Why Resentment Is Draining Your Fertility Energy & How to Finally Break Free
You know that quiet rage that simmers under the surface? The one that shows up when you’ve been doing all the things — eating clean, tracking temps, peeing on sticks, showing up at every doctor appointment — and you’re still not pregnant. That heaviness in your chest? That’s resentment. And if you’re honest, it’s running the show more often than you want to admit.
Resentment is sneaky. It looks like exhaustion, withdrawal, over-explaining, or “I’m fine” when you’re definitely not fine. It’s hot, heavy, and laced with shame. And in fertility land, resentment becomes more than just an emotion. It clogs your flow. It keeps your nervous system on high alert. And left unchecked, it can turn into a full-blown case of fertility burnout.
Resentment Toward Your Partner (Yep, It Happens)
Maybe you felt it before infertility was even a thing. He doesn’t have to give up coffee or chart his cervical mucus. He seems to bounce back from disappointment faster than you do. He doesn’t “get it.” And you’re sitting there seething because you’ve carried the emotional labor, the needles, the two-week waits, while he’s blissfully oblivious.
The Comparison Game With Other Women
This one stings. The friend who gets pregnant on the first try. The coworker who complains about her kids, while you’d give anything for one sleepless night with a newborn. The woman doing “all the wrong things” while you micromanage your kale intake. Resentment says, “Why her and not me?” And honestly, that thought alone can spiral you straight into IVF trauma and nervous system chaos.
Resentment Toward Yourself and Your Body
You might beat yourself up for waiting too long, not listening to your intuition sooner, or believing the system’s quick-fix promises. Then there’s the deep, gut-level resentment toward your body. The betrayal you feel when your womb doesn’t cooperate, when lab results feel like another failure. I’ve been there — during my first IVF, I felt like cattle being shuffled through a cold, dismissive system.
The Hidden Cost: Cellular Stress
Here’s the truth most doctors won’t tell you: resentment doesn’t just mess with your mood. It hijacks your biology. Chronic cortisol spikes, tight fascia in your chest and hips, nervous system dysregulation, hormonal misfires — all linked to the emotional junk drawer you’ve been stuffing resentment into. This isn’t “just in your head.” It’s in your cells, your breath, your womb space.
“You cannot logic your way out of resentment. You have to feel it, name it, and alchemize it.”
Moving From Bitterness to Breakthrough
The good news? Resentment is not a life sentence. You don’t shame your way out of it. You alchemize it. You speak the truth you’ve been swallowing. You release the old VHS tape of victimhood and record a new one where your boundaries, your nervous system, and your womb space are honored.
That shift isn’t just for you — it’s for your future children. Because bitterness imprints. And I don’t know about you, but I refuse to pass down resentment as a family heirloom.
“We’re not carrying bitterness into motherhood. We’re making space for love, joy, and clarity.”
Final Takeaway
Resentment doesn’t make you broken, weak, or bad. It makes you human. But staying stuck in it keeps you trapped in the same loops that block fertility, joy, and connection. When you take radical responsibility to clear resentment — not perfectly, not overnight, but consistently — you create the energetic space your baby is calling you toward.
🎧 Ready to go deeper? This episode unpacks how resentment hijacks fertility and the practical tools to release it. LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE HERE →
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Listen up, lovelies: Everything I share about health, diet, or fertility magic is my opinion. Yep, it’s all based on years of trial and error, study, reading, listening, and side-eyeing the nonsense out there. What worked for me might be a jackpot for you—or it might be a total flop. Bodies are weird like that. 🤷♀️
Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, or any other kind of licensed health wizard. If you need medical advice, run—don’t walk—to an actual qualified professional. Don’t come back here saying Monique told you to eat kale for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, okay?
As for the products I mention, they’re either what I used during my own infertility rollercoaster or what I wish I’d known about back then. No guarantees, no promises, and absolutely no refunds on your hope budget if it doesn’t work out.
Now that we’ve cleared that up, proceed with curiosity and, above all, discernment. You’ve got this. 💪✨
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Full Transcript:
00:00
Hello beautiful and welcome to the Finding Fertility podcast.
00:10
I'm Monica, your mentor in uncovering the hidden layers of your fertility journey. Together, we'll discover the right path for you within the six essential steps to creating the family of your dreams. We'll ditch the overwhelm, tune into your intuition, and build a vibrant foundation for your fertility. Whether it's through gut health, subconscious healing, or energetic alignment, you can unlock your body's natural power to get and stay pregnant.
00:37
Your fertility journey is all about radical responsibility and deeply believing that your body is on your side. It's time to stay consistent, embrace trust, surrender, and create the transformation you deserve. Fighting fertility does not diagnose, prescribe, or treat any fertility issues. What we do is empower you to take control of your health by uncovering the root causes holding you back. Let's do this together.
01:05
Happy Friday, y'all. Welcome back to another episode of Finding Fertility. I'm your host, Monica Cox, and I'm truly honored you are here becoming the conscious mama you were born to be. Today, we are talking about resentment. It is a heavy, hot energy. It simmers, it builds, and it often comes with shame. It is what rises when you've been holding it together for too long, when your needs have been unmet and unspoken.
01:35
when you've over given, over function, over explained, and still feel unseen and aren't getting the results that you want. It's a quiet rage mixed with a lot of heartache and a lot of heartbreak. So let's talk about some of the ways resentment is showing up in your life. So towards your partner,
02:04
maybe resentment before fertility issues even started. But I see a lot of resentment in he doesn't have to do as much work as I have to do. Maybe he won't change his habits. He maybe isn't as or seems as emotionally invested or gets over disappointment faster. He doesn't get it. They're all really big things. So
02:33
Resentment for your partner might be a big one. This one sneaks into most people's journey at some point, resentment towards other women, women who get pregnant so easily, women who complain about their kids or treat their fertility so casually, get pregnant while doing all the wrong things. Why you are over here micromanaging even your cervical mucus.
03:02
It can become really resentful that people seem to have it easier than you do. Resentment towards your past self for maybe waiting too long, not listening sooner, right? Coming to this part of your journey where you're like, oh my God, I wish I would have just known, or maybe even like just doing it wrong. You can have resentment towards your body. You might feel betrayed. It might feel like your body's not cooperating.
03:32
with you so you can have resentment towards that. You can have resentment towards the system for being dismissive, cold. I know during my fertility journey, my first IVF, I felt like cattle. I felt like a number just pushed through the system. So you can have a lot of resentment. I know that showed up for me when I was pregnant with my natural baby. I got real mad and
04:00
a lot of resentment towards the system because it's like, why don't you know this stuff? This is common sense. And you could be having resentment towards God or the universe for letting this happen to you, the kind of wise me. It's all normal. And you're not wrong or bad for feeling this way. But resentment is like emotional
04:30
If it doesn't clear, it hardens. And when it hardens, it clogs your flow. Now, resentment doesn't always start as anger. It can start as disconnection. It builds when you don't feel safe to speak your truth. You minimize your own needs. You hold back emotionally in order to keep the peace. You take on the emotional labor for everyone else. You live in performance instead of presence.
04:58
So let's just all be honest here. This probably started before you even started trying to conceive with some of the people in your life. This could be energy from your mother, from your father that is on you. And it felt safe, it felt normal. So you easily stepped into that frequency during this fertility journey.
05:27
And it can feel really empowering at first. We definitely use it as a protective shield, but underneath all the resentment is very real pain. We can even go into the grief that says, I want something different than what I got. So let's go back a few weeks to the grief episode. We definitely know that is something that we are grieving.
05:55
we can have, they can coincide that grief and resentment. And a fear that no one is really here for you right now. This journey can feel very isolating, especially if you don't have any friends or know someone who has gone through the same thing as you. You feel like it's only you. Even though your partner's going through it with you,
06:23
You might not be processing it the same way, so he doesn't get it. He doesn't know what getting your period is like every month. He hasn't been through the physical sides of IVF. So it can just be like a really lonely time. But energetically, resentment traps you in the loop of blame and being stuck. You really start building that frequency and the contracts in your field.
06:50
that their stories of lack, betrayal, of powerlessness, even when you're doing all the right things and you potentially have a really supportive family, friends, and a partner, you can get stuck in these loops and these stories because resentment is there. And then just like grief, just like anger,
07:17
just like these emotions that are keeping us stuck, they're going to contribute to the physical BS, the chronic cortisol elevations, the tight fascia in your chest, in your throat, in your hips, in your womb, your hormonal misfires, inflammation, nervous system dysregulation, and then you're not breathing correctly. So you have poor oxygenation.
07:48
These are big words I'm using today. So remember, emotions like resentment, anger, grief, fear, it becomes a cellular health issue as well. So when we take that radical responsibility and say, yeah, I'm dealing with resentment in my life right now, and I don't want that.
08:18
Because let's just hope, okay? Let's hope that you listening to this right now, you have a partner that is in alignment with you. That you have family and friends that, yeah, they don't get it, but they're here for you. That your body, I know this, your body is not broken, and it is not portraying you. It is fighting for you every single day to keep you alive and more.
08:43
So once again, getting out of that loop, out of that story, going back probably a month or so ago now to the podcast episode about identifying as such and such. So here's the thing. You cannot shame your out of resentment. You cannot logic your way out of it either. You have to feel it, name it, speak it.
09:12
You have to identify where your truth was silenced, where your energy was overextended, and tap into those modalities that you have, you already know. And then if you don't have those modalities, you got to jump into my world and learn them. Whole brain state, shematic movement, breath work, radical responsibility, contradictory action, again and again. Remember, we're not just letting go, we're alchemizing.
09:41
these emotions into clarity and power. So ask yourself, where have I swallowed my truth? What have I done at an obligation that you might now regret? What conversations are you avoiding because you're scared to be honest? When you learn to release resentment without making yourself feel wrong, you access a deeper level of self-leadership, empowerment. You return to your power, to your clarity.
10:11
to the loving boundaries that keep your frequency clean and your womb space feeling safe. We don't want to carry this bitterness into motherhood because as I've talked about before, your children will inherit it. They will pick up on that energy. It will imprint into their nervous system. We're not carrying the bitterness anymore, especially
10:39
in that victim mentality where we need to prove how much I've been hurt. That is the old version. We're moving into the new version of you. You are going to release it so something new can grow in that place. Love, joy, happiness. That is what your baby is calling for you to do. That's what your soul is calling for you to do.
11:09
So get radically honest. Do you have resentment in your life? And if you do, take the action to clear it and start doing the contradictory action again and again to make it your new reality. And make sure you come back for the next two weeks. We have a special guest, Diane, on the podcast. She warmly welcomed me onto her podcast, and we just really hit it off.
11:37
And I wanted to bring her on to give maybe a different fresh perspective on finding joy and what it means to be changing up these patterns during the way before motherhood. And she's just such a wealth of knowledge. So please make sure you tune in. I hope this podcast has been super supportive. I love you guys. I hope you have a beautiful weekend, and I'll see you next week on another episode of Finding Fertility.
12:07
Thank you once again for tuning in and becoming the conscious mama you were born to be. Remember, I wasn't some magical unicorn who stumbled into fertility success. I stayed consistent. put in the work and I made it happen. And guess what? You can too. And I have something for my loyal podcast listeners, but here's the key. This is only for women who are feeling burnt out, frustrated, and stuck in the cycle of endless research. And you're at a point
12:36
where you are screaming, I have tried everything, why isn't this working? This only works for women who are ready to take a radical responsibility for their journey and start listening to their body's innate wisdom because deep down you know you can heal and achieve your ultimate goal. If that's not you yet, that's okay. Not everyone is ready yet to show up with ease.
13:04
deeply connect to their energy, unlock subconscious patterns, and listen to their body's ability to come into full coherence. But for those who are ready, I'm offering something I only do with my paying clients, and this is a fertility breakthrough session. This is the first thing I do, even before I start really deeply working with someone in a coaching package. It's a deep dive session where we look at exactly
13:32
where you are right now, what's keeping you stuck, and the easy shifts that can change everything. But fair warning, these sessions are very limited and go fast. So if you're interested in checking out my superpower for uncovering exactly what's been overlooked, jump into one of these free calls. They're deep, they're intuitive, and they're game-changing. The only way you can access this is if you actually personally message me.
14:02
You can do it on your favorite platform, IG, TikTok, or at my personal email, [email protected], not .com because they wanted $3,000 for the M with just one word. And that word is dreams, obviously D-R-E-A-M-S. And I'll make sure you get that link right away. Remember, this transformation happens when you stay committed to yourself.
14:31
Trust your body, follow your intuition, make it possible. The links that you need are down below. And if you are still here and you absolutely love this podcast, please take some time and leave me a review and help other women like you find this podcast to get the support they need. Help a sister out. Leave a review today.
