The Real Reason You're Still Stuck on Your INFertility IVF Journey | Radical Responsibility Truths

I was stuck in infertility BS for years.

Not because I was not trying.
Not because I was not doing the physical work.
Not because I did not care enough.

I was stuck because I refused to take radical responsibility for my own bullshit.

If I could go back to 27 when this journey started I would sit that girl down. She would not listen. She was convinced she was doing everything right. She was convinced life was being unfair. She was convinced everyone else had it easier.

And she had evidence.

Friends getting pregnant on accident. Women announcing babies with no gut health work no supplements no breathwork no emotional healing. Meanwhile I was tracking ovulation eating clean going to appointments and still not pregnant.

The story on replay was simple.

Why me.
I am doing everything right.
This should be working.
It is not fair.

That loop kept me physically mentally and emotionally stuck.

Even when I was doing the “right” things my nervous system was living in resentment and comparison. Even when I was supporting my cellular health my frequency was soaked in frustration. Even when I told myself I trusted the process I was gripping the timeline.

You cannot grip and receive at the same time.

The hard truth is this. Your physical body needs time to catch up with your mental and emotional reality. You can do all the gut health protocols you want. You can address high natural killer cells. You can optimize hormones. But if your internal world is constantly rehearsing victimhood your body feels that.

This is not fake it till you make it. You are not pretending to be positive. You are not bypassing pain. You are doing the work.

But you cannot sit in massive victim slumps while claiming you are healing.

You can have a pity party. That is human. You can cry scream rage feel jealous feel angry. That is emotional healing. That is nervous system release. But the moment you realize you are setting up permanent residence in that identity you say no.

We do not live here anymore.

That sentence changed everything for me.

When the jealousy hit I felt it. When the anger surfaced I let it move. When the fear of never becoming a mother clenched my chest I sat with it. But I stopped building a personality around it.

Subconscious blocks are not always dramatic childhood trauma. Sometimes they are daily thought patterns you refuse to interrupt. Sometimes they are subtle habits of comparison and self pity that feel justified.

Every time the old script started playing I had to kick myself out.

Do I need a cookie.
Do I need a hug.
Do I need therapy.
Do I need breathwork.
Do I need to go for a walk and scream in my car.

What do I need right now.

That question is radical responsibility.

Fertility burnout often comes from the belief that you are doing everything right and nothing is working. That belief is heavy. It keeps you scanning for proof that you are the exception. It keeps you obsessing over timelines. It keeps your body in subtle fight or flight.

Your timeline shifts when your internal pattern shifts.

Not because you are controlling the universe. Because your body responds to safety. Because inflammation responds to stress. Because immune function responds to emotional regulation. Because cellular health is influenced by how you live not just what you swallow.

Thought process emotions and actions create your lived experience.

That does not mean you caused your infertility. It means you have influence.

There is a difference.

When I stopped rehearsing the victim story something softened. My external circumstances did not change overnight. I still had failed IVFs in my history. I still had high natural killer cells. I still had a body that had not carried a pregnancy to term.

But internally I was no longer collapsing every month.

I was consistent.

Consistent in catching the spiral.
Consistent in feeling the emotion and not marrying it.
Consistent in asking what do I need right now instead of why is this happening to me.

Consistency is what collapses the old timeline.

You cannot think one empowered thought and expect your reality to rearrange. You cannot do one breathwork session and expect years of stress to dissolve. This is daily. This is boring. This is private.

This is you in your kitchen deciding not to scroll pregnancy announcements and spiral. This is you choosing to go to therapy instead of numbing out. This is you noticing control patterns and loosening your grip.

Radical responsibility is not self blame. It is ownership of your response.

When I finally got pregnant naturally at 36 after being told I could not improve egg quality after failed IVF after immune discoveries it was not because I cracked some secret code.

It was because I stopped living in the identity of the unlucky woman doing everything right and getting nowhere.

I became the woman who shows up for herself no matter what.

That identity changes your frequency. It changes how you walk into appointments. It changes how you speak to your body. It changes the way your nervous system settles at night.

You do not need to be perfect. You do not need to never feel doubt. You just cannot live there.

When the pity party starts you acknowledge it. You feel it. And then you say we do not live here anymore.

That is the shift & what I would tell my 27 year old self.

Your story on replay is either building the future you want or reinforcing the one you say you hate.

Choose carefully.

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica 

Listen up, lovelies: Everything I share about health, diet, or fertility magic is my opinion. Yep, it’s all based on years of trial and error, study, reading, listening, and side-eyeing the nonsense out there. What worked for me might be a jackpot for you—or it might be a total flop. Bodies are weird like that. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, or any other kind of licensed health wizard. If you need medical advice, run—don’t walk—to an actual qualified professional. Don’t come back here saying Monique told you to eat kale for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, okay?

As for the products I mention, they’re either what I used during my own infertility rollercoaster or what I wish I’d known about back then. No guarantees, no promises, and absolutely no refunds on your hope budget if it doesn’t work out.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, proceed with curiosity and, above all, discernment. You’ve got this. 💪✨

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today 

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Full Transcript:

00:00
Until I started taking radical responsibility for my own bullshit, I was stuck in a loop of infertility BS. If I could go back...

00:12
to when I was 27 years old when I started my journey. Mind you, I got pregnant naturally at 36 after they told me that I couldn't improve my A quality, failed IVFs, high natural killer cells were finally discovered. I could go back and tell my 27 year old self who probably wouldn't fucking listen in the first place, this is what I would tell her. That story that you have on replay, the one that you're the victim, the why me, the oh,

00:42
everyone has it so much easier than me. I'm doing all the right things but I'm still not getting pregnant. That story that I put on repeat again and again and again.

00:55
kept me stuck, kept me so physically, mentally, and emotionally stuck. It was ridiculous. Even though I was gonna still live in that reality, that things weren't really working out in my favor as fast as I wanted them to, even though I was quote unquote doing everything right, the reality was your physical body needs time to catch up with your mental reality.

01:25
You know this whole kind of fake it till you make it not really because you're not faking fucking anything You're showing up and you're doing the actual work that it needs to happen But you cannot sit while you're doing the physical work and get into those massive Slumps of victim of right you can definitely have some pity parties like that is no big deal But the moment you find yourself in that pity party you go, okay girl, we're not gonna live here anymore

01:55
Sort out what emotion is keeping you stuck the anger the jealousy the fear the control Sort that shit out. Let yourself feel it scream shout move cry whatever you need to do and say, oh We don't live here anymore And when those thought patterns come again and again and again, you know, they are you're going to consistently Kick yourself out of it Okay, do I need a cookie? Do I need a hug? Do I need a therapy session? Do I need a breath work session? What do I need?

02:25
right now? Do I need to just tell myself we're not going down that rabbit hole anymore? Because I promise you that's what's gonna collapse the reality. That's what's gonna shift the timeline if you consistently show up in a different way. Thought process, emotions, actions. That's what's gonna create your reality and that's what I would have told my 27 year old self.