you're into human design, but for me, that's been a huge piece, just building up that intuition over the years and following it, even if it's for something simple at the beginning. What do you want for dinner? What do you truly want for dinner? Is it this or not? This avocado is going to go bad. Should I have it? No, no, no. Like, what do you really want to have? And just tapping into it as much as you can for the little things, like bigger things, become easier. During pregnancy, during labor, becoming a mother, that intuition just became...
16:45
so much more important. exactly. I had two emergency C-sections, but my second one, I labored naturally for eight hours, didn't work. They gave me morphine that didn't work. And so I had to go in for an emergency. The morphine wore off and they didn't give me gas or air for like 15, 20 minutes. By the I got into the ER, my whole body was shaking because I was in so much pain because I was having like 30 second contractions at that point. And they try to come with a needle.
17:13
give me the epidural. I was the freak in the room. I was like, you are not touching me until you give me gas and air and I can calm my body down. And everyone thought I was mental. But I just knew with every core of my body that there was such a high risk of them paralyzing me and shit going wrong. Trying to stick a needle into a shaking woman, I had the ability to use the gas and air and calm my body down where I wasn't shaking epidural, everything went fine, you know, all that stuff.
17:42
If you don't have that empowerment inside of you and you're just, you know, I'll follow what you say, like that's when shit goes down. Totally. That is where that internal work leading up to your pregnancy is so key because it shows up there, right? You were tuned into that. Otherwise you could have just been like, okay, yes, let's do it. And who knows what would have happened? I remember my midwife trying to, she would not listen to me. I decided I was going to deliver in a hospital.
18:10
Even though was doing a water birth, was like, well, I want to deliver in a hospital. My brain knowing like, okay, you want to feel the safest as you can be is going to give you natural birth. I'm going to feel the safest there. She was like, all of a sudden someone who was all, yeah, I'm going to support you. You're all natural. Everything went all medical. Oh, I need to check you for this. Oh, you need to do a COVID test for this. I'm like, I just went into transition right now. You're not doing any, I'm getting into this tub. Well, I don't know if I can let you in a tub. And I was just like, what? It was crazy, but without me knowing.
18:40
what was true for me. I could have very easily gone out of that state of feeling safe and secure and allowing everything. very fortunate I had a very seamless, easy birth. If I didn't have that intuition and worked on that before, I could have very easily gotten out of that. I probably wouldn't have had that same smooth birth. That's unfortunately why way more women have more traumatic births than there needs to be.
19:06
because of some the medical interventions that can happen and us not focusing on those pieces leading up to it. Yeah. That can just help us feel more secure with it. And using this time to practice that without children around, without the distractions and understanding like if you feel that you're not being productive or you're not doing anything when you're resting, when you're listening to your intuition, when you're sitting underneath the tree getting still,
19:36
You know, that's a nervous system issue. That's dysregulation. And that's when you need to look at the deeper core issues of what's going on and figure out, okay, what modality do I need? How do I need to support myself? Because these things come, I think we're all led into this false reality that things come quickly and easily. Think of the first 10 years of your life. Like you had to do a lot of study, a lot of work.
20:02
To read and write, you know, taking care of your energetic and emotional world. None of us were taught that. So this is just a huge learning curve because it's obviously much easier to learn when you're little, but when you're bigger, your conscious brain is going be like, no, that doesn't have science. That doesn't make sense. That doesn't feel safe. Thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story. Maybe share your new podcast that's coming out and where our listeners can find you.
20:31
Well, thanks for having me on first of all, so excited to share this story and if it can be a little glimmer of hope for everyone, I love to be able to pass that on. I was so excited to have you on my podcast, The Mother Founders Podcast. It is a show all around showing women what it can look like to have your own sovereignty and live freedom led lives when it comes to motherhood, when it comes to business and when it comes to your health overall.
20:55
women who are mothers who are doing life differently, not necessarily following the mainstream narrative of it needs to happen this way. Your life needs to look like all the different things. Motherhood needs to look like this. Business needs to look like this. It is a space for mothers who are leading freedom led lives and doing it differently to hear the stories, get inspiration, and just know that they're not alone. Even if it feels like you're the wacky tinfoil hat wearing or odd one out, mama out there.
21:22
If you're here listening to this podcast, you probably already feel that way. It's a nice transition after Baby is born to go into that group. I think there's more of us popping up. know, a lot more people are just seeing it's not working. There's got to be a different way. You know, it's not working for us. It could work for other people. And that's great. All that information is down in the show notes. Thank you once again for being here. Thank you once again for tuning in and becoming the conscious mama you were born to be.
21:51
Remember, I wasn't some magical unicorn who stumbled into fertility success. I stayed consistent. I put in the work and I made it happen. And guess what? You can too. And I have something for my loyal podcast listeners, but here's the key. This is only for women who are feeling burnt out, frustrated, and stuck in the cycle of endless research. And you're at a point where you are screaming, I have tried everything. Why isn't this working?
22:21
This only works for women who are ready to take a radical responsibility for their journey and start listening to their body's innate wisdom. Because deep down, you know you can heal and achieve your ultimate goal. If that's not you yet, that's okay. Not everyone is ready yet to show up with ease, deeply connect to their energy, unlock subconscious patterns, and listen to their body's ability to come into full
22:50
coherence. But for those who are ready, I'm offering something I only do with my paying clients and this is a fertility breakthrough session. This is the first thing I do even before I start really deeply working with someone in a coaching package. It's a deep dive session where we look at exactly where you are right now, what's keeping you stuck, and the easy shifts that can change everything.
23:17
But fair warning, these sessions are very limited and go fast. So if you're interested in checking out my superpower for uncovering exactly what's been overlooked, jump into one of these free calls. They're deep, they're intuitive, and they're game changing. The only way you can access this is if you actually personally message me.
23:40
You can do it on your favorite platform, IG, TikTok, or at my personal email, monica at findingfertility.co, not .com because they wanted $3,000 for the M with just one word. And that word is dreams, obviously D-R-E-A-M-S. And I'll make sure you get that link right away. Remember, this transformation happens when you stay committed to yourself.
24:09
Trust your body, follow your intuition, make it possible. The links that you need are down below. And if you are still here and you absolutely love this podcast, please take some time and leave me a review and help other women like you find this podcast to get the support they need. Help a sister out. Leave a review today.
