The Hidden Reason Fertility Stalls Even When You Do Everything Right During IVF & Infertility

I did everything right.

The diet was clean. The supplements were precise. My gut health was dialed in. I understood mitochondria and cellular health. I knew that egg quality was not random and that your body is not frozen at thirty just because someone in a white coat says it is.

My fertility journey was extremely physical in the beginning. When I was told at thirty that I had low egg quality and there was nothing I could do about it I did not accept that. That was mitochondria. That was inflammation. That was cellular health. That was something I could work with.

And I did.

I got pregnant at thirty six. Not by accident. Not by miracle. By rebuilding my body.

But that was not the end of the story.

It was more than ten years deep into functional medicine when I was sitting on my staircase and a surge of emotion moved through me so fast and so violently that I was sick instantly. No warning. No food trigger. No infection.

Just emotion.

And in that moment something cracked open. Because I was still living like the perfect student of health. The perfect diet. The perfect supplement protocol. The perfect routine. And yet my body reacted like it was under threat.

That was the day I knew there had to be more than the physical game.

You are not going to energetic your way out of damaged mitochondria. That is true. Gut health matters. Hormones matter. Nutrient density matters. You cannot bypass biology.

But you also cannot supplement your way out of subconscious blocks that are running your nervous system.

The Loop No One Warns You About

When you are in this journey you will taste success.

Your labs improve. Your cycles regulate. You feel stronger. Maybe you even get pregnant.

And then something pulls you back.

The same thoughts. The same patterns. The same environment. The same internal pressure.

With or without a baby.

That is the part that feels cruel. Because you think if you just do more you will finally get the outcome your effort deserves.

But fertility does not respond to effort the way a career does.

There is a certain flavor of fertility burnout that comes from doing everything right and still not seeing the result. It is not laziness. It is not ignorance. It is over functioning.

The body eventually mirrors that.

You can clean up your gut health and still live in hyper vigilance. You can optimize cellular health and still run a mindset rooted in control. You can heal inflammation and still hold a nervous system that does not feel safe.

And the system will pull you back into the same loop.

Not because you are failing.

Because there is a deeper layer asking to be seen.

The Women Being Called Forward

There is something I have noticed and it is not mystical and it is not superiority.

There are women who feel like they are being called to become an energetic match for a different kind of soul.

Not better. Not enlightened. Not a messiah.

Just not interested in repeating the same unconscious patterns that we inherited.

Some souls do not want to land in chaos. They do not want to land in suppressed emotion and unprocessed trauma and generational stress that no one has touched.

That does not mean you have to be perfect. It does not mean you need to be healed and polished and glowing all the time.

It means there is a refinement happening.

And refinement is uncomfortable.

You can feel it when you say to yourself, I am doing everything right. Why is this not working.

That question is not about food or supplements. It is about frequency. It is about the emotional environment of your body.

When Doing Is No Longer Enough

There was a season where doing was everything.

Track. Test. Supplement. Adjust. Repeat.

That season built my foundation. It repaired my gut health. It strengthened my mitochondria. It restored my hormones.

It mattered.

But it stopped working at a certain point.

Because the pattern underneath the doing was still control.

Still proving.

Still striving.

My subconscious healing began not because I wanted to be spiritual but because my body forced me to confront the fact that I could not control my way into safety.

That staircase moment was not dramatic. It was humbling.

I realized that I could not out perfect my nervous system.

You can create a body that is physically capable of pregnancy and still have a system that is braced.

You can clear inflammation and still carry emotional healing that has not happened.

You can believe in mindset work and still have subconscious blocks that quietly sabotage softness.

The body keeps score in ways that are not always visible on labs.

The Truth That Relieves and Stings

For the woman who feels like she is doing everything right and still not seeing success this is the part that stings.

It does not work that way anymore.

You cannot accumulate enough right choices to guarantee an outcome.

You cannot hustle your way into conception.

There is a shift from force to alignment that has to occur. Not as a tactic. As a lived reality.

Alignment is not passive. It is deeply responsible. It requires you to look at your environment. Your relationships. Your patterns. Your emotional regulation. The way you speak to yourself. The way you brace for disappointment before anything has even happened.

It requires you to ask whether your body feels like a safe place for life to land.

That question is not about worthiness. It is about coherence.

When your thoughts and your physiology are in constant tension your system does not relax into creation. It stays alert.

And alert is not the same as open.

Beyond Physical and Beyond Bypass

There is a dangerous split in the fertility space.

One side says it is all physical. Fix your gut health. Fix your hormones. Fix your cellular health and you will get pregnant.

The other side says it is all energy. Just raise your frequency and trust.

Both are incomplete.

Your mitochondria matter. Your emotional field matters. Your nervous system matters. Your mindset matters.

The woman I was at thirty believed the answer was in optimizing the body. The woman on the staircase realized the body was reflecting something deeper.

It was not about abandoning the physical. It was about integrating the unseen.

There are layers of subconscious blocks that sit beneath perfectionism and hyper independence. Patterns of over responsibility that feel noble but keep the body tight. Emotional healing that has been postponed because there was always another test to run.

When those layers begin to soften something shifts.

Not always instantly. Not always dramatically.

But the loop loses its grip.

You stop asking why am I not getting what my effort should produce.

And you start asking who am I becoming in this process.

There is no finish line here. Just a steady refinement.

Cellular health and subconscious healing are not opponents. They are partners.

And when both are tended with honesty instead of performance the body responds differently.

Not because you forced it.

Because it no longer feels like it has to fight you.

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica 

Listen up, lovelies: Everything I share about health, diet, or fertility magic is my opinion. Yep, it’s all based on years of trial and error, study, reading, listening, and side-eyeing the nonsense out there. What worked for me might be a jackpot for you—or it might be a total flop. Bodies are weird like that. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, or any other kind of licensed health wizard. If you need medical advice, run—don’t walk—to an actual qualified professional. Don’t come back here saying Monique told you to eat kale for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, okay?

As for the products I mention, they’re either what I used during my own infertility rollercoaster or what I wish I’d known about back then. No guarantees, no promises, and absolutely no refunds on your hope budget if it doesn’t work out.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, proceed with curiosity and, above all, discernment. You’ve got this. 💪✨

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today 

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Full Transcript:

00:00
My fertility journey was extremely physical. My gut health got pregnant actually at 36. When I was told at 30 that I had low egg quality and there was nothing I can do about it. That's physical. That's the mitochondria. That's your cellular health. That's still extremely important. You are not going to energetic your way out of that. It was 10 years, probably more than 10 years.

00:30
after being neck deep in functional medicine that I sat on my staircase and a big bout of emotion and energy raged through our house and I was sick instantly. Boom. And it was then and there that I was like, there's gotta be more to the physical game because I'm perfect. The perfect diet, the perfect supplements.

00:59
And I'm still getting symptoms that I shouldn't be getting. When you're in this journey, you're going to have levels of success and then pulled right back into the same pattern, same loop, same thoughts, same environment with or without a baby. And I think there's just a certain amount of women, especially being called forward to become

01:29
an energetic match to a soul that doesn't want to come down and deal with the bullshit. Not better. Not a messiah. They just don't want the bullshit that the rest of us had to endure and had to alchemize. No, that doesn't mean that they're not going to come to a level of real fuché. You don't have to be pervade. But for everyone who feel like I'm doing everything right,

01:57
Why don't I have the success that the doing should produce? It doesn't work that way anymore.