When Your Infertility IVF Journey Feels Like It Is Falling Apart Even When You're Doing Everything Right
00:00
Hello beautiful and welcome to the Finding Fertility podcast.
00:10
I'm Monica, your mentor in uncovering the hidden layers of your fertility journey. Together, we'll discover the right path for you within the six essential steps to creating the family of your dreams. We'll ditch the overwhelm, tune into your intuition, and build a vibrant foundation for your fertility. Whether it's through gut health, subconscious healing, or energetic alignment, you can unlock your body's natural power to get and stay pregnant.
00:37
Your fertility journey is all about radical responsibility and deeply believing that your body is on your side. It's time to stay consistent, embrace trust, surrender, and create the transformation you deserve. Fighting fertility does not diagnose, prescribe, or treat any fertility issues. What we do is empower you to take control of your health by uncovering the root causes
01:01
holding you back. Let's do this together. Happy Friday y'all. Welcome back to another episode of Finding Fertility. I'm your host, Monica Cox, and I am completely honored you are here with me, becoming the conscious mama you were born to be. Today we have another sneak peek into a group coaching session. If you have been feeling stuck between who you used to be and who you are becoming, this is the conversation for you.
01:28
And today we're going to go straight into the part of the journey. Most people avoid talking about the messy middle, the part where you feel like your life is a tower of blocks tipping over, even though you have full control with all 10 toes, 10 fingers, your nose trying to keep this tower up. And you are trying to decide if you should grab every falling piece.
01:55
or just let it all fall to the ground and trust that something better is going to be built when you finally surrender. Like I said, this episode comes from a moment inside a group coaching call. One of the members could not show up, so she emailed in, but her question or her concern relates to 100 % of people going through a journey, not only infertility, but in a gross journey.
02:24
when you have finally either hit rock bottom or are so frustrated with the way things are going or not going fine and you decide to dramatically shift, whether that be something physical, emotional, or energetic, there is still this time in your life where you need to build those new neurons, those new habits, those new patterns in the physical.
02:51
And that's why it's so important to have that radical honesty with yourself because we're good at gaslighting ourselves, like really good. So it's in this part of this journey and we're gonna get into the thick of that. Now, before we dive in, I wanna make sure you guys know that if you are not on the email list and you want to jump into either dreams or physical...
03:16
Dreams just has it all. It has the physical, the Gut Health 101, the supplementation, the, all of it. If you've been thinking about it, I run about once or twice a year, special offers that we do group coaching together. And this last group coaching, I actually had a few women go into like mini one-to-one containers. So I've made that offer. You can only get it on the email list.
03:42
So make sure if that's something you're interested in, go and jump on that list and check your emails to make sure that you see that special offer when it comes up. We're going to let this episode speak for itself. And I really hope that when you're listening to it, you can use it as a mirror, use it as a reflection, practice what your body is feeling, what thought patterns come up for you when you're hearing this information.
04:11
And that's where you get to go from. So without further to do, let's get to today's episode. I got our email here. One of the biggest things she's struggling with right now is giving herself grace in the moments when it feels my tower of blocks is falling down, not having everything in place and just allowing myself to witness how the blocks reorganize themselves without judgment. So essentially being okay with letting go of control and not judging myself.
04:40
for it, but instead trying to find freedom, and flow in the transition, not judging ourselves when we're expanding, right? When we're growing, seeing the reality that has been in place, not yet shift for us with the new consciousness or knowledge that we have as we move. And I continue to learn this lesson again and again. I think the most important thing
05:10
I keep telling myself, what are you trying to be the go-duff? They use the go term in sports, like the greatest of all time, striving for these things that we want in life. And it's not seemingly working or we're not getting there quick enough. I always say to myself, what are you trying to be the go-dub? Why are you trying to get somewhere consciously and tangibly faster? You can't.
05:40
just light switch your body. You can't just light switch the decades, the centuries, the past lives, all that. You can't just snap your fingers and it be completely gone. And that's why I say doing this stuff in a fertility journey is so much harder because you constantly have this timeline, this time crunch, this expectation. You've been in it for years. But when the pieces are falling out of place, there's
06:08
Definitely some reflection of, I contributing to those pieces falling out of place or are those pieces falling out of place for my higher good? Do I need to let this whole reality that I have been living in crumble so I can then rebuild? Sometimes we're trying to rebuild in the rubble, which is really frustrating. We want to old structures.
06:35
The need to fall down and yet we're picking up rebuilding and then they crumble down again. It's hard to be like, okay, I'm going to quit my job. I'm going to quit my fam. They're toxic. We don't do that when we're living in reality. We're not Buddhist monks. We choose to be living in this world, in this reality. So it's as simple, but as frustrating as
07:00
When you feel all the pieces are falling apart or if it's not working or you're not figuring things out, you just tell yourself that it's okay. I'm okay with being here. Sitting in that and being okay with it instead of denying that and going, I need to Google this. I need to have a plan. I need to control the situation. What can I do? It's not working. Right? Just that radical honesty of it's not working. I'm showing up. I'm doing all the things they said I should do and it's not working.
07:29
So therefore, fuck it. I'm not gonna do any of those things that aren't in alignment anymore and I'm gonna go paint or I'm gonna go sit underneath a tree or I'm gonna play with my kids or I'm gonna show it for myself differently. And I think that's what we all deal with the most is that we've been so programmed to just, if I can control this situation, if I can do more, if I can try my best, it will work out. And I think when it's not working out and you're being
07:59
really honest with yourself, like the conversation I had with my husband and his health, we're just not at a standard that is optimal. So therefore you're seeing symptoms. Let's just be honest, right? Everyone in this Zoom room right now, you're doing better than 99 % the whole universe and you're showing up for yourself, but you're still judging yourself because you're not where you think you should be or where you want to be.
08:29
And if we just get okay with that not being our reality now, but still showing up for the work, it might feel like it's taking too long. And I guess that's just another expectation we put on ourselves. Just letting that go. What can I do about it? Nothing. I can't do anything about it because what I've been doing isn't working. So what if I just try to do nothing?
08:55
I had this conversation with ChatGVT about Eckhart Tolle. I don't know his full story, but I know that he's famous for sitting on a park bench for quite a long time, like two years. So I asked ChatGVT, what else was he doing? He couldn't just be sitting on a park bench, right? He basically used other people for shelter, for food, for the things that he needed. Isn't that funny? We judge other people and ourselves so hard.
09:24
for not taking care of ourselves, paying our bills, feeding ourselves, all those things. But isn't it amazing that he gave himself space and was able to receive from people and he had people in his life that were willing to take care of him for him to elevate to a space where he could write a book that probably has changed hundreds of thousands of people's lives. Even if you just read that book once and you changed a little bit of yourself. What if we just took that judgment off of ourselves?
09:55
and just showed up how we need to show up. Like I say, we're not going to be the ones sitting on a hard bench. It's not who we maybe even want to be. But how can we bring some of that aspect into our journey of giving ourselves more grace and not judging ourselves so hard? So what can you do in your life to still show up for yourself in this reality? Do the responsibilities that you need to do, but also give yourself grace.
10:25
in this process. Sit on the park bench and do nothing. People think that nothing is the scariest thing, but that is the thing talking about the theta state and the scientists. A lot of those great ideals came from failing doing stuff and then just sitting. I watched my husband, if he tapped into all this stuff, he'd be a Yoda. In his flying career, he would literally sit in the bath, visualize it and just do nothing or have a nap. I have photos of him with a cutout of dials and stuff sleeping.
10:53
It would always frustrate me because he would just sleep all the time and do nothing. And he's like, yeah, the best ideals come to me or I figure it out when I do that. It took me decades to figure that out. And I still struggle to show up that way. But it's the doing nothing and really tapping into the doing. And does that set your soul on fire? Yes. There's going to be times where you have to do things you maybe don't want to do. And am I avoiding this?
11:21
Because I'm fearful of change. It's just a fear of change. Your ego is trying to keep you safe. That's the kind of doing you want to be observant of. Am I avoiding the doing? Thinking is going to give you a result. You're not seeing the result. That's where the radical honesty comes in. This isn't working. The biggest change I saw with reflection is when I got pregnant for the first time, I was living in this little village called Rosneiga in North Wales.
11:51
and I did nothing. I didn't have a job. I had nine weeks to do nothing. I was making a felt book. I knitted myself a sweater and did the five minute gratitude journal. Even after I found out that it wasn't a vile pregnancy, that nine weeks of absolutely doing nothing, I can look back and just think it was some of the most incredible times of my life. The next time that happened to me was when my son was born.
12:20
And I had quite a few months of doing nothing. I've always been an entrepreneur, so I've always had something go in the background. I did nothing with him. I just took care of this baby. And that was just so blissful. And I remind myself again and again, like, when is the happiest times of your life when you're not overachieving? So bringing yourself back down to that void. Sometimes it feels like this void of nothingness.
12:47
The more you practice that, the more you can see that when things are falling apart, you're just like, okay. Like when I had that miscarriage, it wasn't one of the most devastating times of my life. I think that was because I was just in this place of pure surrender and nothingness. Even after that diagnosis, we went to Wimbledon, watched the tennis, I drank some beers, and then I went back to Ross Nygat and I did nothing. I didn't Google shit. I didn't...
13:16
hyper-focus, what's my next step? It was just like, all right, this is just it. But I can only articulate that now. wasn't conscious. I went back into old patterns real quick, but I was just in a time and a space, right? After my first son was born, we had those months together. Then I started feeling the pull of, oh, wow, you're not doing anything, right? Like raising a child, taking care of a baby's not doing anything. It's wild to get pulled back into those things.
13:45
Continue to give yourself grace as you're moving through these. There's so many patterns, autopilot, emotions, energy that you're still unpacking. And I think you'll continue to unpack these things. You just become more aware. You're just, it's like you just observe yourself more and just, no, we're not going back into that. Watch what you're doing. What energy is behind it? What frequency is behind it? Like I say, your fertility is innate. You don't have to do
14:15
anything for fertility. I show up for myself with my diet because I know it boosts my cellular health. I know that it does these things that are going to give me longevity. Show up and be the observer with a different view on life and stop judging. All judgment comes from the mind. There's zero judgment anywhere else. From God, from the universe, from your spirit guides. No one is judging you but you.
14:46
and the dickheads around you all spelt in judgment of themselves. That's where judgment comes from. So the more you can just release that and just be radical. That's where the radical honesty comes in. You're not judging yourself. You're just being honest. That's why people flare up on me, like on the internet when I say something controversial is because they're just not ready for that honesty. They're not ready to look at themselves and go, ah
15:13
Okay, this is how I'm contributing. This is how my actions, thoughts, and emotions contribute to my diagnosis of fertility. Whether that be endometriosis, PCOS, thyroid, all that. Absolutely. And it's such a mind trip because that's not how we were brought up. At all. Like our ancestors, especially wartime and all that, there was a lot of doing that had to happen to survive. But if you think about it, we live in a pretty luxurious time.
15:42
It's pretty crazy, all the ease that we can have in our life. And yet we choose to still struggle. Going back to the story about the bath, right? Our ancestors probably had to think of that, but we don't yet. still take that on. And that's what we have to dissolve, that you see this stuff and that you can actually start applying it to your life because you take the knowledge and apply it.
16:10
That's where a lot of people go wrong. And back to your story about, I'll just get more knowledge or just never taking the time to applying it and really listening to what knowledge suits us best. What knowledge do I want to apply to my life that feels good to me? I promised myself about three years ago that I was going to be a quick learner. I had learned some pretty long, hard lessons. Now it's more just, okay, come on, show up for yourself. Just 1 % better.
16:41
Thank you once again for tuning in and becoming the conscious mama you were born to be. Remember, I wasn't some magical unicorn who stumbled into fertility success. I stayed consistent. I put in the work and I made it happen. And guess what? You can too. And I have something for my loyal podcast listeners, but here's the key. This is only for women who are feeling burnt out, frustrated, and stuck in the cycle of endless research. And you're at a point
17:10
where you are screaming, I have tried everything, why isn't this working? This only works for women who are ready to take a radical responsibility for their journey and start listening to their body's innate wisdom because deep down you know you can heal and achieve your ultimate goal. If that's not you yet, that's okay. Not everyone is ready yet.
17:36
to show up with ease, deeply connect to their energy, unlock subconscious patterns, and listen to their body's ability to come into full coherence. But for those who are ready, I'm offering something I only do with my paying clients, and this is a fertility breakthrough session. This is the first thing I do, even before I start.
17:58
really deeply working with someone in a coaching package. It's a deep dive session where we look at exactly where you are right now, what's keeping you stuck, and the easy shifts that can change everything. But fair warning, these sessions are very limited and go fast. So if you're interested in checking out my superpower for uncovering exactly what's been overlooked, jump into one of these free calls.
18:26
They're deep, they're intuitive, and they're game changing. The only way you can access this is if you actually personally message me. You can do it on your favorite platform, IG, TikTok, or at my personal email, monica at findingfertility.co, not .com because they wanted $3,000 for the M with just one word. And that word is dreams, obviously, D-R-E-A-M-S. uh
18:56
and I'll make sure you get that link right away. Remember, this transformation happens when you stay committed to yourself. Trust your body, follow your intuition, make it possible. The links that you need are down below. And if you are still here and you absolutely love this podcast, please take some time and leave me a review and help other women like you find this podcast to get the support they need. Help a sister out. Leave a review today.
