Unexplained Infertility and IVF Failure. Natural Pregnancy at 36: What I Learned About Egg Quality

I was thirty when I walked into the fertility clinic for my first IVF cycle. I was healthy. I was active. There was nothing obviously wrong with my body. The label they gave me was unexplained infertility. It is a strange phrase when you sit with it long enough. Something is happening, yet no one can explain why.

The IVF cycle revealed low egg quality. That was the first time anyone had pointed to something concrete. The doctor explained the results calmly and confidently. His conclusion was simple. There was nothing I could do to improve the situation. The next step was to try IVF again.

I remember sitting in that room listening. I heard the words. I understood what he was saying. But something inside me stayed very still. It was not resistance or rebellion. It was quieter than that. A kind of inner orientation that did not move.

It felt like listening to someone describe a map that I knew was incomplete.

At that time I did not have an answer. I did not have a plan. I had no research or evidence that I could point to. What I had was a feeling that my body could not be as static as that explanation suggested.

The egg is one of the largest cells in the human body. Cells respond to their environment. This is not a mystical statement. It is simply how life works. Cells listen to signals. They respond to chemistry. They adapt to stress and nourishment and the conditions surrounding them.

An egg does not exist in isolation. It lives inside a body that is constantly communicating with itself.

Over time I began to notice how rarely the whole body was part of the conversation. Fertility was often spoken about as if it lived inside a small isolated corner of the reproductive system. Yet the body does not operate that way.

The hypothalamus communicates with the pituitary. The adrenals respond to stress. The thyroid shifts metabolic signals. The gut interacts with the immune system. The liver processes and filters the environment we move through each day.

None of these systems operate alone.

I did not uncover this quickly. My path was not efficient. It took years of listening, questioning, and piecing things together. I went through another full IVF cycle. Three frozen embryo transfers followed. Two miscarriages. One live birth.

Five years passed between that moment in the doctor’s office and the day I conceived our second son naturally.

Looking back now, the journey itself does not feel like a problem that needed solving. It feels more like a long period of learning how to listen differently.

Not louder listening. Not analytical listening.

Quieter listening.

The kind that happens when you stop trying to force certainty and allow the body to reveal what it already knows how to do.

For a long time I believed fertility was something that needed to be managed carefully and controlled precisely. Many women on this path learn to become extremely skilled managers of their bodies. Tracking. Planning. Calculating. Anticipating every possible outcome.

The effort can feel responsible. It can even feel wise.

But the body often moves at a pace that does not respond to pressure.

It responds to conditions.

Over time I began to see fertility less as a fragile outcome that needed constant management and more as a reflection of the environment inside the body itself. When the environment shifts, the signals shift. When the signals shift, the body begins responding in different ways.

None of this happens overnight. And none of it follows a predictable timeline.

Bodies do not move according to our schedules. They move according to readiness.

When I think back to that moment in the doctor’s office now, what stands out is not the diagnosis or the advice. What stands out is the quiet certainty that something larger was still unfolding.

I did not know what the path would look like. I did not know how long it would take.

But the body is rarely finished speaking when we think the conversation is over.

Sometimes it is simply waiting for us to become quiet enough to hear it.

 Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica 

Listen up, lovelies: Everything I share about health, diet, or fertility magic is my opinion. Yep, it’s all based on years of trial and error, study, reading, listening, and side-eyeing the nonsense out there. What worked for me might be a jackpot for you—or it might be a total flop. Bodies are weird like that. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, or any other kind of licensed health wizard. If you need medical advice, run—don’t walk—to an actual qualified professional. Don’t come back here saying Monique told you to eat kale for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, okay?

As for the products I mention, they’re either what I used during my own infertility rollercoaster or what I wish I’d known about back then. No guarantees, no promises, and absolutely no refunds on your hope budget if it doesn’t work out.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, proceed with curiosity and, above all, discernment. You’ve got this. 💪✨

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Full Transcript:

 I went to go do my first IVF. I was just 30. I was normal, healthy. There was nothing wrong with me, completely unexplained infertility. The IVF exposed, because it's literally right now one of the only ways to expose low a quality in women. The doctors told me that there was nothing I can do to improve my situation and just try IVF again.

You can call it divine God, spirit, team, universe, whatever it was. I sat in that doctor's office and knew that was complete bullshit. I didn't know how, what, why, when, where, but for some reason I was really guided to. Not take their advice and go discover how I can change my situation. Five years later, I got pregnant naturally with our second son, and this was after another full failed IVF.

Three frozen embryo transfers, which ended in two miscarriages and one live birth. My journey was so long because I had to piece all of this together. There were no fertility podcasts, fertility books, um, yeah, very minimal people even linking cellular health autoimmune issues to fertility issues. So what I uncovered, and luckily a ton of other normal day people like me, doctors and holistic practitioners, are putting two to two, two and two together, is that it's all down to your cellular health because your egg is one of the biggest cells in your body and it does not live in a bulletproof case.

It gets highly affected by the environment it's living in your body. So we need to discover where in your body the inflammation and the oxidative stress is occurring. And because your fertility does not work on its own, we look upstream. Your hypothalamus, your pituitary, your penile, your adrenals, your thyroid, your liver, your gut health are some of the top areas that you need to hyperfocus on to improve fertility and boost ate quality.

In my opinion, everyone should take three to six months before trying to conceive naturally or with medical treatment to boost their cellular health, to decrease chances of fertility issues, pregnancy issues, and postpartum issues. And if you're looking for extra guidance and support, there's tons of links in my bio.